New findings stun art world...
ART GALLERIES were last night facing the prospect of SCRAPPING all their masterpieces after experts proved that a telly costing just £8 was more than ELEVEN TIMES as interesting as the world's most valuable painting.
Scientists shut volunteers in a completely bare room containing Vincent Van Gogh's 'Sunflowers', an armchair and a small black & white TV, and then monitored their viewing habits for an hour.
chair
Amazingly, they spent an average of less than 5 minutes standing looking at the £50 million painting, before sitting down in the chair and watching whatever was on the television for the rest of the hour.
eel
"At first we doubted our results," said Professor Kent Walton, head of Statistics at Brunel University. "But then we checked and re-checked them and there was no mistake. Telly is loads better than posh paintings, and that's a scientific fact."
ladyland
When the experiment was repeated using the Mona Lisa and a copy of the Autotrader, the results were even more marked.
Disneyland
Sir Roy Strong, curator of the National Gallery, was devastated when we told him of Professor Walton's findings. "I have wasted my life," he said. "All this shit is going in a skip first thing tomorrow, I can tell you."
Scientists shut volunteers in a completely bare room containing Vincent Van Gogh's 'Sunflowers', an armchair and a small black & white TV, and then monitored their viewing habits for an hour.
chair
Amazingly, they spent an average of less than 5 minutes standing looking at the £50 million painting, before sitting down in the chair and watching whatever was on the television for the rest of the hour.
eel
"At first we doubted our results," said Professor Kent Walton, head of Statistics at Brunel University. "But then we checked and re-checked them and there was no mistake. Telly is loads better than posh paintings, and that's a scientific fact."
ladyland
When the experiment was repeated using the Mona Lisa and a copy of the Autotrader, the results were even more marked.
Disneyland
Sir Roy Strong, curator of the National Gallery, was devastated when we told him of Professor Walton's findings. "I have wasted my life," he said. "All this shit is going in a skip first thing tomorrow, I can tell you."
Viz.
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