Saturday, April 30, 2011
Pap Fiction
The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown is banned from sale within the borders of the Vatican City.
They should have made it a global ban...
They should have made it a global ban...
Utter Bollocks
Animal lovers should stop calling their furry or feathered friends “pets” because the term is insulting, leading academics* claim.
The call comes from the editors of then Journal of Animal Ethics, a new "academic" publication devoted to the issue.
More of this shite at TTel
*If that is the kind of garbage "academics are now spouting, it's time to redefine the term.
Domestic dogs, cats, hamsters or budgerigars should be rebranded as “companion animals” while owners should be known as “human carers”, they insist. Even terms such as wildlife are dismissed as insulting to the animals concerned- who should instead be known as “free-living”, the academics, including an Oxford professor suggest.
The call comes from the editors of then Journal of Animal Ethics, a new "academic" publication devoted to the issue.
More of this shite at TTel
*If that is the kind of garbage "academics are now spouting, it's time to redefine the term.
Here're The Top Ten
With the full list of those earning £200 000 and more at TTel:
I see only one (highlighted) doctor in the list...
1. David Bennett £282,500
Was interim chief executive of Monitor, independent regulator of NHS foundation trusts, from March 2010 to February 2011
2. Neil Lloyd £282,500
Chief executive, NHS Professionals
3. Ruth Carnall £277,500
Chief executive, London Strategic Health Authority
4. Sir Ron Kerr £274,500
Chief executive, Guy’s and St Thomas’s NHS Foundation Trust
5. Sir Robert Naylor £262,500
Chief executive, University College London Hospitals NHS Foundation Trust
6. Peter Morris £262, 000
Chief executive, Barts and The London trust
7. Clare Chapman £252,500
Director general of workforce, Department of Health
8. Sir Andrew Cash £243,100
Chief executive, Sheffield Teaching Hospitals Foundation Trust
9. Dr Mark Goldman £242, 500
Chief executive, Heart of England Foundation Trust until July 2010
10. David Dalton £232 600
Chief executive, Salford Royal NHS Foundation trust
I see only one (highlighted) doctor in the list...
Non Producers
More than 600 NHS managers currently earn more than the Prime Minister after enjoying generous pay rises under Labour, an investigation has found.
At least 650 NHS managers earn in excess of the PM's salary, according to the latest figures- including 46 with an income of at least £200 000 in 2009/10. The findings reveal generous rewards for thousands of senior managers on the boards of hundreds of hospital, primary care, ambulance and mental health trusts. Hundreds more received six-figure salaries courtesy of health authorities and dozens of NHS quangos.
More at TTel
Earnings for trust chief executives rose by 121% cent under the last Government, outstripping increases for all other groups of health workers, By contrast, nurses' earnings rose by only 68%. By the time Labour lost the election, four out of five NHS hospital chief executives in England were earning more than £142 500– the salary received by Cameraman.
At least 650 NHS managers earn in excess of the PM's salary, according to the latest figures- including 46 with an income of at least £200 000 in 2009/10. The findings reveal generous rewards for thousands of senior managers on the boards of hundreds of hospital, primary care, ambulance and mental health trusts. Hundreds more received six-figure salaries courtesy of health authorities and dozens of NHS quangos.
More at TTel
Barcelona Uncovered
Bikini-clad women and uncovered male torsos are to be outlawed on the streets of Barcelona.
Local officials passed a law last Friday banning nudity and what they described as "near nudity" in the city centre, with anyone ignoring the regulations risking a fine, after concerns had been expressed that too many locals and tourists were unable to distinguish where the beaches ended and the city started.
Lawmakers and tourism bosses were worried Barcelona's image was being damaged by the number of people walking straight off the sand and into residential and historic areas without bothering to adjust their dress.
Signs were erected in coastal areas of Barcelona earlier this year, asking people to cover up when they left the beaches, but the message did not appear to get through, so legislation has now been passed that will allow the police to fine anyone spotted on the streets in a bikini, swimsuit or trunks up to 300€.
The new law also includes provision for fines of up to 500€ for anyone who is found to be completely naked in public anywhere in the city other than its nudist beach, after a number of incidents of people walking or cycling through the streets without a stitch of clothing on.
Seems fair enough to me.
Local officials passed a law last Friday banning nudity and what they described as "near nudity" in the city centre, with anyone ignoring the regulations risking a fine, after concerns had been expressed that too many locals and tourists were unable to distinguish where the beaches ended and the city started.
Lawmakers and tourism bosses were worried Barcelona's image was being damaged by the number of people walking straight off the sand and into residential and historic areas without bothering to adjust their dress.
Signs were erected in coastal areas of Barcelona earlier this year, asking people to cover up when they left the beaches, but the message did not appear to get through, so legislation has now been passed that will allow the police to fine anyone spotted on the streets in a bikini, swimsuit or trunks up to 300€.
The new law also includes provision for fines of up to 500€ for anyone who is found to be completely naked in public anywhere in the city other than its nudist beach, after a number of incidents of people walking or cycling through the streets without a stitch of clothing on.
Seems fair enough to me.
Is it Over Yet?
TERRIFYING numbers of people are going nuts on the streets of England because two people they've never met are getting married in a big church.
It's the one on the right
Divorced welder Tom Logan, who has been voluntarily sleeping in a tent in a London street because of all this, said: “I can't believe how amazing this is. Definitely worth living in a gutter for nine days drinking my own recycled urine to see a fleeting glimpse of what was either a gilded carriage or a recycling lorry.
“This is the best day of my life, other than when I discovered my own reflection wasn't an evil ghost.”
All around the country semi-compulsory fun is being enjoyed by large groups of easily-amused individuals, united by their shared enthusiasm for wealthy people.
Reveller Nikki Ellis said: “The atmosphere is amazing, it's like Notting Hill Carnival but less black-oriented.
“Some people say the wedding is probably a nice thing for the people getting married, who seem pleasant enough, but overall they aren't any more bothered about it than the Windsors would be if they got hitched.
“To which I say, you're entitled to your opinion but you hate England and everything in it and should be torn apart by rabid bulldogs in a mess of exploding entrails.”
Typically strange-looking commentator Stephen Malley said: “To people who don't like this sort of thing, I say: George Orwell liked it, he was cleverer than you, so fuck off.”
The land mass popularly known as Great Britain, on which the wedding is taking place, said: “Being a massive inanimate thing without arms or eyes, I have been unable to see the pictures of Kate looking pretty in Hello! and thus get worked up about it all.
“Personally I think the best thing about me is my 700 soil types.”
DMash
Good Call
The Ministry of Defence has confirmed that the Royal Navy’s two new aircraft carriers have been named after the Queen and the Prince of Wales because, much like them, they are an enormous waste of money.
The cost of the aircraft carriers was originally thought to be in the region of £5.2bn, which according to the Confederation of British Industry (CBI) is roughly the same as the cost of tomorrow’s Royal Wedding to the economy, but the firms building the new aircraft carriers say the cost has risen by at least £1bn and possibly almost £2bn.
An MoD spokesperson revealed, “It seemed a fitting tribute that two people who have contributed absolutely nothing to the country at the taxpayers expense should have the honour of having their names put to what amounts to 120,000 tonnes of metal contributing nothing to the country at the taxpayers expense.”
“Also, we’ll be spending millions of pounds sending them to the far flung corners of the world for years to come, so the Royal symmetry doesn’t end just with their manufacture.”
Royalists have said they are delighted with the impact the aircraft carriers have on the country, insisting they do more good than harm.
Royalist Miriam Walters said, “People come from all over the world to have attacks launched at them by our aircraft carriers, we should be proud they’re ours.”
A Navy spokesperson concluded, “Of course, their main function will be to aim various weaponry with the intention of harming foreigners, which is why we didn’t name one after Prince Philip, we thought that would be a little too close to home.”
NT
Smoking Curbs: The Global Picture
A guide from the BBC to smoking bans around the world as governments seek to improve the health of their populations.
Australia
The state of Western Australia introduced the strictest anti-smoking laws in the country in September 2010, with bans in cars carrying children, on sections of beaches and within 10m (32ft) of playground equipment.Australia also plans to force tobacco companies to use plain packaging carrying graphic health warnings from July 2012.
Across the country, smoking is already banned inside all airports, government offices, health clinics and workplaces.
New Zealand
New Zealand has announced a ban on smoking throughout prisons from July 2011.Officials said high levels of smoking were a risk to staff and prisoners, and they dismissed concerns that the ban would spark violence. It is believed that two-thirds of the New Zealand's prison population are smokers.
New Zealand already bans smoking in bars, clubs, restaurants, offices, workplaces and shops, and on public transport.
Canada
Canada's strict anti-smoking laws have been credited with cutting hospital admissions for heart and respiratory problems by about a third.A study published in the Canadian Medical Association Journal in April 2010 monitored admissions in the city of Toronto since smoking bans were introduced in 2001.
Smoking levels in Canada have long been among the lowest in the world, with about 21% of Canadians over the age of 15 reported to be smokers in 2002, according to government statistics.
In addition to bans on smoking in workplaces and many public places, cigarette packets bear graphic images of the damage done to internal organs by smoking.
China
China banned smoking in hospitals in May 2010 but activists say there have seen no signs of the government introducing a promised national ban on smoking in public places.Many Chinese cities have their own regulations on where people can light up, but enforcement is varied.
A government survey in August showed that only a quarter of the adult population believed that smoking increased the risk of cancer. Anti-smoking campaigns are failing to influence them, state news agency Xinhua reported.
In May 2008, in the run-up to the Olympic Games, a smoking ban for most public buildings came into force in the Chinese capital, Beijing. The country has an estimated 350 million smokers. For every three cigarettes lit worldwide, one is smoked in China.
Syria
In April 2010 Syria become the first Arab state to ban smoking in public places including restaurants and cafes.The law also prohibits smoking in educational institutions, health centres, sports halls, cinemas and theatres, and on public transport.
The restrictions include the nargile, or hubble-bubble pipe, which is popular among locals and tourists.
Egypt
Egypt took its first steps in introducing a smoking ban earlier this year.In July, the city of Alexandria began enforcing an existing law - usually flouted - that banned smoking in government buildings. Officials said they aimed to extend the ban to the city's cafes within two years.
Egypt is the biggest consumer of cigarettes in the Arab world, puffing its way through some 19 billion cigarettes every year.
Europe
Greece has long been regarded as Europe's biggest smoking nation and has struggled to make its citizens kick the habit. In September 2010 a fresh attempt was made with a law banning tobacco advertising and smoking in enclosed public spaces. Critics of Spain's anti-smoking laws say bars will lose business as a result
In 2009 smoking was prohibited in hospitals and schools, vehicles and all public spaces but it was largely ignored in many areas.Previous attempts to introduce a ban in 2002 and 2003 also failed.
Spain already has anti-smoking laws but tougher rules were announced in October which will give the country some of the strictest legislation in Europe. Lighting up will be banned in bars, cafes and restaurants and extend to open areas near hospitals, schools and children's playground. The new rules are due to come into effect in January.
Poland brought in anti-smoking laws in November 2010. The ban covers schools, museums, theatres, airports and railway and bus stations, public transport, stadiums, hospitals and playgrounds. Smoking is also banned in one-room restaurants and bars.
Estonia joined those European countries banning smoking in bars and restaurants on 5 June, 2007. The law bans smoking in cafes, restaurants, bars, nightclubs - except for special zones - and at bus stops and underground train stations. Offenders face a fine of 80 euros, while owners of cafes and restaurants can face a fine of up to 2,000 euros.
Finland introduced a similar measure on 1 June 2009.
France took a major step towards a total public ban when it announced it would prevent smoking in workplaces and other public buildings from 1 February 2007.
The law was extended in 2008 to include cafes, restaurants and bars.
Its first serious move to cut smoking levels came in October 2003, when it raised the price of cigarettes by 20%.
Correspondents say attitudes to smoking have changed dramatically in France since the 2007 ban, and any fears that people would generally ignore the laws have proved false.
In Germany, eight states, including Berlin, ushered in 2008 declaring their pubs and restaurants smoke-free.
German restaurants and pubs have strongly resisted the bans, not only because of the potential loss of income but partly because of an earlier crackdown on smoking initiated by Adolf Hitler's Nazi regime.
The sensitivity of the issue has prompted the authorities to allow special rooms to be set up purely for smokers.
The toughest rules in Germany have been brought in by Bavaria, where no smoking rooms have been allowed. Lighting up was recently banned at the Oktoberfest Munich beer festival for the first time.
The Republic of Ireland imposed tough anti-smoking legislation in March 2004, banning smoking in pubs, restaurants and other enclosed workplaces.
Anyone caught smoking in a prohibited location now faces a fine of up to 3,000 euros (£2,000).
Italy imposed a ban on smoking in all enclosed public places including bars and restaurants from midnight on 10 January, 2005.
Montenegro: In August 2004, Montenegro - then part of a union with Serbia - decided to introduce a sweeping ban on smoking in public places in the hope of overturning an established culture of smoking in offices, restaurants, bars and on buses.
Tobacco advertising and the portrayal of smoking on television are also banned.
The Netherlands: The Dutch government banned smoking for hotels, restaurants and the catering industry in 2008, but in November 2010 announced that it plans to exempt bars smaller than 70sq m (753sq ft), with no staff other than the owner.
All bars must put up a sign telling customers whether or not it is a smoking establishment.
Health Minister Edith Schippers said consumers "will get more freedom of choice and personnel will remain protected against tobacco smoke".
In Norway a national ban was imposed on smoking in restaurants, bars and cafes from 1 June 2004.
Portugal introduced restrictions on 1 January 2008 but the rules not as tight as some other European countries. Portuguese bars smaller than 100sq m can still opt to allow smoking. Public buildings can still have smoking zones, provided they are clearly signposted and ventilated.
Smoking in Sweden was prohibited in all bars and restaurants from midnight in May 2005.
In the United Kingdom, smoking is banned in nearly all enclosed public spaces - including bars, restaurants and workplaces.
The ban came into force in England in July 2007. Scotland introduced a ban in March 2006, followed by Wales and Northern Ireland in April 2007.
The government also plans to ask tobacco firms to put only basic information and health or picture warnings on their packets. Making packets a plain colour would also protect children from taking up smoking in the first place, it suggests.
India
A ban on smoking in public places came into force in October 2008 in an effort to curb high levels of tobacco addiction.The law also bans direct and indirect advertising of tobacco products and the sale of cigarettes to children.
Iran
Iran banned tobacco advertising and smoking in public buildings in October 2003 - but analysts say both measures have had little effect.However, in July 2010 smokers were banned from taking high-ranking jobs in the Iranian government, the news agency ILNA reported.
Statistics show smoking among young Iranians is on the rise.
US
Many cities and states are considering - or already enforcing - bans on smoking. By November 2010, 27 states had banned lighting up in public places.California has some of the toughest and most extensive anti-smoking legislation anywhere in the world.
A ban on smoking inside or within 1.5m of any public building came into force in 1993 - recently extended to 6m. Smoking is also banned in restaurants, bars and enclosed workplaces - and on beaches - throughout the state.
New York is also set to adopt tought new measures, having banned smoking in bars, clubs and restaurants since March 2003. It is now set to extend the smoking ban to municipal parks, beaches and pedestrian areas, including the one in Times Square.
Anti-smoking laws have provoked a strong debate in the US. Some bar owners say their businesses are suffering and smokers say their rights are being infringed, while non-smokers say they enjoy the smoke-free environment.
Russia
The Russian government has announced plans to ban advertising and promotion of cigarettes from 2011 and to introduce a complete ban on smoking in enclosed spaces by 2015.The addiction kills up to 500,000 people a year in the country, Russia's RIA Novosti news agency reports.
A 2009 survey by the World Health Organization found that Russia has 43.9 million smokers - about 40% of the population. The survey also revealed that 60% of Russian men and 22% of Russian women smoke.
Uruguay
Uruguay - which recently hosted an international summit tobacco control - has introduced some of the world's toughest anti-tobacco policies, banning smoking in private as well as public enclosed spaces.It requires 80% of every cigarette package to show graphic images of the consequences of smoking, including diseased lungs and rotten gums.
Kenya
In the capital, Nairobi, a ban on smoking in indoor public places came into force in July 2007, with a similar ban in Mombasa and the Rift Valley town of Nakuru.Anyone smoking in offices, bus stations, airports and sports venue faces a fine of 50,000 Kenya shillings ($700; £375) or six months in prison.
Bars and restaurants without separate smoking areas are also affected.
Tanzania
Tanzania banned smoking in many public places in July 2003, with smoke-free zones declared on public transport, as well as in schools and hospitals.The government also banned the selling of tobacco to under-18s and advertising on radio and television and in newspapers.
Bhutan
Bhutan says it is determined to become the world's first smoking-free nation. It banned the sale of tobacco in 2004 and smoking in public places in 2005.The country's draconian law gives police sweeping powers to enter homes and search for tobacco products. In addition, it gives them the power to jail shopkeepers for selling tobacco and to arrest smokers if they fail to provide customs receipts for imported cigarettes - which are only permitted in very small quantities.
Smokers can legally import only up to 200 cigarettes or 150g (5.3oz) of other tobacco products a month - but a 100% tax is charged on such products. People found in possession of tobacco must provide a customs receipt when challenged by police, and can face jail for smuggling if they fail to provide their receipts.
There is a cash fine for breaking the ban, and shops also stand to lose their licence.
Getting There
China's health ministry will renew its push to end smoking in public places with new regulations due to come into force today (1st May). These will outlaw smoking in places like bars, restaurants and buses, but not workplaces.
More than one in three people smoking a cigarette in the world right now is lighting up in China.
The country's authorities believe smoking kills more than one million people every year and that figure is predicted to triple by 2030.
More at the BBC
No, Ta
 |
Boulder's Twisted Pine Brewing Company is bottling fire.
The brewery, which is fond of adding unusual flavors to its whimsically named beers, will release Ghost Face Killah in twelve-ounce single bottles for Cinco de Mayo. It's the first time this very hot (very hot!) cult beer has been sold in bottles.
The beer is made with five well-known peppers -- Anaheim, Fresno, jalapeno, Serrano and habanero -- and one uncommon one: the ghost pepper (known in India as bhut jolokia) which, with 200 times the heat of jalapenos, are the hottest peppers in the world. Brewer Eric Mosiman says the crew wore masks and gloves to cut the peppers.
From here
Stubborn
Approximately one half of one per cent of the annual world-wide output of the greenhouse gas carbon dioxide is due to soft drink carbonation. Despite the availability of a nearly no-cost switch to nitrogen (an inert gas), fizzy drinks manufacturers are thus far refusing to make the change.
Congrats to Raeesa
Who gave birth top her first baby, a boy, in Sri Lanka over the weekend (29th). Both mother and son are all doing well. :o)
And the Time Is?
Credit: ThinkGeek
| 11 | Stainless Steel 8GB Video Watch, $79.99 |
Televisions are most desireable in one of two states: super tiny and super huge. This one is super tiny, but super huge for a watch, so it's pretty much a two-in-one. Packing 8 gigs of memory, or about two full-length arthouse films, this stainless steel watch from ThinkGeek is actually pretty decent looking. It also functions as a real watch, you know, so awesome! It's currently on sale for 20% off regular price, so hit it on up if you'd like to distract someone with a Golden Girls episode before punching them in the face with your wicker brass knuckles.
Buy: ThinkGeek
Buy: ThinkGeek
Credit: ThinkGeek
| 10 | R2-D2 Remote Control Watch, $29.99 |
The blur lines behind this R2-D2 unit means it can go super fast. What propels this little droid to scoot it's root hither and thither? Why, your remote control watch! The watch not only displays the time and looks like Artoo's chrome dome, it can make him move back and forth. When you aren't having fun with the little scrapper, the watchstrap has a clip for him to ride on. We'll never be apart again, my friend.
Buy: ThinkGeek
Buy: ThinkGeek
Credit: Hammacher Schlemmer
| 9 | TV Remote Control Watch, $99.95 |
At the risk of sounding like a stand-up comedian at the county airport lounge, I lose my remotes all of the time, sometimes so deep in the couch cushions that they come out the bottom and I have to crawl on my tummy to get them. This is highly unpleasant as well as dusty. Enter the Television Remote Control Wristwatch from those masters of the frivolous at Hammacher Schlemmer. Using six control buttons, the device can control most televisions, DVD players, and other infrared things. All you have to do is enter the three-digit model code and you're on your way. It's worth doing some research into the makes and models of your friends' entertainment devices for those times when they insist you give Say Yes to the Dress "a chance."
Buy: Hammacher Schlemmer
Buy: Hammacher Schlemmer
Abyss LED Touchscreen Watch Credit: China Invasion
| 8 | Abyss LED Touchscreen watch, $45.79 |
I just watched a YouTube video of this and I feel a third eye emerging from my forehead as well as the intense need to try some of my dogs' food so I can make sure they are happy with it's taste. This watch will drive your mind to the cobwebiest corners of reality. Just ask the purveyors at Chinavasion: "The Abyss stays broodingly dark like Conradian Darkness Heart until you tape its crystal surface upon which the screen explodes with blue and white LED pixies like a thousand baby Bruce Springsteens dancing in the dark against a thousand Billy Idols dancing with themselves." Wow, I suspected communism bred such creativity, but not like this! One ticket to the Beijing High Life, please!
Buy: Chinavasion
Buy: Chinavasion
Credit: Nike
| 7 | Nike+ SportWatch, $199 |
This Nike vs. TomTom joint is a must-have for serious runners and sporty types. God bless you if you're one of those who shares our web interests, as you are few and far between. This watch's internal GPS measures your speed and distance, while the watch tracks your heart rate and calories burned. Compatibility with Nikeplus.com gives you even more data, like your mapped route with pace data. It also reminds you to run, which means that when not in use I will be burying it deep within a dark, dark place.
Buy: Nike
Buy: Nike
Credit: Edge
| 6 | Hidden USB Flash Drive Watch, $62.52 |
Well hey there, Richie Rich, looks like you can afford a watch without a rubber strap or a face that is actually a character's face. Not only with this Edge watch help with making you look like an interesting, stable business professional, it will keep all of your documents on your person and in a secret hiding place. You see, inside this dressy bessy is a 2GB USB flash drive. Not too shabby, scientists. Your move, wizard community.
Buy: Buy.com
The promo copy for this watch says that this watch was what Harrison Ford was talking to in Blade Runner when he kept saying "Enhance. Enhance." I don't know about that, but I should probably spend two hundred bucks just to be on the safe side. Blades is pretty awesome. Like an underwater sonar detecting mines around your submarine, the watch searches the coordinates and stops on the correct time.
Buy: Yanko
Buy: Buy.com
Credit: Quicksilver
| 5 | Quicksilver Ray Eco Watch, $720 |
Check this out: this watch requires no batteries at all and is made entirely from recyclable materials. Hand-crafted from real ebony wood direct from sustainable managed forests, this Wiccan surfer's delight is the brainchild of the people at Quicksilver. Since it was made in a limited edition of less than 1000, they're now incredibly hard to find. The cheapest one I can find will still run you over $700, so the chances of you bothering to recycle it at all are probably pretty slim.
Buy: iServo
Buy: iServo
Credit: High Gear
| 4 | High Gear Altitech, $111.99 |
Personally I never go anywhere without being in a ten foot radius of a USB input, but to each his own. If you're the outdoorsy type that isn't put off by James Franco hallucinating and eating a sweaty burrito, you might want to take this along with you on your climbing expeditions. The High Gear Altitech not only tells time, it functions as a weather gal, a compass, and a chronograph. I don't know what that last one means, but I'm pretty sure if you touch somebody with it it makes them have to tell the truth.
Buy: Alfred E. Bike
Buy: Alfred E. Bike
Credit: Seahope LTD
| 3 | Scope Watch, $189 |
Buy: Yanko
Credit: Humminbird
| 2 | Humminbird SmartCast Fish Finder, $66.99 |
Where's that rascally fish? All chopped up and squeed into tubes for mah fish sticks, that's where it is. But if you prerfer your fish disgusting, slimy, and wriggling about, you might want to invest in this fish finding watch. It tracks fishies' movement up to 100 feet deep and 75 feet out via the remote sonar sensor you throw in the water. It probably floats so you will most likely be able to get it back.
Buy: Anchor Express
Buy: Anchor Express
Credit: Spy Net:
| 1 | Spy Net: Secret Mission Video Watch, $39 |
I am both afraid of and attracted to the Spy Net: Secret Mission Video Watch due to its verbal proximity to Sky Net. This wristwatch's obvious good lucks can be attributed in public to an Apple prototype you have personal access to. While ladies and tech types cool over your exclusiveness, you can snap secret video, audio, and photos. It holds up to 20 minutes of video, 4 hours of audio, and 2000 pictures. James Bond's video watch is probably a little less obvious, but who needs a Rolex when you look this sweet. It also works with a snake cam, sold separately and probably used for peeking under bathroom stall doors.
Buy: Amazon
Buy: Amazon
How They Line Up Today
Estoril MotoGP qualifying results:
1 J Lorenzo (Sp) Yamaha @ 1:37.161
2 M Simoncelli (It) Ducati @ 1:37.294
3 D Pedrosa (Sp) Honda @ 1:37.324
4 C Stoner (Aus) Honda @ 1:37.384
5 B Spies (US) Honda @ 1:37.866
Ducati's Valentino Rossi finished ninth and completes the third row.
1 J Lorenzo (Sp) Yamaha @ 1:37.161
2 M Simoncelli (It) Ducati @ 1:37.294
3 D Pedrosa (Sp) Honda @ 1:37.324
4 C Stoner (Aus) Honda @ 1:37.384
5 B Spies (US) Honda @ 1:37.866
Ducati's Valentino Rossi finished ninth and completes the third row.
Too Close
| Team | P | GD | PTS | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Man Utd | 34 | 39 | 73 |
| 2 | Chelsea | 35 | 38 | 70 |
| 3 | Arsenal | 34 | 31 | 64 |
| 4 | Man City | 33 | 21 | 59 |
| 5 | Tottenham | 34 | 7 | 55 |
| 6 | Liverpool | 34 | 12 | 52 |
| 7 | Everton | 35 | 5 | 48 |
| 8 | Bolton | 35 | 0 | 46 |
| 9 | Fulham | 35 | 7 | 45 |
| 10 | Stoke | 35 | 0 | 43 |
| 11 | West Brom | 35 | -14 | 43 |
| 12 | Newcastle | 34 | 1 | 41 |
| 13 | Aston Villa | 35 | -13 | 41 |
| 14 | Sunderland | 35 | -13 | 41 |
| 15 | Blackburn | 35 | -14 | 38 |
| 16 | Birmingham | 34 | -17 | 38 |
| 17 | Blackpool | 35 | -22 | 35 |
| 18 | Wigan | 35 | -23 | 35 |
| 19 | Wolves | 34 | -23 | 33 |
| 20 | West Ham | 34 | -22 | 32 |
Why Do I Expect Anything Less?
Another loss to Chelsea, albeit in dodgy circumstances, We go down 2-1 at Stamford bridge after taking the lead and then giving up a soft goal on the 45th minute as Gomes once again makes a pig's arse of a save. Apparently the ball didn't cross the line, yet we go in all square at half time.
Then, to give away a goal in the last minute (also suspected off-side) is criminal and we are now hanging on to 5th spot with only 3 points in front of Liverpool. I can see us messing that up too.
Who wants to be a Spurs fan?
Then, to give away a goal in the last minute (also suspected off-side) is criminal and we are now hanging on to 5th spot with only 3 points in front of Liverpool. I can see us messing that up too.
Who wants to be a Spurs fan?
D Day Approaches
Today we trust our passports to strangers and keep all fingers crossed for a week as we apply for our 60 day Thai visas. We get this and it will make life so much easier as we can go all the way through to our departure date back to the UK without having to leave the country half way through.
We'll know by the end of the week.
We'll know by the end of the week.
Super Night Out
We went out for the night with Chan Thohn yesterday, the lad from the hotel who wanted to practise his English. A most charming young man (20), he showed us around the night market, introduced us to his sister who was working at one of the food stalls and then we went for dinner at Khmer Idea.
To round off, we went to the local night club a rather heaving joint full of drunken Westerners all guzzling cheap alcohol and trying to dance to rather good pre-1980s music. He said he had only been there once and so we doubled his score and we all had a smashing time- especially when Led Zep's "Rock and Roll" came booming out. I doubt he'd ever seen a bald blurk head bang. :o)
Jolly good fun and hopefully we can do one more before we leave. We do still have a fortnight here but the time is fast zipping by,
To round off, we went to the local night club a rather heaving joint full of drunken Westerners all guzzling cheap alcohol and trying to dance to rather good pre-1980s music. He said he had only been there once and so we doubled his score and we all had a smashing time- especially when Led Zep's "Rock and Roll" came booming out. I doubt he'd ever seen a bald blurk head bang. :o)
Jolly good fun and hopefully we can do one more before we leave. We do still have a fortnight here but the time is fast zipping by,
Build More Bogs
In Toronto theatres the average bathroom wait time during intermission for a woman is eight minutes, the longest in North America. The average wait for a man is only 40 seconds.
That's Funny
I thought we'd set a new record for the number of posts in one month (1 111) but looking back, we did a ridiculous 1 250 in December last year (2010). Oh well, it was still fun taking time off yesterday.
Gotta Do This- 100
Eh? There isn't one. How can one have an article on the top one hundred things to do before you die (by Dave Freeman) and then just stop at 99? How very trendy.
Never mind, it gave us a few ideas and while most require the budget of a brazillionaire, who knows.
We're going to be doing our "bucket list" for the povs, which we'll be posting up in the near future.
Never mind, it gave us a few ideas and while most require the budget of a brazillionaire, who knows.
We're going to be doing our "bucket list" for the povs, which we'll be posting up in the near future.
Gotta Do This- 87
World Cow Chip Throwing Championship: Nine-time champion James Pratt: "I am just in it for the challenge. I got into it in 1992. I used to work for the city here, we have a parade every year and the contest just developed as a part of that and we got into it. I have been doing it every year since and have been getter the better for it; practice is just all it takes, that, and a lot of luck. Between the first and second throws you are supposed to lick your fingers for luck, which I do sometimes. People say I have got to be doing something right because I am always winning. I certainly don?t train. I just want to see how far I can throw it. Nowadays, we have people from all over the world coming to check out what is happening, everywhere from Texas, Kansas, to Hawaii."
Dead Chuffed
My lucky number is 1 and not anything else. :o)
Because we stopped on all the ones (1 111 post count) yesterday, I had a day off the Blog and did absolutely nowt all day. It was great.
Because we stopped on all the ones (1 111 post count) yesterday, I had a day off the Blog and did absolutely nowt all day. It was great.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
That's Yer Lot
We've reached yet another milestone on this Blog which sees us nail exactly 1 111 posts in one month. I am aware we still have one day to go before May begins, but it's a memorable number (and 1 has always been my lucky number anyway), so we're stopping a day early and taking tomorrow off.
We haven't forgotten our final batch of "Gotta Do This" posts nor a few suggestions of our own, but I really can't ever see us reaching over eleven hundred posts ever again and so want to leave it at that.
So, "Happy Freebie off Work" day to you all and don't forget you've got another day off on Monday as it's Mayday in the UK. We'll see you in the new month, the day after tomorrow, which also happens top be our 61st of the tour. :o)
We haven't forgotten our final batch of "Gotta Do This" posts nor a few suggestions of our own, but I really can't ever see us reaching over eleven hundred posts ever again and so want to leave it at that.
So, "Happy Freebie off Work" day to you all and don't forget you've got another day off on Monday as it's Mayday in the UK. We'll see you in the new month, the day after tomorrow, which also happens top be our 61st of the tour. :o)
Money Well Spent
A hospital axing staff and wards has spent more than £27 000 on changing its name. Croydon University Hospital, formerly known as Mayday, used the funds to rebrand itself.
The bulk of the cash was spent on new signs and road directions while hundreds of pounds went on notifying patients of the change.
The £27,659 spend comes as Croydn Health Services Trust, which runs the hospital, announced it will axe 200 jobs this year and it will also close four wards by 2014 as it looks to save £34.7 million over the next three years.
Priorities, eh?
The bulk of the cash was spent on new signs and road directions while hundreds of pounds went on notifying patients of the change.
The £27,659 spend comes as Croydn Health Services Trust, which runs the hospital, announced it will axe 200 jobs this year and it will also close four wards by 2014 as it looks to save £34.7 million over the next three years.
Priorities, eh?
Sorry, For Blue Bus Users
Palindromes are words or phrases that read the same in both directions, such as:
- Do geese see God?
- Murder for a jar of red rum.
- Never odd or even.
Palindromes
There are exactly six palindromes, using common English words, that contain the letter "Q".
I wish they had listed them, I can't think of one.
I wish they had listed them, I can't think of one.
Woe is Them
Brent council has been accused of conning residents into getting parking fines after it failed to send reminder notices to permit holders. They usually send residents a letter to notify them that their permits are due to expire along with a renewal form, but last month they failed to do so, leading to scores of residents being fined because they forgot to renew their permits.
Bosses admitted they made the mistake after undergoing "an unfortunate computer glitch", but have refused to refund residents who were fined. They say the reminder letters are only sent "out of courtesy". Motorists claim the move is a con to make thousands of pounds from car owners who pay up to £200 a year to park.
Once again a prime example of how the UK is becoming (has already become) a land where no one accepts responsibility for themselves. Who's at fault here? The vehicle owners; it's entirely their own responsibility but as ever, they look for someone to point the finger of blame at.
Serves you right- perhaps next year you won't be so stupid.
Bosses admitted they made the mistake after undergoing "an unfortunate computer glitch", but have refused to refund residents who were fined. They say the reminder letters are only sent "out of courtesy". Motorists claim the move is a con to make thousands of pounds from car owners who pay up to £200 a year to park.
Once again a prime example of how the UK is becoming (has already become) a land where no one accepts responsibility for themselves. Who's at fault here? The vehicle owners; it's entirely their own responsibility but as ever, they look for someone to point the finger of blame at.
Serves you right- perhaps next year you won't be so stupid.
Part Time Plod
A burd Dibble who was off sick for an average of 120 days a year has resigned, after she took a total of 848 days off sick from her job at Belgravia Plod shop.
She claimed that racist abuse from Met Fuzz colleagues made her unwell and was signed off with depression and stress, but she did not take her case to an employment tribunal and disciplinary proceedings were eventually launched against her.
It was found that she had worked 327 days out of potential 1 175 since 2006.
What was that about Brits taking the most duvet days (see archives recently)? No wonder, if this is how bosses allow such appalling behaviour to continue.
She claimed that racist abuse from Met Fuzz colleagues made her unwell and was signed off with depression and stress, but she did not take her case to an employment tribunal and disciplinary proceedings were eventually launched against her.
It was found that she had worked 327 days out of potential 1 175 since 2006.
What was that about Brits taking the most duvet days (see archives recently)? No wonder, if this is how bosses allow such appalling behaviour to continue.
Keystone Koppen
A woman in Germany who was attacked by a pit bull dog, managed to escaped without serious injury- until the Bulls attending the attack accidentally shot her.
Die Rozzers had apparently been called to the incident in Berlin when neighbours heard the cried of a resident who was being bitten on her leg by the dog, but by the time they arrived the woman was already back in her own apartment. They tried to take the dog but couldn't subdue it and so they took the decision to shoot it.
One bullet ricocheted hitting a responding Dibble, while another bullet smashed through the apartment and hit the woman who'd just been savaged.
The unlucky woman was taken to hospital and received treatment for minor injuries.
German efficiency, eh? :o)
Die Rozzers had apparently been called to the incident in Berlin when neighbours heard the cried of a resident who was being bitten on her leg by the dog, but by the time they arrived the woman was already back in her own apartment. They tried to take the dog but couldn't subdue it and so they took the decision to shoot it.
One bullet ricocheted hitting a responding Dibble, while another bullet smashed through the apartment and hit the woman who'd just been savaged.
The unlucky woman was taken to hospital and received treatment for minor injuries.
German efficiency, eh? :o)
Tripod
Three legged dogs suffer less arthritis than their four-legged brethren.
I'd love to know their interview techniques.
I'd love to know their interview techniques.
Birth Certificate for Hairpiece
President Obama this morning launched an attack on gaudy television monstrosity Donald Trump, by asking for documentary evidence that his hair is both real, and of American origin.
As Trump continued to question the authenticity of Obama’s presidential status by suggesting he’s not clever enough to be in the White House, the President issued a stinging rebuke of his own.
Obama told the White House press corp, “If Donald Trump truly has nothing to hide, then let him show the public exactly what sits atop his head.”
“Anyone considering running for president must be open to the sort follicular scrutiny that I am subjecting him to.”
“There are a growing number of Americans that believe Donald Trump’s hair originated in an Eastern European laboratory, and it is up to him to convince us otherwise.”
“That hair is not American, I don’t mind if it’s Canadian or British or whatever. What concerns me most is that it may not even be human.”
Donald Trump has responded the accusation, stating that any suggestion his hair is un-American is entirely absurd.
Trump told reporters, “This is ridiculous. My hair is as American as I am, if not more so. Most people have hair that is the genetic result of the efforts of just two Americans – at most – but mine is the result of teams of Americans and many years of research.”
Obama insisted words were meaningless, and that documentary evidence would be needed before the country could truly believe his hair is American.
The President continued, “I’m willing to forget about this whole issue if Mr Trump just shows a receipt to prove that the wig was bought on American soil and was produced from American livestock.”
“And of course, it would ease a lot of our concerns if it has the authenticity of the hallmark that says ‘US of Toupée’.”
Most Americans, however, remain less convinced of whereabouts of their President’s birthplace than they are of the whereabouts of Donald Trump’s hairline.
NT
One For Wifey- Part Two
The imminent launch of MTV’s reality entertainment show ‘Geordie Shore’ looks set to re-open the Eugenics debate at dinner tables across the country.
The programme will follow the adventures of several image-obsessed borderline simpletons as they go about their daily lives in the cosmopolitan metropolis that is Newcastle Upon Tyne.
With promotional materials already beginning to surface, many television owners have pleaded with the nation’s lawmakers for a free and open debate on the potential benefits of eugenics.
One pro-eugenics supporters told us, “I’m not saying that forcefully removing some people from the gene pool is always a good thing, but even a cursory glance at the promotional trailers for this show would convince anyone that these people should never, ever be allowed to replicate themselves.”
“A small trial in the north-east could prove the benefits quite quickly.”
“We could tell the men we’re giving them penis enlargements, they’d go for that, definitely. A little snip and we’re all done. No more Geordie Shore babies.”
MTV spokesperson Shane Williams told us, “We’re excited about the launch, definitely. With the likes of My Sweet 16 and Teen Mom, MTV is committed to ensuring international fame for the most morally reprehensible human beings that we can find.”
“And let me say this, I really think that we’ve outdone ourselves this time.”
“Think The Only Way is Essex, but without all the cultural refinement.”
The Geordie Shore effect is already rippling through police society, with previously liberal middle-classes calling for an urgent eugenics review.
Office worker Jane Matthews told us, “Every fibre of my being screams that tinkering with the genetic make-up of our society is wrong, but that thirty second trailer convinced me that these people can not be allowed to pass on their genetic material. Humankind is at stake.”
“If we stand by and let Geordie Shore happen unhindered, the history books will not look upon us favourably, I assure you.”
NT
Are We Done Yet?
As reported cases of Royal Wedding fever continue to rise, the sane minority that remain in the world are demanding that a vaccination be developed to protect them from the debilitating disease.
The illness was originally only spread through contact with infected rags such as the Daily Mail and the Daily Express but in recent weeks the virus has mutated.
The newer, more contagious strain of Royal Wedding fever is now also transmitted by the airwaves used by television and radio, leading to calls for a vaccination to be developed and distributed before it is too late.
“We understand that people are rightly concerned,” leading virologist Dr Graeme Leonard told reporters, “as this looks like it could overtake Bieber Fever as the biggest pandemic since the Black Death.”
“At first we had great difficulty identifying the cause of the disease because it presents different kinds of dementia among different groups of people.”
“In some sad cases, it causes an extreme euphoria, with an overwhelming desire to sleep rough in Westminster and an intention to wave a flag at a couple of people who will not in all likelihood even notice that they are there.”
Dr Leonard continued, “But in other cases it can cause an extreme rage, similar to that seen in rabies victims,”
“Which can cause affected people to bite the head off anyone mentioning the words ‘royal’ or ‘wedding’, quite literally in many cases.”
Researchers are now certain that both conditions are caused by the same bacterium, known as the Middletonium, and hope to be distributing a vaccination before the entire planet loses its grip on reality in the next 24 hours.
In the meantime, people wishing to protect themselves from exposure to Royal Wedding Fever have been advised to lock themselves indoors, preferably in a custom-built panic room, located in Hull.
NT
The illness was originally only spread through contact with infected rags such as the Daily Mail and the Daily Express but in recent weeks the virus has mutated.
The newer, more contagious strain of Royal Wedding fever is now also transmitted by the airwaves used by television and radio, leading to calls for a vaccination to be developed and distributed before it is too late.
“We understand that people are rightly concerned,” leading virologist Dr Graeme Leonard told reporters, “as this looks like it could overtake Bieber Fever as the biggest pandemic since the Black Death.”
“At first we had great difficulty identifying the cause of the disease because it presents different kinds of dementia among different groups of people.”
“In some sad cases, it causes an extreme euphoria, with an overwhelming desire to sleep rough in Westminster and an intention to wave a flag at a couple of people who will not in all likelihood even notice that they are there.”
Dr Leonard continued, “But in other cases it can cause an extreme rage, similar to that seen in rabies victims,”
“Which can cause affected people to bite the head off anyone mentioning the words ‘royal’ or ‘wedding’, quite literally in many cases.”
Researchers are now certain that both conditions are caused by the same bacterium, known as the Middletonium, and hope to be distributing a vaccination before the entire planet loses its grip on reality in the next 24 hours.
In the meantime, people wishing to protect themselves from exposure to Royal Wedding Fever have been advised to lock themselves indoors, preferably in a custom-built panic room, located in Hull.
NT
How We Chortled
Checked the schedule on HBO for the filums on later during the day yesterday and fancied one of them due to start a bit later. Began watching something else to fill in the time and switched back a few minutes before it was due to start and it had already begun.
Then realised that I hadn't re-set the region after the lappie crashed (d'oh) and it had defaulted back to Singapore. Yip, we're an hour behind in Cambodia so I had missed the first hour...
Then realised that I hadn't re-set the region after the lappie crashed (d'oh) and it had defaulted back to Singapore. Yip, we're an hour behind in Cambodia so I had missed the first hour...
Want Fries With That?
79% of American college students believe that the French fought against the Native Americans in the French and Indian War.
New Hit Counter Site
Managed to find EZWebsiteCounter.com and the results are quite pleasing. Had to "guesstimate" our original total but based it on an average of 10 000 hits per month (we used to be in excess of that at some point) and taken the new month's date to fill in the rest.
Anyway, we're back in business. :o)
Anyway, we're back in business. :o)
Don't You Just Hate It?
When you've set something up and have been using it without fail for years and then all of a sudden, poof, it stops working. Our "hit counter(s)" have disappeared and when I've tried to find the site I took them from, it's an entirely new web page and the original is no longer listed. Why do they do that?
Aircraft Detection Before Radar.
Fascinating pictures of old time acoustic hearing aids- how air attacks were detected before radar. Cheers, Au P.
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