Monday, February 28, 2011
Newbies Down
In 2008, the number of people who first accessed the internet decreased for the first time ever.
Top Chicks
They are some of the most influential women the world has seen, and now you can vote for your favourite. Together with the Greater London Authority and the Press Association, Metro is staging an exhibition at London’s City Hall to celebrate the centenary of International Women’s Day.
Millicent Fawcett
Suffragette instrumental in winning vote for women
Emmeline Pankhurst
Suffragette seen as one of key 20th century people
Virginia Woolf
Author and member of London’s Bloomsbury Set
Claudia Jones
Journalist and founder of the Notting Hill Carnival
Cicely Saunders
Founded the world’s first purpose-built hospice
Rosalind Franklin
Biophysicist who helped discover structure of DNA
Margaret Thatcher
First female prime minister, led Britain from 1979 to 1990
Betty Boothroyd
First, and so far only, female speaker of the Commons
Elizabeth Butler-Sloss
Britain’s first female Lord Justice of Appeal
Judi Dench
Award-winning film, stage and TV actress
Barbara Windsor
Actress famous for Carry On films and TV’s EastEnders
Vivienne Westwood
Designer who brought punk and new wave into mainstream
Ruth Lea
Economist who has also worked in the civil service and the media
Twiggy
Model face of the 1960s who still fronts M&S advertising today
Sally Hamwee
First female chair of the London Assembly and now life peer
Moira Stuart
First Afro-Caribbean newsreader on British TV, now on Radio 2
Zaha Hadid
Architect behind the London 2012 Aquatics Centre
Diane Abbott
First black woman to be elected to the House of Commons
Angela Sarkis
Former chief executive of the Nurture Group Network and adviser to the Ascension Trust
Andrea Levy
Author who won widespread critical acclaim with awardwinning novel Small Island in 2004
Patricia Scotland
First black female QC and served in several ministerial posts including attorney general
Clara Furse
First female chief executive of the London Stock Exchange in 2001 where she stayed until 2009
Rose Hudson-Wilkin
Ordained a deacon in 1991 and priest in 1994. Made a chaplain to the Queen in 2007
Diana, Princess of Wales
Praised for her charity work on landmines and as president of Great Ormond St Hospital
Camila Batmanghelidjh
Founded Kids Company charity and named businesswoman of the year
Tracey Emin
Croydon-born artist most famous for her works Everyone I Have Ever Slept With 1963-1995 and My Bed
Justine Roberts
Founding partner and chief executive of Mumsnet, which has more than 1.2million visitors a month
Angela Hartnett
Michelin starred chef who was awarded an MBE in 2007. Chef patron for Murano restaurant in Mayfair
Tanni Grey-Thompson
Wheelchair racer who has won 16 Paralympic and 13 world championship medals
Shami Chakrabarti
Director of human rights pressure group Liberty since 2003
Kelly Holmes
Won gold medals for 800m and 1500m at the 2004 Olympics. She advises the mayor of London
Martha Lane Fox
Co-founded Lastminute.com and is a board member of Channel 4, M&S and mydeco.com
Kate Moss
Croydon-born international model and fashion icon who has worked with leading designers
Marai Larasi
Director of Imkaan, which challenges violence against black, Asian, ethnic and refugee women
Zadie Smith
Published her first novel White Teeth in 2000 which won the Whitbread best first novel prize
Vanessa-Mae
Internationally known British violinist whose record sales worldwide are in excess of 10million
MIA
Singer-songwriter whose fusion of hiphop and r’n’b has conquered the charts in Britain and the US
Leona Lewis
X Factor winner whose single Bleeding Love reached the No.1 spot in more than 30 countries
Millicent Fawcett
Suffragette instrumental in winning vote for women
Emmeline Pankhurst
Suffragette seen as one of key 20th century people
Virginia Woolf
Author and member of London’s Bloomsbury Set
Claudia Jones
Journalist and founder of the Notting Hill Carnival
Cicely Saunders
Founded the world’s first purpose-built hospice
Rosalind Franklin
Biophysicist who helped discover structure of DNA
Margaret Thatcher
First female prime minister, led Britain from 1979 to 1990
Betty Boothroyd
First, and so far only, female speaker of the Commons
Elizabeth Butler-Sloss
Britain’s first female Lord Justice of Appeal
Judi Dench
Award-winning film, stage and TV actress
Barbara Windsor
Actress famous for Carry On films and TV’s EastEnders
Vivienne Westwood
Designer who brought punk and new wave into mainstream
Ruth Lea
Economist who has also worked in the civil service and the media
Twiggy
Model face of the 1960s who still fronts M&S advertising today
Sally Hamwee
First female chair of the London Assembly and now life peer
Moira Stuart
First Afro-Caribbean newsreader on British TV, now on Radio 2
Zaha Hadid
Architect behind the London 2012 Aquatics Centre
Diane Abbott
First black woman to be elected to the House of Commons
Angela Sarkis
Former chief executive of the Nurture Group Network and adviser to the Ascension Trust
Andrea Levy
Author who won widespread critical acclaim with awardwinning novel Small Island in 2004
Patricia Scotland
First black female QC and served in several ministerial posts including attorney general
Clara Furse
First female chief executive of the London Stock Exchange in 2001 where she stayed until 2009
Rose Hudson-Wilkin
Ordained a deacon in 1991 and priest in 1994. Made a chaplain to the Queen in 2007
Diana, Princess of Wales
Praised for her charity work on landmines and as president of Great Ormond St Hospital
Camila Batmanghelidjh
Founded Kids Company charity and named businesswoman of the year
Tracey Emin
Croydon-born artist most famous for her works Everyone I Have Ever Slept With 1963-1995 and My Bed
Justine Roberts
Founding partner and chief executive of Mumsnet, which has more than 1.2million visitors a month
Angela Hartnett
Michelin starred chef who was awarded an MBE in 2007. Chef patron for Murano restaurant in Mayfair
Tanni Grey-Thompson
Wheelchair racer who has won 16 Paralympic and 13 world championship medals
Shami Chakrabarti
Director of human rights pressure group Liberty since 2003
Kelly Holmes
Won gold medals for 800m and 1500m at the 2004 Olympics. She advises the mayor of London
Martha Lane Fox
Co-founded Lastminute.com and is a board member of Channel 4, M&S and mydeco.com
Kate Moss
Croydon-born international model and fashion icon who has worked with leading designers
Marai Larasi
Director of Imkaan, which challenges violence against black, Asian, ethnic and refugee women
Zadie Smith
Published her first novel White Teeth in 2000 which won the Whitbread best first novel prize
Vanessa-Mae
Internationally known British violinist whose record sales worldwide are in excess of 10million
MIA
Singer-songwriter whose fusion of hiphop and r’n’b has conquered the charts in Britain and the US
Leona Lewis
X Factor winner whose single Bleeding Love reached the No.1 spot in more than 30 countries
Lynne Owens and Cressida Dick
Lynne Owens became the youngest women at 41 to be appointed Assistant Commissioner of the Met in December. Cressida Dick is the first demale officer to be made Assistant Commissioner. The two women share a nomination
Lynne Owens became the youngest women at 41 to be appointed Assistant Commissioner of the Met in December. Cressida Dick is the first demale officer to be made Assistant Commissioner. The two women share a nomination
Dany Cotton
Won the Queen's Fire Service Medal in 2004 and as Deputy Assistant Commissioner of the London Fire Brigade is the most senior operational woman firefighter in the service.
Won the Queen's Fire Service Medal in 2004 and as Deputy Assistant Commissioner of the London Fire Brigade is the most senior operational woman firefighter in the service.
Follow the above link to cast your vote.
Monopoly Money & Homes
If you want to buy a home on one of the capital’s ten priciest streets, you’ll now have to find at least £5.95million, but the average home on the market in Britain costs about £235 000.
Victoria Road, in Kensington, west London, is the most expensive street in England and Wales, with the average property estimated to be worth £6 426 000. The sale of an £11million house in the road helped propel it to the top spot from tenth place last year.
Eight regions saw values rise from last year, with London’s average increasing most dramatically, from £5 545 900 to £5 946 580.
Anyone want to buy a gaff in Leigh? We can do a deal.
Victoria Road, in Kensington, west London, is the most expensive street in England and Wales, with the average property estimated to be worth £6 426 000. The sale of an £11million house in the road helped propel it to the top spot from tenth place last year.
Eight regions saw values rise from last year, with London’s average increasing most dramatically, from £5 545 900 to £5 946 580.
Anyone want to buy a gaff in Leigh? We can do a deal.
Fair's Fair
Young women drivers could see their car insurance premiums rise because of a European ruling to outlaw policies based on gender because they breach equality rights.
Why indeed should the burds have preferential treatment? By all means get rewarded for building up no claims bonuses, but that should based on driving skill not because you have a bigger bra size. Sometimes one has to pay fro equality, this is one such example.
The case was brought by Belgium’s consumer association and, if successful, will affect private medical insurance, pension schemes and annuities as well as car insurance. However, it is unlikely to come into effect immediately, with insurers given up to three years to make the changes.
Why indeed should the burds have preferential treatment? By all means get rewarded for building up no claims bonuses, but that should based on driving skill not because you have a bigger bra size. Sometimes one has to pay fro equality, this is one such example.
The case was brought by Belgium’s consumer association and, if successful, will affect private medical insurance, pension schemes and annuities as well as car insurance. However, it is unlikely to come into effect immediately, with insurers given up to three years to make the changes.
DNash News Briefly
Product placement to be best thing on British television for 20 years
Bafta buzz around close-up of mayonnaise jar.
Councils spend millions on 'how to swerve around potholes' leaflets
Drivers could be forced to fix potholes themselves using paper maché made from council leaflets.
Filler
The average length of special features on DVDs has increased by thirty-one minutes in the past six years.
And I bet that most people still don't watch the extras.
And I bet that most people still don't watch the extras.
On-Line Flirting
The Greek city of Athens has been named as the world's most flirtatious city- when it comes to on-line flirting. The second most flirtatious city, according to the study by Badoo.com, was found to be Moscow, followed by Kuwait City.
Apparently people in Athens initiate almost twice as many on-line flirtations per month as people in Rio, Warsaw or Prague. Other flirtatious world cities include Rome (8th), Madrid (31st), Paris (38th), London (57th), Berlin (79th), and New York (89th).
What a pointless survey- how do you even know which sex you are addressing? Nowadays everyone has a "user name" or alias and so there's no way of knowing.
Apparently people in Athens initiate almost twice as many on-line flirtations per month as people in Rio, Warsaw or Prague. Other flirtatious world cities include Rome (8th), Madrid (31st), Paris (38th), London (57th), Berlin (79th), and New York (89th).
What a pointless survey- how do you even know which sex you are addressing? Nowadays everyone has a "user name" or alias and so there's no way of knowing.
The Arse up for a Titus
Arsenal’s six year wait for silverware could finally be coming to an end after it was announced that defender Laurent Koscielny and goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny are in contention for an award for outstanding contribution to comedy.
The award, named ‘The Titus’ after comedy legend Titus Bramble, is likely to be awarded for their sterling efforts in securing Birmingham City their first major trophy in 48 years.
The club’s first Titus will be a boost to fans of the north London club who have been left disappointed with lack of trophies over recent seasons.
Previous winner of the award Emile Heskey, who won a Titus for his one man shows ‘Holy shit, what’s that round thing coming towards me’ and ‘Aaaaahhh, so I’m supposed to get it in the big netty thing’ feels Szczesny and Koscielny deserve the award.
Heskey told reporters, “They say that comedy is all about timing, and to do what they did in the last minute of a final at Wembley in a game that is live on TV, well, it doesn’t get any better than that.”
“I have to take my hat off to them. Well, I would do, if I didn’t keep missing every time I reached for it.”
The performance has already received praise from critics with one gushing “If you only see one defensive mix up this year, then make sure it’s this one”, and “I’m still laughing about it now”.
Another wrote, “The Arsenal duo displayed the sort of comedic rapport you simply can’t teach, and at such a young age they could be delighting football fans around the country for many years to come.”
Obafemi Martins was also quick to heap praise on the duo, saying “They were so easy to work with and I can’t tell you how much I’d love to work with them again.”
NT.
The award, named ‘The Titus’ after comedy legend Titus Bramble, is likely to be awarded for their sterling efforts in securing Birmingham City their first major trophy in 48 years.
The club’s first Titus will be a boost to fans of the north London club who have been left disappointed with lack of trophies over recent seasons.
Previous winner of the award Emile Heskey, who won a Titus for his one man shows ‘Holy shit, what’s that round thing coming towards me’ and ‘Aaaaahhh, so I’m supposed to get it in the big netty thing’ feels Szczesny and Koscielny deserve the award.
Heskey told reporters, “They say that comedy is all about timing, and to do what they did in the last minute of a final at Wembley in a game that is live on TV, well, it doesn’t get any better than that.”
“I have to take my hat off to them. Well, I would do, if I didn’t keep missing every time I reached for it.”
The performance has already received praise from critics with one gushing “If you only see one defensive mix up this year, then make sure it’s this one”, and “I’m still laughing about it now”.
Another wrote, “The Arsenal duo displayed the sort of comedic rapport you simply can’t teach, and at such a young age they could be delighting football fans around the country for many years to come.”
Obafemi Martins was also quick to heap praise on the duo, saying “They were so easy to work with and I can’t tell you how much I’d love to work with them again.”
NT.
Oscars With NT
The world’s media has once again paid tribute to those grown adults who have proven themselves to be the best at playing that game most children grow out of by the time they’re ten.
At a lavish ceremony in Hollywood experts celebrated those people who pretend to be other people by dressing up, changing their hairstyle and sometimes doing an accent.
The top awards went to Colin Firth who got to dress up like a King for a bit and to pretend like he couldn’t talk properly, and Natalie Portman who got to dress up and pretend to be a ballerina, something she’s not been able to do since she was six.
Firth said, “It’s a great honour to be recognised for my ability to wear a series of hats and to do my Ronnie Barker Arkright impression.”
Portman began her speech by saying, “Playing make believe as a ballerina is every small girl’s dream, until they get to about nine. So this is for all the girls out there who are eight or younger.”
Experts have claimed this year’s winners are probably the best for at least twelve months, with Vanity Fair correspondent Michael Williams saying, “I find it difficult to comprehend how grown men and women can be so incredibly good at doing that thing I used to do when I was seven.”
Oscars 2011
Highlights of this year’s ceremony included:
- Christian Bale threatening to go all ‘Charlie Sheen’ on the Academy’s ass, before realising he’d actually won
- James Franco insisting he would cut off his arm ‘for realsies’ if he didn’t get the best actor award for 127 hours
- Kevin Spacey starting the slow hand clap during the tedious foreign film bit
- Nicole Kidman insisting she deserves an Oscar for spending ten years pretending to be in a heterosexual relationship with Tom Cruise
- Aaron Sorkin using his best screenplay speech to tell everyone he prefers Twitter
- Leonardo Di Caprio getting drunk and telling anyone who would listen, “I was asleep the whole time!”
NT TV
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| 18:00 Monday – Meal or no Meal 15 boxes, one meal! Eating disorder gameshow hosted by Noel Edmonds, who resembles a man holding a very deep and very dark secret. Channel 4 [contains Noel Edmonds] 21:00 Sunday – Top Whore Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and the other one racially abuse and then have sex with an Italian prostitute who claims to be able to take any man from flop to pop in less than ten seconds. This weeks Star on a Reasonably Priced Prostitute is Hugh Grant. BBC 2 [frequent poor similes] 20:00 Wednesday – Animal Hospital Kitchen Rolf Harris and Marco Pierre White team up to help families get over the loss of a much loved pet. This week the Tomlinson’s from Essex face up to the death of Tipsy, their pet cat. “I was worried he’d be a bit stringy,” explains Mr. Tomlinson, “but Marco’s slow cooking method has left him deliciously tender. The Children loved it.” ITV 3 [Australians] 21:00 Thursday – Causality, Aristotle, and Anal Sex Former Eastenders stars Gary and Minty look into the history of determinism, predeterminism and other related philosophies, and how they affect a young couple from Gateshead’s decision to engage in a bit of bum play. Channel 5 [Tenuous segues throughout] 16:00 Friday – Joseph Gerbils New animated kids show from the makers of Wombat 18. Join the fun as the loveable furry Reich Minister of Propaganda enforces Nazi Party ideology with hilarious results. CBeebies [possible adult themes] 20:00 Saturday – Film Choice: Zombie Sheep Bummers Horror shocker based on Lucio Fulci’s 1979 horror classic Zombie Flesh Eaters, but instead of eating flesh the zombies bum sheep. Sky Movies 3 [No animals hurt during filming] 20:00 Wednesday – Ray Mears’ Narnian Survival Survival expert Ray Mears travels to Narnia to investigate the reality of surviving in it’s wintry terrain. There are tense scenes as Mears has to fend off attacks from Lions and face up to killing and eating his native Beaver guide. Bravo [Not that sort of beaver eating] | 19:30 Tuesday – Don’t Trust Anyone! Consumer advice show that uncovers how absolutely everyone on the planet will stop at nothing to get their hands on your money. This week Gloria Hunniford uncovers how companies use some of the money from products paid for by you to pay their staff wages. Angela Rippon reveals how life assurance policies only pay out if you actually die, and Jenny Bond looks at the widespread practice of companies charging more money for superior products. BBC 1 [Angry women throughout] 20:00 Thursday – FEATURED CHANNEL: Fascist Chat TV Single? Female? Looking for a guy who shares your authoritarian nationalist ideology? If the answer is yes then this new channel could be just what you’re looking for. The channel puts you in touch with fascist fellas and could lead to a lifetime of happiness and/or hate. This weeks featured fellas are prime BNP beefcake Naughty Nick G, who promises to get your pulse racing, although this might be as result of one of his henchman chasing you with a baseball bat, and Klu Klux Hunk Bubba T who says he’ll set your heart on fire, and if you’re black probably your house aswell. Fascist TV [Premium rate numbers used] 18:00 Saturday – Dr Me The self obsessed time traveller travels through time and has sex with himself while he watches, before telling himself how good he was. BBC One [unconvincing special effects] 21:00 Wednesday – Bodyshock Special: The Man With a Toilet Seat for a Head Extraordinary story of 28 year old Mark Maclaughlin who was born with a toilet seat for a head. “I’m a normal human being just like anyone else, albeit one with a toilet seat instead of a head” Channel 4 [disturbing bathroom scenes] 21:00 Sunday – Kerry Katona: Gone Back to Iceland Former face of Iceland supermarkets Kerry Katona returns to her ex-employers looking for work, this time as a checkout girl. It’s a real test of endurance for customers as they are forced to listen to her tale of how it’s everyone else’s fault that she shoved enough cocaine up her nose to fund a successful record label. Channel 4 [Northern accent throughout] |
Air Gun
Reports that Ashley Cole successfully shot work experience student Tom Cowan from about six yards out have filled the Chelsea dressing room with excitement.
Cole, 30, who holds the title as England’s most capped full back, was immediately called back to the training ground by Carlos Ancelotti to work with troubled striker Fernando Torres.
“The news that Ashley hit the target from five foot, accidental or not, filled me with joy,” the Italian said.
“At the moment Fernando is having trouble from about just about every distance so Ashley could be the perfect man to help him practise his shooting.”
Torres, who so far in his Chelsea career has looked like the biggest waste of £50m since the last Eddie Murphy film, has yet to find the net for Chelsea and looks even more fed up than he did trudging around the Premier League’s mid-table for Liverpool.
Cowan, when quizzed on the lent his support to Cole. “I didn’t expect him to hit me from there, and I was able to put into practise what I’d already learnt from Didier Drogba in the way I went to the floor.”
It’s understood no action will be taken against Cole as the entire Chelsea squad surrounded the attending police officer, reassuring him that nothing that happened and insisting he check with the guy stood at the sidelines who saw everything.
Football fan Mike Williams said, “I’ll be honest, when I heard Ashley Cole had been involved in a shooting incident I got quite excited, but this is worst possible outcome I could have imagined.”
NT.
Cole, 30, who holds the title as England’s most capped full back, was immediately called back to the training ground by Carlos Ancelotti to work with troubled striker Fernando Torres.
“The news that Ashley hit the target from five foot, accidental or not, filled me with joy,” the Italian said.
“At the moment Fernando is having trouble from about just about every distance so Ashley could be the perfect man to help him practise his shooting.”
Torres, who so far in his Chelsea career has looked like the biggest waste of £50m since the last Eddie Murphy film, has yet to find the net for Chelsea and looks even more fed up than he did trudging around the Premier League’s mid-table for Liverpool.
Cowan, when quizzed on the lent his support to Cole. “I didn’t expect him to hit me from there, and I was able to put into practise what I’d already learnt from Didier Drogba in the way I went to the floor.”
It’s understood no action will be taken against Cole as the entire Chelsea squad surrounded the attending police officer, reassuring him that nothing that happened and insisting he check with the guy stood at the sidelines who saw everything.
Football fan Mike Williams said, “I’ll be honest, when I heard Ashley Cole had been involved in a shooting incident I got quite excited, but this is worst possible outcome I could have imagined.”
NT.
PP in Ads?
Following the relaxation of Ofcom’s product placement rules, ITV is the first broadcaster to outline plans to fill the brief gaps between their product placements with story arcs and dramatic narratives.
ITV has announced a schedule of what they are calling ‘programmes’ which will be designed to provide a more compelling platform from which to sell you things you don’t need for sums you can’t afford.
An ITV executive told us, “Our research shows that to stop people switching over from our product placements, we need to include some sort of dramatic hook, whether that’s a plucky poor person holding a microphone whilst being berated by a rich person, or a rich person being forced to eat something a poor person would eat, whilst in a jungle setting.”
“Sure, these so-called ‘programmes’ don’t generate any revenue as such, but we feel they might make gullible people continue to watch our channel until the next product placement comes along.”
“We thought long and hard about showing repeated clips of car crashes instead, as people always appear glued to these – but we realised there aren’t enough of them to fill the gaps in our extensive schedule of product placements.”
“So until there is, we’ll try these programme things instead.”
ITV flagship product placement device This Morning was the first to try including elements that might constitute a ‘programme’, broadcasting sofa-based conversations with rich people designed to placate home-based poor people keen to see if something else is on.
“So far the results have been good,” said ITV spokesperson Mike Lee.
“When combined with the new longer six minute advert breaks, there are barely a few seconds in every hour of television in which we can’t bombard viewers with marketing messages.”
“Oh, do you want to buy a new Nescafe Docle Gusto coffee maker? I’m legally obliged to ask you.”
NT.
Heil Nowt
A Canadian tourist was standing on the steps of the German parliament building (Reichstag) with his right arm raised in a Hitler salute, as his girlfriend took a photo of him.
German Bulls arrived within seconds, handcuffed him and took the memory card of the camera. He risked being formally charged with making a forbidden gesture, an offence for which he could have been jailed for up to six months.
However, it is understood he will be let off with a fine and a warning and he was freed after several hours in police custody after paying bail money.
Hundreds of tourists every year make the mistake of thinking that "Monty Pythonesque" jokes about Hitler and his henchmen, including giving his infamous raised-arm salute, are acceptable when visiting Germany. It's not.
Any gestures of the old Nazi regime, or the displaying of any of its symbols, is a s serious crime in modern-day Germany. Three years ago a British businessman at Cologne airport gave the salute to a car hire official- and was arrested immediately.
It's not big, it's not clever and you will get nicked.
2011 Razzie Award Winners:
Worst Picture
The Last Airbender
Worst Actor
Ashton Kutcher, Killers and Valentine's Day
Worst Actress
Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon Sex and the City 2
Worst Supporting Actress
Jessica Alba, The Killer Inside Me, Little Fockers, Machete and Valentine's Day
Worst Supporting Actor
Jackson Rathbone, The Last Airbender, Eclipse
Worst Eye-Gouging Mis-Use of 3-D
The Last Airbender
Worst Screen Couple/Screen Ensemble
The entire cast of Sex and the City 2
Worst Director
M. Night Shyamalan, The Last Airbender
Worst Screenplay
The Last Airbender, written by M. Night Shyamalan
Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel
Sex and the City 2
Note for Gmail Users
If you are on Gmail, chances are your emails, chat history, labels, folders and all personal settings may have vanished into thin air. The blame is on some potent bug.
Many of these users saw Gmail’s welcome messages as if the account has been just created when they logged on. Close to 500 000 people are said to have experienced the bug, and though engineers at Gmail labs had swung into action immediately, undertaking a good amount of troubleshooting, the damage has already been done.
According to the company, the Google Mail service has already been restored for some users. Google has posted on their Apps dashboard that:
“We expect a resolution for all users in the near future. Please note this time frame is an estimate and may change. This issue affects less than 0.08% of the Google Mail user base. Google engineers are working to restore full access. Affected users will be temporarily unable to sign in while we repair their accounts”.
The troubleshooting was kicked off as soon as Gmail help forums were flooded with complaints in this regard. Many users said that their mails, labels and contacts just disappeared when they refreshed their account settings. We just hope the troubleshooting exercise that Google is currently pursuing will restore all your mails.
From here.
Many of these users saw Gmail’s welcome messages as if the account has been just created when they logged on. Close to 500 000 people are said to have experienced the bug, and though engineers at Gmail labs had swung into action immediately, undertaking a good amount of troubleshooting, the damage has already been done.
According to the company, the Google Mail service has already been restored for some users. Google has posted on their Apps dashboard that:
The troubleshooting was kicked off as soon as Gmail help forums were flooded with complaints in this regard. Many users said that their mails, labels and contacts just disappeared when they refreshed their account settings. We just hope the troubleshooting exercise that Google is currently pursuing will restore all your mails.
From here.
Out of the Park
A modern foot ball (manufactured after 1992) will be kicked an average of 17 143 times before being discarded.
More Agreement
This time with guyism's piece:
There are few things worse for a movie fan than sitting down to enjoy a flick only to have it be torpedoed by some obnoxious jackass of a character. Sometimes, tragically, they ruin movies that could have been great. Sometimes, they are just the worst part about an already flawed film. A few of them only taint the scenes in which they appear, while others are so prominent that they manage to ruin the whole damn thing. We here at Guyism have decided to take a look at the worst of the worst, and after much careful consideration, a lot of tears, occasional vomiting and even some mild bloodshed, we bring to you these nine characters who have ruined movies.
9 Mutt Williams – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
PLAYED BY: SHIA LABEOUF
It would seem that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg’s grand plan to offset the old man stink of the venerable Harrison Ford in the latest Indiana Jones flick was to introduce a younger version of our hero in the form of a laughably stereotypical greaser named Mutt Williams complete with motorcycle and switchblade. To make matters worse, they actually scripted Mutt to be a pain in the ass “rebel” who verbally crapped on Indy. Look, there are some things you just don’t do and sass Dr. Jones is one of them. It was clear that they were attempting a sort of passing of the torch between Indy and Mutt, but all it did was highlight that there is only one Indiana Jones and he’s an old man with an obnoxious bastard son. Just depressing.
8 Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City
PLAYED BY: SARAH JESSICA PARKER
After several seasons as a hit show on HBO, Sex and the City was taken to the big screen where for the first time the world was exposed to a giant sized version of the most annoying woman in the world, Carrie Bradshaw, who managed to reinforce all of the worst stereotypes about modern women (I need a man, OMG shoes!) They should have included having to listen to her yammer on like some sort hyper-neurotic desperate She-Bot -– call it the Insecurobot 9000 -– as a war crime and everyone involved should have been tried in international court. No man –- or woman -– should have to sit through that. It is telling that the big romantic gesture in the film is the building of a walk in closet for the heroine by Mr. Big, who probably would have been better off spending the money on doing heroin in a closet. At least the needle wouldn’t make him listen to shallow gibberish about Manolo Blahniks for hours.
7 The Ewoks – Return of the Jedi
PLAYED BY: AN ASSORTMENT OF MIDGETS IN FURRY SUITS
George Lucas has a long, sordid history of creating weird characters — puppet gurus, robots who behave like a gay, married version of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, giant Bigfoot looking freaks, etc. –- but one of his weirdest decisions was to create the Ewoks, a band of lovable little furry midgets whose sole role seemed to be to sell lunchboxes and coloring books to impressionable kids. That’s all fine, but what rankled a lot of fans of the Star Wars series was Lucas’ decision to give the Ewoks such a pivotal role in the climactic battle of the whole series. There was just something too absurd about the sight of freaky little teddy bears beating the hell out of the fearsome Empire’s notorious storm troopers using only rocks and a few strategically placed logs. Besides, those little dudes were creepy as hell. Sure, it might seem fun as a kid to imagine your stuffed animals coming to life, but if that happened in real life, you would have cried for your mommy and then sat in the corner sucking your thumb while she either set them all on fire or called in a priest to perform an exorcism.
6 Edward Cullen/Bella Swan – Twilight
PLAYED BY: ROBERT PATTINSON AND KRISTEN STEWART
Once upon a time, vampires were actually pretty cool. I know that’s hard to believe given the influx of glittery emo drama queens more likely to sob into their diaries than to make with the people-eating, but it’s true. Sadly, we have the character of Edward Cullen to thank for this change. But it’s not just him. Oh no. Thanks to his clingy, obsessed, charisma challenged human lover, Bella, a whole generation of girls has grown up believing that there is something romantic and healthy about a pair of codependent depressed bores. Perhaps I’m being unfair. After all, they have a love built on… uh… well, you tell me. After all, what’s not to love about pale, mopey misery addicts who look like they’re perpetually stoned? By the way, that description could be applied to both Edward and Bella. Oh well, at least they aren’t George Lucas characters. Otherwise they’d probably both be made out of fur and CGI and talk with some sort of vague Jamaican accent. So I guess they’ve got that going for them.
5 Mr. Freeze – Batman and Robin
PLAYED BY: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
I probably could have included anything from this movie in this spot, including the nipples on the Batsuit, but the most cringe inducing aspect of the movie had to be Arnold Schwarzenegger’s turn as Mr. Freeze, which was so laughably campy that it helped to torpedo the whole franchise, which had to be shelved before it was resurrected and rebooted by Christopher Nolan almost a decade later. It wasn’t just the ridiculous puns (Everybody chill!) or Arnold mushmouthing his way through a role as a scientist turned lunatic or the fact that he looked like Mr. Clean if Mr. Clean had been assimilated by the Borg. It was all of those things which combined to create one memorably awful character. There is camp and then there is crap. Arnold and the non-visionaries behind Batman and Robin tried to straddle that line but ended up falling into the sewer where they washed away in a river of turds. As a result, the whole franchise ended up being put on ice. (Groan.)
4 The Genie – Aladdin
PLAYED BY: THE VOICE OF ROBIN WILLIAMS
Robin Williams’ seemingly coked up Genie didn’t exactly ruin Aladdin. In fact, it was a huge hit. But the reason why this character is on this list is because it inspired an epic run of obnoxious characters and children’s films which have transformed the world of animated movies from a land of imagination to a land of noisy fart jokes and screaming banshee characters whose very voices are enough to cause massive bleeding from the ears and severe brain degradation. We’ve all heard the cliché – fun for the kids and the adults. If that kind of crap is your idea of fun as an adult, then children should never even be in the equation for you. Now, I’m not advocating forced sterilization, but then again, I’m not not advocating it either. Whose idea was it to hold up Robin frickin’ Williams as a behavioral model for today’s kids? I mean, this is why kids all end up as screaming ADD riddled monsters with the attention span of a fruit fly. Screw you, Robin Williams and your idiot genie. Also, get off my lawn!
3 Anakin Skywalker – Star Wars Episodes I-III
PLAYED BY: JAKE LLOYD AND HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
We meet again, George Lucas. Sadly for George, the Ewoks weren’t the worst thing he inflicted on society. Instead, he decided to take Darth Vader, the ultimate badass of the universe, and turn him into a mewling, whiny little pansy. Good idea! At first, it was hoped that the whiny brat named Anakin was so unbearable simply because child actor Jake Lloyd wasn’t any damn good. But then Hayden Christensen arrived on the scene and suddenly Anakin went from brat to obnoxious little jackass incapable of showing any human emotion other than petulance. Sure, maybe that helps to explain why he eventually morphed into Darth Vader, but it’s tough to feel for a character who spends all of his time throwing hissy-fits and treating all his friends like crap, and really, wasn’t that kind of the point? We’re supposed to think of Anakin’s transition to Vader as a tragic moment, but when he finally puts on the suit and mask, all you can really think is “Finally, that little bastard is gone.”
2 Jesus – The Passion of the Christ
PLAYED BY: JIM CAVIEZEL
I don’t know about you, but I found it kind of hard to root for an action hero like Jesus when all he did was sit there and get beat on for a couple of hours. I mean, where was the big comeback? James Bond gets tortured and then he comes back and kills the bad guy, drinks a martini, bones the dude’s girl and makes a few quips. Where was the scene where Jesus showed up at Pontius Pilate’s door in a tailored suit with a Walther PPK in his hand and a lady on his arm? Instead he just hung on that cross and bled. I thought Mel Gibson understood how to make an action movie. After all, Martin Riggs wouldn’t have just taken that abuse. Murtaugh would have cut him down and then they would have run wild on the bad guys while an Eric Clapton song played in the background. I guess I just assumed that Mel would have Judas or Peter do the same for Jesus. I guess I was wrong.
1 Jar-Jar Binks – Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
PLAYED BY: A COMBINATION OF THE VOICE OF AHMED BEST, CGI AND A GENERATION’S DELICIOUS TEARS
I swear I’m not trying to pick on George Lucas, but come on, really, George? It is like the man is involved in some sort of bizarre bet to see how much ridiculous and awful crap he can get away with before the fanboys revolt. Well, this is the one that did it. It’s safe to say that The Phantom Menace was the most eagerly anticipated movie in history. When it was over, the only thing anyone could talk about was the ridiculous Jar-Jar Binks, a gangly moron with a vaguely Jamaican accent who stumbled through the film like some sort of drunken manifestation of every flaw George Lucas has as a filmmaker. It’s one thing to have a comic sidekick aimed at children. It’s another thing to create a character who even the dimmest child would want to see fed to the Sarlac. Nobody liked Jar-Jar Binks. He is the perfect storm of crappy character, combining the worst traits of the Ewoks with the obnoxious buffoonery of the Robin Williams inspired modern cartoon character. There might be worse characters created in the future, but it’s hard to imagine. And that’s why Jar-Jar Binks is the obvious and only choice for number one on this dubious list.
There are few things worse for a movie fan than sitting down to enjoy a flick only to have it be torpedoed by some obnoxious jackass of a character. Sometimes, tragically, they ruin movies that could have been great. Sometimes, they are just the worst part about an already flawed film. A few of them only taint the scenes in which they appear, while others are so prominent that they manage to ruin the whole damn thing. We here at Guyism have decided to take a look at the worst of the worst, and after much careful consideration, a lot of tears, occasional vomiting and even some mild bloodshed, we bring to you these nine characters who have ruined movies.
9 Mutt Williams – Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
PLAYED BY: SHIA LABEOUF
It would seem that George Lucas and Steven Spielberg’s grand plan to offset the old man stink of the venerable Harrison Ford in the latest Indiana Jones flick was to introduce a younger version of our hero in the form of a laughably stereotypical greaser named Mutt Williams complete with motorcycle and switchblade. To make matters worse, they actually scripted Mutt to be a pain in the ass “rebel” who verbally crapped on Indy. Look, there are some things you just don’t do and sass Dr. Jones is one of them. It was clear that they were attempting a sort of passing of the torch between Indy and Mutt, but all it did was highlight that there is only one Indiana Jones and he’s an old man with an obnoxious bastard son. Just depressing.
8 Carrie Bradshaw – Sex and the City
PLAYED BY: SARAH JESSICA PARKER
After several seasons as a hit show on HBO, Sex and the City was taken to the big screen where for the first time the world was exposed to a giant sized version of the most annoying woman in the world, Carrie Bradshaw, who managed to reinforce all of the worst stereotypes about modern women (I need a man, OMG shoes!) They should have included having to listen to her yammer on like some sort hyper-neurotic desperate She-Bot -– call it the Insecurobot 9000 -– as a war crime and everyone involved should have been tried in international court. No man –- or woman -– should have to sit through that. It is telling that the big romantic gesture in the film is the building of a walk in closet for the heroine by Mr. Big, who probably would have been better off spending the money on doing heroin in a closet. At least the needle wouldn’t make him listen to shallow gibberish about Manolo Blahniks for hours.
7 The Ewoks – Return of the Jedi
PLAYED BY: AN ASSORTMENT OF MIDGETS IN FURRY SUITS
George Lucas has a long, sordid history of creating weird characters — puppet gurus, robots who behave like a gay, married version of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, giant Bigfoot looking freaks, etc. –- but one of his weirdest decisions was to create the Ewoks, a band of lovable little furry midgets whose sole role seemed to be to sell lunchboxes and coloring books to impressionable kids. That’s all fine, but what rankled a lot of fans of the Star Wars series was Lucas’ decision to give the Ewoks such a pivotal role in the climactic battle of the whole series. There was just something too absurd about the sight of freaky little teddy bears beating the hell out of the fearsome Empire’s notorious storm troopers using only rocks and a few strategically placed logs. Besides, those little dudes were creepy as hell. Sure, it might seem fun as a kid to imagine your stuffed animals coming to life, but if that happened in real life, you would have cried for your mommy and then sat in the corner sucking your thumb while she either set them all on fire or called in a priest to perform an exorcism.
6 Edward Cullen/Bella Swan – Twilight
PLAYED BY: ROBERT PATTINSON AND KRISTEN STEWART
Once upon a time, vampires were actually pretty cool. I know that’s hard to believe given the influx of glittery emo drama queens more likely to sob into their diaries than to make with the people-eating, but it’s true. Sadly, we have the character of Edward Cullen to thank for this change. But it’s not just him. Oh no. Thanks to his clingy, obsessed, charisma challenged human lover, Bella, a whole generation of girls has grown up believing that there is something romantic and healthy about a pair of codependent depressed bores. Perhaps I’m being unfair. After all, they have a love built on… uh… well, you tell me. After all, what’s not to love about pale, mopey misery addicts who look like they’re perpetually stoned? By the way, that description could be applied to both Edward and Bella. Oh well, at least they aren’t George Lucas characters. Otherwise they’d probably both be made out of fur and CGI and talk with some sort of vague Jamaican accent. So I guess they’ve got that going for them.
5 Mr. Freeze – Batman and Robin
PLAYED BY: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
I probably could have included anything from this movie in this spot, including the nipples on the Batsuit, but the most cringe inducing aspect of the movie had to be Arnold Schwarzenegger’s turn as Mr. Freeze, which was so laughably campy that it helped to torpedo the whole franchise, which had to be shelved before it was resurrected and rebooted by Christopher Nolan almost a decade later. It wasn’t just the ridiculous puns (Everybody chill!) or Arnold mushmouthing his way through a role as a scientist turned lunatic or the fact that he looked like Mr. Clean if Mr. Clean had been assimilated by the Borg. It was all of those things which combined to create one memorably awful character. There is camp and then there is crap. Arnold and the non-visionaries behind Batman and Robin tried to straddle that line but ended up falling into the sewer where they washed away in a river of turds. As a result, the whole franchise ended up being put on ice. (Groan.)
4 The Genie – Aladdin
PLAYED BY: THE VOICE OF ROBIN WILLIAMS
Robin Williams’ seemingly coked up Genie didn’t exactly ruin Aladdin. In fact, it was a huge hit. But the reason why this character is on this list is because it inspired an epic run of obnoxious characters and children’s films which have transformed the world of animated movies from a land of imagination to a land of noisy fart jokes and screaming banshee characters whose very voices are enough to cause massive bleeding from the ears and severe brain degradation. We’ve all heard the cliché – fun for the kids and the adults. If that kind of crap is your idea of fun as an adult, then children should never even be in the equation for you. Now, I’m not advocating forced sterilization, but then again, I’m not not advocating it either. Whose idea was it to hold up Robin frickin’ Williams as a behavioral model for today’s kids? I mean, this is why kids all end up as screaming ADD riddled monsters with the attention span of a fruit fly. Screw you, Robin Williams and your idiot genie. Also, get off my lawn!
3 Anakin Skywalker – Star Wars Episodes I-III
PLAYED BY: JAKE LLOYD AND HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
We meet again, George Lucas. Sadly for George, the Ewoks weren’t the worst thing he inflicted on society. Instead, he decided to take Darth Vader, the ultimate badass of the universe, and turn him into a mewling, whiny little pansy. Good idea! At first, it was hoped that the whiny brat named Anakin was so unbearable simply because child actor Jake Lloyd wasn’t any damn good. But then Hayden Christensen arrived on the scene and suddenly Anakin went from brat to obnoxious little jackass incapable of showing any human emotion other than petulance. Sure, maybe that helps to explain why he eventually morphed into Darth Vader, but it’s tough to feel for a character who spends all of his time throwing hissy-fits and treating all his friends like crap, and really, wasn’t that kind of the point? We’re supposed to think of Anakin’s transition to Vader as a tragic moment, but when he finally puts on the suit and mask, all you can really think is “Finally, that little bastard is gone.”
2 Jesus – The Passion of the Christ
PLAYED BY: JIM CAVIEZEL
I don’t know about you, but I found it kind of hard to root for an action hero like Jesus when all he did was sit there and get beat on for a couple of hours. I mean, where was the big comeback? James Bond gets tortured and then he comes back and kills the bad guy, drinks a martini, bones the dude’s girl and makes a few quips. Where was the scene where Jesus showed up at Pontius Pilate’s door in a tailored suit with a Walther PPK in his hand and a lady on his arm? Instead he just hung on that cross and bled. I thought Mel Gibson understood how to make an action movie. After all, Martin Riggs wouldn’t have just taken that abuse. Murtaugh would have cut him down and then they would have run wild on the bad guys while an Eric Clapton song played in the background. I guess I just assumed that Mel would have Judas or Peter do the same for Jesus. I guess I was wrong.
1 Jar-Jar Binks – Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
PLAYED BY: A COMBINATION OF THE VOICE OF AHMED BEST, CGI AND A GENERATION’S DELICIOUS TEARS
I swear I’m not trying to pick on George Lucas, but come on, really, George? It is like the man is involved in some sort of bizarre bet to see how much ridiculous and awful crap he can get away with before the fanboys revolt. Well, this is the one that did it. It’s safe to say that The Phantom Menace was the most eagerly anticipated movie in history. When it was over, the only thing anyone could talk about was the ridiculous Jar-Jar Binks, a gangly moron with a vaguely Jamaican accent who stumbled through the film like some sort of drunken manifestation of every flaw George Lucas has as a filmmaker. It’s one thing to have a comic sidekick aimed at children. It’s another thing to create a character who even the dimmest child would want to see fed to the Sarlac. Nobody liked Jar-Jar Binks. He is the perfect storm of crappy character, combining the worst traits of the Ewoks with the obnoxious buffoonery of the Robin Williams inspired modern cartoon character. There might be worse characters created in the future, but it’s hard to imagine. And that’s why Jar-Jar Binks is the obvious and only choice for number one on this dubious list.
Paul Ince
I was never much of a fan of the angry little whinger, anyone who tell people what to call him (The Guv'nor, oh please) has got to be some kind of an arse. However, he seems to be maturing as a manager and I do agree with what he says here:
Didn't need the name drop at the end (I wonder how good his Italian is anyway) but bang on with his opinions.
More at the BBC.
"Back in my time, and I sound old now, it was black and white boots and that was it. Now you've got snoods, people wearing headphones when they are doing interviews, which I find disrespectful, pink boots, green boots, you name it they've got it, tights - they'll be wearing skirts next.
You try to bring your kids up the right way and I think somewhere down the line managers have got to come together and say: 'Listen if you are doing interviews, you don't wear headphones, no hats, no silly stuff like that'. I don't think it's the way football should be played. We should all, as a managers' union, come together and stop all this. It's getting ridiculous I'm afraid.
I'm sick and tired of seeing players, even when it's mild weather, wearing tights and these things [snoods] around their necks. It's not right. You see players coming off the buses with earphones around their ears. What ever happened to the art of conversation? You go into the changing room and they've all got their headphones on listening to their own bit of music. When I was at Inter Milan we used to have dinner together and talk together for two to three hours getting to know one another."
Didn't need the name drop at the end (I wonder how good his Italian is anyway) but bang on with his opinions.
More at the BBC.
Coming Spurs' Way
Not had much on since our pathetic defeat at Blackpool, but Tottenham face Wolves at Molineux on Sunday 6th March, before facing AC Milan in the Champions League on 9th March at White Hart Lane, having won the first-leg tie 1-0 at the San Siro.
We need results from both but I ain't holding my breath.
We need results from both but I ain't holding my breath.
'Cos I Like Cricket, OK?
From the Beeb:
Although neither was involved in the enthralling finish, Sachin Tendulkar and Andrew Strauss provided two of the most exquisite centuries seen in World Cups when India and England played out their tied match in Bangalore on Sunday.
Tendulkar (120 from 115 balls) started slower than Strauss (158 from 145 balls) before accelerating dramatically in the second half of his innings
With the help of the "wagon wheels" provided here, showing each player's scoring areas - and a graph comparing their rate of scoring - their innings can be analysed more closely.
Tendulkar's was his 47th one-day century, but only his second against England, and he began steadily as he crafted an imposing target for India's opponents.
With his partner, Virender Sehwag, burning a trail at the other end, the 37-year-old waited patiently until the ninth over, soon after the departure of Sehwag, to hit his first two boundaries.
He got them off consecutive balls, identifying one of his favoured areas behind square on the leg-side for neat deflections.
From that point on, he picked up the pace of his scoring, dominating the big partnership for the second wicket with Gautam Gambhir.
TENDULKAR wagon wheel: No fours at all in front of the wicket on the leg side from the Indian master, but there are four sixes in the same arc
Two sixes cames off Paul Collingwood, the first an eased, lofted straight drive, the second smashed with similar elegance over midwicket. And there were three sixes off Graeme Swann: two over long-on, the other a slog sweep over deep mid-wicket.
As the Tendulkar wagon wheel shows, none of his 10 fours were hit in front of square on the leg-side, partly because Strauss ensured he often had two people posted on the ropes in that region.
But the other regions are all studded with fours, as England's bowling force - in theory strengthened by the addition of Michael Yardy - was run ragged.
When England began their chase of a monstrous-looking target of 339, Strauss was quick out of the blocks because his team simply could not afford to get behind the asking rate of almost seven runs an over.
A leg-glance and a booming square cut gave him two of the 18 fours he would accumulate in all in the very first over of the chase, and he was off and away.
STRAUSS wagon wheel: The England captain's preference for square-of-the wicket hitting is demonstrated while his huge six came off Yuvraj Singh
While Tendulkar's rate of scoring accelerated sharply from a steady base, Strauss cruised along at something close to a run a ball throughout the innings, taking in the rapid opening stand with Kevin Pietersen, Jonathan Trott's brief stay at the crease and the really big partnership of the innings with Ian Bell.
Not traditionally someone who plays attacking shots down the ground, he stuck to the areas he knows best - square of the wicket and behind square - with only four scoring shots, each gaining him a single, coming in the mid-off region.
It was only when Bell, who defied his critics with some lusty blows of his own, cramped up in the latter stages of the chase that Strauss's smooth rhythm was also stifled, and the two men fell off consecutive balls.
Statistically, the Strauss innings was superior to Tendulkar's, both in terms of runs scored (158 to 120) and strike rate (108.96 runs per 100 balls to 104.34). In truth however, it would be curmudgeonly to say the England captain produced the better innings. In keeping with the result of the match, let's call it a tie.
Although neither was involved in the enthralling finish, Sachin Tendulkar and Andrew Strauss provided two of the most exquisite centuries seen in World Cups when India and England played out their tied match in Bangalore on Sunday.
Tendulkar (120 from 115 balls) started slower than Strauss (158 from 145 balls) before accelerating dramatically in the second half of his innings
With the help of the "wagon wheels" provided here, showing each player's scoring areas - and a graph comparing their rate of scoring - their innings can be analysed more closely.
Tendulkar's was his 47th one-day century, but only his second against England, and he began steadily as he crafted an imposing target for India's opponents.
With his partner, Virender Sehwag, burning a trail at the other end, the 37-year-old waited patiently until the ninth over, soon after the departure of Sehwag, to hit his first two boundaries.
He got them off consecutive balls, identifying one of his favoured areas behind square on the leg-side for neat deflections.
From that point on, he picked up the pace of his scoring, dominating the big partnership for the second wicket with Gautam Gambhir.
TENDULKAR wagon wheel: No fours at all in front of the wicket on the leg side from the Indian master, but there are four sixes in the same arc
Two sixes cames off Paul Collingwood, the first an eased, lofted straight drive, the second smashed with similar elegance over midwicket. And there were three sixes off Graeme Swann: two over long-on, the other a slog sweep over deep mid-wicket.
As the Tendulkar wagon wheel shows, none of his 10 fours were hit in front of square on the leg-side, partly because Strauss ensured he often had two people posted on the ropes in that region.
But the other regions are all studded with fours, as England's bowling force - in theory strengthened by the addition of Michael Yardy - was run ragged.
When England began their chase of a monstrous-looking target of 339, Strauss was quick out of the blocks because his team simply could not afford to get behind the asking rate of almost seven runs an over.
A leg-glance and a booming square cut gave him two of the 18 fours he would accumulate in all in the very first over of the chase, and he was off and away.
STRAUSS wagon wheel: The England captain's preference for square-of-the wicket hitting is demonstrated while his huge six came off Yuvraj Singh
While Tendulkar's rate of scoring accelerated sharply from a steady base, Strauss cruised along at something close to a run a ball throughout the innings, taking in the rapid opening stand with Kevin Pietersen, Jonathan Trott's brief stay at the crease and the really big partnership of the innings with Ian Bell.
Not traditionally someone who plays attacking shots down the ground, he stuck to the areas he knows best - square of the wicket and behind square - with only four scoring shots, each gaining him a single, coming in the mid-off region.
It was only when Bell, who defied his critics with some lusty blows of his own, cramped up in the latter stages of the chase that Strauss's smooth rhythm was also stifled, and the two men fell off consecutive balls.
Statistically, the Strauss innings was superior to Tendulkar's, both in terms of runs scored (158 to 120) and strike rate (108.96 runs per 100 balls to 104.34). In truth however, it would be curmudgeonly to say the England captain produced the better innings. In keeping with the result of the match, let's call it a tie.
Short Changed?
In 1963, the USSR spent $2 million funding a South African communist party which had only 10 members.
Robbo
England Expectorates
Another chocker weekend of sport and there's so much good stuff you could be talking about.
I could bang on about plucky Brum and their team of attractive and rational individuals like Barry Sneaky V-Sign Ferguson and Lee 'Leave Your Foot In' Bowyer. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of lads.
What do them initials stand for I wonder...
This was one of them finals when I didn't want the outsiders to nick it. Trouble was Birmingham never really looked like outsiders, did they?
They have a lot of big lads. Arsenal have a couple of centre-backs with all the permanence of a sandcastle at high tide. I got a cool fifty quid putting not much on Zigic to score the first (and only, I hoped) goal.
You could stereotype the game as Beauty v The Beast. Except on this occasion you wouldn't have Penelope Cruz playing Arsenal, you'd have Kate Hudson or some other cute dimwit lightweight who's not as good as she thinks she is.
I still think Gooners could back off Wenger. Christ knows they get more entertainment at the Emirates Library in ninety minutes than most of us get in a season. But Arsene needs a bloody solid centre-back or three and, like it or not, a midfielder who treats tippy-tappers like so many kit-kat fingers. A Yaya Toure without the flagrant self-interest.
Still, well done Brum, you ugly buggers, you earned it... and bad luck Sczeszensczennyyyeny or whatever your name is. Twas a howler of such note that your UK passport must be a matter of days away.
One might also want to praise the tie between India and England. It was edge of your toilet seat stuff. And a great fillip for a tournament that has so far resembled a contest between a runaway Eurostar and an IKEA bookshelf.
Good stuff from Steve Davis, too, who has boldly announced his homosexuality to the cricketing world. Stand by for snorts of euphemistic guffawing next time someone catches him in the gully, pulls him over the boundary, or swings it both ways.
Seriously though, it's pretty close to not being much of a big deal which shows you how far we've come. (Steady innuendo-ists).
We might also congratulate European Golf on having the top four players in the world at the mo. Except that golf is not a sport but rather, as my mate Andy Smart insists, a paid holiday in Pringle.
We might also want to praise the continentally unpopular concrete-poured-into-pillow-cases that is the England Rugby Union Team. Apparently they beat France.
I didn't follow much of it. Since they brought in them tight-fitting T-shirts and God-knows what sort of dietary enhancements most of them rugby lads look like the sort of sun-lamped brawny tossers who twenty years back used to waddle into your local bar with muscles like a rockslide and a face like a jar of sultanas.
The rugby players I grew up watching - your Phil Bennetts and Gareth Edwards - well these blokes'd use them as ear-plugs.
But instead we're left to ponder that Regurgitatable Sign Of Our Times, the Errant England Footballer. If they're not elbowing you in the face, they're bringing an air rifle to work and shooting you. Allegedly.
First Rooney. He ran past James McCarthy and elbowed him in the face. The ball was somewhere in the next postal district at the time. God knows why. Has McCarthy been sneaking round to Colleen while Wazza's down the tobacconists?
Even John Hartson says it was indefensible. That's John Hartson, a man who had to go and find Eyal Berkovic's head in the nettles after a training-ground bust-up.
Let's look at what Sir Alex Ferfuckssakuson said about the incident: 'There was nothing in it'. Gaddafi-esque in its neglect of the truth.
'I don't think the boy touched McCarthy. They are all on drugs and working for Al Qaeda if you ask me'
The Govan Beetroot added: 'The press will raise a campaign to get him hung by Tuesday or electrocuted or something like that.' Erm, that's just a twat's thing to say. Maybe the country would've liked to see the recommended dose of three games off for the petulant hairy toddler. At the very least some calpol for the stroppy little bugger.
And this is what stirs up the ABU brigade. Clattenburg's said he's happy about what happened at the DW. Rooney gets clean away with it. No fine. No ban. No nowt. Just carry on as usual. Heck he could be a frigging merchant banker, couldn't he?
Carlo Ancelotti claims there's nowt wrong with discipline at Chelsea either after Ashley Cole SHOT someone. It's been dealt with apparently. Cole has apologised. For SHOOTING someone. Given their goal-shy form of late it's to see someone's bothering to shoot.
But can you believe it?! Really?! Well yes, it's Ashley Cole. Letting of an air-rifle is as pathetically schoolboy an error he could still be defending at Arsenal. What next, Cashley? Flicking gobs of chewed-up paper at John Obi-Mikel?
I expect Cole is the first on the team bus to shout 'The one who denied it supplied it.'
'Keep smiling darlin' I've got an air-rifle pointed at your back...'
What all this leads you to is two conclusions:
1. If you play for United you could rob a train in broad daylight without a mask on and Fergie would say it was nowt and the FA would agree.
2. There's not an England player in this country who has the remotest concept of reality. I mean we could take a fiver a week out of their pockets and build an NHS hospital in every town - and that way we'd have an A&E on standby should Rooney come drop in with a munk on.
I could bang on about plucky Brum and their team of attractive and rational individuals like Barry Sneaky V-Sign Ferguson and Lee 'Leave Your Foot In' Bowyer. Couldn't happen to a nicer bunch of lads.
What do them initials stand for I wonder...This was one of them finals when I didn't want the outsiders to nick it. Trouble was Birmingham never really looked like outsiders, did they?
They have a lot of big lads. Arsenal have a couple of centre-backs with all the permanence of a sandcastle at high tide. I got a cool fifty quid putting not much on Zigic to score the first (and only, I hoped) goal.
You could stereotype the game as Beauty v The Beast. Except on this occasion you wouldn't have Penelope Cruz playing Arsenal, you'd have Kate Hudson or some other cute dimwit lightweight who's not as good as she thinks she is.
I still think Gooners could back off Wenger. Christ knows they get more entertainment at the Emirates Library in ninety minutes than most of us get in a season. But Arsene needs a bloody solid centre-back or three and, like it or not, a midfielder who treats tippy-tappers like so many kit-kat fingers. A Yaya Toure without the flagrant self-interest.
Still, well done Brum, you ugly buggers, you earned it... and bad luck Sczeszensczennyyyeny or whatever your name is. Twas a howler of such note that your UK passport must be a matter of days away.
One might also want to praise the tie between India and England. It was edge of your toilet seat stuff. And a great fillip for a tournament that has so far resembled a contest between a runaway Eurostar and an IKEA bookshelf.
Good stuff from Steve Davis, too, who has boldly announced his homosexuality to the cricketing world. Stand by for snorts of euphemistic guffawing next time someone catches him in the gully, pulls him over the boundary, or swings it both ways.
Seriously though, it's pretty close to not being much of a big deal which shows you how far we've come. (Steady innuendo-ists).
We might also congratulate European Golf on having the top four players in the world at the mo. Except that golf is not a sport but rather, as my mate Andy Smart insists, a paid holiday in Pringle.
We might also want to praise the continentally unpopular concrete-poured-into-pillow-cases that is the England Rugby Union Team. Apparently they beat France.
I didn't follow much of it. Since they brought in them tight-fitting T-shirts and God-knows what sort of dietary enhancements most of them rugby lads look like the sort of sun-lamped brawny tossers who twenty years back used to waddle into your local bar with muscles like a rockslide and a face like a jar of sultanas.
The rugby players I grew up watching - your Phil Bennetts and Gareth Edwards - well these blokes'd use them as ear-plugs.
But instead we're left to ponder that Regurgitatable Sign Of Our Times, the Errant England Footballer. If they're not elbowing you in the face, they're bringing an air rifle to work and shooting you. Allegedly.
First Rooney. He ran past James McCarthy and elbowed him in the face. The ball was somewhere in the next postal district at the time. God knows why. Has McCarthy been sneaking round to Colleen while Wazza's down the tobacconists?
Even John Hartson says it was indefensible. That's John Hartson, a man who had to go and find Eyal Berkovic's head in the nettles after a training-ground bust-up.
Let's look at what Sir Alex Ferfuckssakuson said about the incident: 'There was nothing in it'. Gaddafi-esque in its neglect of the truth.
'I don't think the boy touched McCarthy. They are all on drugs and working for Al Qaeda if you ask me'The Govan Beetroot added: 'The press will raise a campaign to get him hung by Tuesday or electrocuted or something like that.' Erm, that's just a twat's thing to say. Maybe the country would've liked to see the recommended dose of three games off for the petulant hairy toddler. At the very least some calpol for the stroppy little bugger.
And this is what stirs up the ABU brigade. Clattenburg's said he's happy about what happened at the DW. Rooney gets clean away with it. No fine. No ban. No nowt. Just carry on as usual. Heck he could be a frigging merchant banker, couldn't he?
Carlo Ancelotti claims there's nowt wrong with discipline at Chelsea either after Ashley Cole SHOT someone. It's been dealt with apparently. Cole has apologised. For SHOOTING someone. Given their goal-shy form of late it's to see someone's bothering to shoot.
But can you believe it?! Really?! Well yes, it's Ashley Cole. Letting of an air-rifle is as pathetically schoolboy an error he could still be defending at Arsenal. What next, Cashley? Flicking gobs of chewed-up paper at John Obi-Mikel?
I expect Cole is the first on the team bus to shout 'The one who denied it supplied it.'
'Keep smiling darlin' I've got an air-rifle pointed at your back...' What all this leads you to is two conclusions:
1. If you play for United you could rob a train in broad daylight without a mask on and Fergie would say it was nowt and the FA would agree.
2. There's not an England player in this country who has the remotest concept of reality. I mean we could take a fiver a week out of their pockets and build an NHS hospital in every town - and that way we'd have an A&E on standby should Rooney come drop in with a munk on.
Quote/Unquote
There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.
- Stephen Colbert10 Items or Less
Watched this filum after the match and what a charming movie. With Morgan Freeman and Paz Vega in the leading roles, this gentle look at life from the perspective of two different people will bring a smile to your face.
A well-known actor (Freeman), who hasn't accepted a role in four years, is considering a "project".
The cousin of the director drives him to Archie's Ranch Market, in Carson, and drops him off to do a little research for his intended role, playing a supermarket manager. He walks around, sees how the place is being mismanaged and then becomess fascinated by one of the check-out girls.
Scarlet (Vega) is a young woman from Spain who hates her job being stuck at the "10 items or less" lane, particularly as her co-worker does nowt all day long except sleep with the boss. Her ex-husband.
The actor chats her up, and when her shift ends, he asks for a lift, where during the course of the afternoon, he helps her prepare for a job interview she has lined up. She needs a confidence boost, he needs to commit and thus we see two strangers interact and help one another.
A well-known actor (Freeman), who hasn't accepted a role in four years, is considering a "project".
The cousin of the director drives him to Archie's Ranch Market, in Carson, and drops him off to do a little research for his intended role, playing a supermarket manager. He walks around, sees how the place is being mismanaged and then becomess fascinated by one of the check-out girls.
Scarlet (Vega) is a young woman from Spain who hates her job being stuck at the "10 items or less" lane, particularly as her co-worker does nowt all day long except sleep with the boss. Her ex-husband.
The actor chats her up, and when her shift ends, he asks for a lift, where during the course of the afternoon, he helps her prepare for a job interview she has lined up. She needs a confidence boost, he needs to commit and thus we see two strangers interact and help one another.
Indian Power Cuts
We spent five weeks in India and almost daily in some regions. they had continual power outages.
I wonder how the authorities can guarantee that with the floodlights at the games in the evening won't trip? Just imagine facing a bouncer and it all goes black. :o)
I wonder how the authorities can guarantee that with the floodlights at the games in the evening won't trip? Just imagine facing a bouncer and it all goes black. :o)
New Restaurant Bar
I think it was called the 4 x 4, the theme was certainly centred all around jeeps and similar, with the place decked out with car parts. We had a good meal, made the most of their cricket special beer offer (buy three large bottles, get a small one free) and then it was time to go to the loo.
Wifey had already been to "powder" her nose but when I needed to visit, it was much later and dark. With no lights to be found anywhere.
Turns out they were renovating the place and someone had switched off the power. It took them twenty minutes to admit defeat and I was eventually led off into the main restaurant/function room (very grand) to use the facilities there.
They couldn't apologise enough but it wasn't a concern to me- I was wondering what was going to happen later during the evening when many more would need the bog. I'd love to have witnessed what they did then but we headed off home.
Wifey had already been to "powder" her nose but when I needed to visit, it was much later and dark. With no lights to be found anywhere.
Turns out they were renovating the place and someone had switched off the power. It took them twenty minutes to admit defeat and I was eventually led off into the main restaurant/function room (very grand) to use the facilities there.
They couldn't apologise enough but it wasn't a concern to me- I was wondering what was going to happen later during the evening when many more would need the bog. I'd love to have witnessed what they did then but we headed off home.
Two Games
Monday, 28 February 2011
ICC World Cup
Canada: 123 (42.1 overs)Zimbabwe: 298-9 (50.0 overs)
Zimbabwe beat Canada by 175 runs
scorecard match report
Netherlands: 115 (31.3 overs)
West Indies: 330-8 (50.0 overs)
West Indies beat Netherlands by 215 runs
scorecard match report
We watched the Windies/Dutch match and it seemed like the Caribbean Kings didn't have much passion or heart to go all the way. It will be interesting to see how they get on in the later stages- if they get that far.
Happy Birthday
Today to Poev, our main man in PP who helped us pick up our Thai visas last year and then looked after those and our passports for a month while we were in Siem Reap.
Same again in April please and we're looking forward to going out afterwards for a drink. :o)
Same again in April please and we're looking forward to going out afterwards for a drink. :o)
TV Chefs Ain't All That
1. How to hold a knife
Quick, what's the fastest way to tell professional chefs from rank amateurs? Watch how they hold a chef's knife. The second that index finger sticks out along the spine of the knife, it's a clear signal the person has never had to chop massive amounts of anything. It gives the illusion of control, but in fact the knife is less steady. Professional chefs hold both sides of the blade with the handle tucked under their wrist, from which vantage point it is impossible to slice one's finger off (see picture above). Sadly, this is more common than one would think on the television.
2. Oil in the pasta water
Mario Batali must have a heart attack every time some non-Italian puts a blob of oil in a pot of boiling water for pasta. It should be common sense. Oil floats on water, even boiling water; if it's floating on top of the water, it can't keep the pasta on the bottom from sticking, can it? Even putting the pasta through the oil on the way down won't help. If you want your pasta not to stick together, boil it in plenty of salted water, then save a bit of the cooking water for when you finish your pasta in the sauce (you do that, right?)
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| Flickr user mattjb |
2. Oil in the pasta water
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| Flickr user grapefruitmoon |
3. Using cold tortillas
It's frustrating to try and replicate a TV show's recipe only to find that one crucial step was left out of the show and the accompanying recipe. As an example, trying to make burritos or enchiladas with cold tortillas is an exercise in frustration. Tortillas, both corn and flour, have to be warmed before they become pliable, yet somehow TV chefs near and far neglect to mention this. They don't have to be cooked in oil, either--the usual method in Mexican kitchens is to heat the tortillas directly on the stove burner. If that skeeves you out, use an ungreased skillet.
4. Salting large pieces of meat incorrectly
Yes, it's important to salt meat and salt it well; if you're making an enormous roast, however, salting the outside means the outside will be saltier than the inside. That's actually not bad, as long as slices include the salty crust and the less-seasoned insides, but many times, the meat is mis-cut as well as mis-salted. A better option, depending on what the final dish is, may be marinating, which gives the salt time to be absorbed further into the meat.
5. Eating baked goods straight from the oven
In the world of food porn, the "money shot" is the food-gasm face the chefs all make when tasting their just-ripped-from-the-heat food. This works perfectly when it's a pasta dish, but baked goods, especially bready baked goods, need to sit and cool nearly completely before the gluten sets. Fruit fillings, too, need to cool to set--the way to spot a switcheroo on the baked good is when the TV chef cuts into the apple pie she's just taken out of the oven, and it doesn't run all over the place.
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| Flickr user mastermaq |
4. Salting large pieces of meat incorrectly
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| Flickr user mnemonic |
5. Eating baked goods straight from the oven
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| Flickr user craige |
From OC Weekly.
Today's Quickie
Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late and have a lie in.
N & O
N
Nadia Seymour (Now do you see more)
Natalie Klad (Nattily clad)
Neil B. Forme (Kneel before me)
Neil Downe (Kneel down)
Neil Efare (Nearly there)
Neil Sonweels (Meals on wheels)
Nesta Vipas (Nest of vipers)
Neve Adda (Nevada)
Nick L. Andime (Nickel and dime)
Nick O'Teen (Nicotine)
Nick Ovtime (Nick of time)
Nick Rofilia (Necrophilia)
Nida Lyte (Need a light)
Noah Count (No account)
Noah Vale (No avail)
Noah Zark (Noah's ark)
Nora Bone (Gnaw a bone)
Norma Stitz (Enormous tits)
O
Olav Myfriendsaregay (All of my friends are gay - from The Simpsons)
Oliver Bush (I love her bush)
Oliver Clothesoff (All of her clothes off - from The Simpsons)
Oliver DaPlaz (All over the place)
Oliver Sudden (All of a sudden)
Ollie Churpuzzi (I'll eat your Poe)
Ollie Tabooger (I'll eat a booger - from The Simpsons)
Ophelia Pane (I feel your pain)
Ophelia Titsoff (I'll feel your tits off)
Opie Umsbad (Opium's bad)
Orla Nophin (All or nothing)
Orson Cart (Horse and cart)
Orson Ounds (Horse and hounds)
Otto B. Kilt (Ought to be killed)
Otto Matik (Automatic)
Owen Monie (Owing money)
Double Jeopardy
Statistically speaking, it is safer to travel on the roof of a train in India than the back of a rickshaw in Shanghai.
We have yet to visit Shanghai...
We have yet to visit Shanghai...
The Rooms
Accommodation in Sri Lanka
It gives us immense pleasure to introduce Fort Fifty Inn as a luxury resort, within Galle Fort, offering luxury facilities with the best-personalized service in an old, charm and homely atmosphere.We now offer 7 Luxury rooms. Equipped with Air conditioning, Satellite Television, Radio, Telephone and fully - equipped Bathrooms. Internet browsing facilities, Self cooking or catering services and complimentary Tea / Coffee Counter are few of the extra facilities provided in Superior Luxury Rooms. All rooms are very spacious, with balconies offering wonderful views.
Facilities for Personal comfortLuxury cotton bathrobes, queen-sized beds, anti-allergy pillows and duvet, walk in power-shower, mist-free mirrors, complimentary White Company toiletries, hairdryer, iron/ironing-board, deluxe complimentary tea, coffee, hand baked biscuits, personal bar with a selection of great goodies to choose from.Work / life balanceInternet browsing, complimentary wi-fi, satellite TV, direct dial telephones, Fitness suite with full sets and flat screen TVs with satellite and music channels.Service24-hour room service and guest service, multi-lingual staff, express check-in/check-out.Considered touchesFloor to ceiling windows, enhanced fresh air conditioning, high-level sound-proofing. |
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40:50
The new home, Fort Fifty:
Fort Fifty Inn is a high quality resort located in the Galle Dutch Fort of Southern Sri Lanka provides you with the best facilities you will ever come across.
Some of these includes high quality comfortable AC rooms, television, attached bathroom, gymnasium, piped music, self cooking facilities available.
Fort Fifty Inn is one of the best inn in Sri Lanka, offers you the best honeymoon packages, holiday packages. Make a reservation today through our online reservation page and experience the beauty and tranquillity of this high quality resorts for a very low cost.
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