Britain's FBI

The Serious Organised Crime Agency (Soca), admired for its investigative skills and hi-tech crime-fighting abilities has been found a little lacking in detective work after a senior drugs officer went missing. 

Two "extensive searches" of their offices failed to turn up anything and, 16 hours after he was last seen, the officer’s colleagues called his wife and told her she should report him missing to local Dibble. 

He was eventually found at 04:00 the next day by a security guard on his regular rounds, who noticed the toilet cubicle door had been shut for a "considerable time.  The guard then called Soca Fuzz who kicked down the door and found their colleague dead on the toilet, just a few metres from his desk.

The agency, which employs 4 200 staff and has 40 offices in Britain, refused to confirm when the officer was found dead earlier this year, but a source said he "vanished" after going to the toilet at 12:00.  The Rozzer source, who has worked in the Met for 15 years, said:

"How these guys can be called Britain’s FBI when they can’t even find their own officer 50ft from his desk is an embarrassment."

Ain't it just.  :o)

What's even more embarrassing is the excuse, which was that Soca was "staffed by brand new, inexperienced staff who are keen to assist but who have little, if any, background experience in law enforcement work".  How jolly reassuring.

Bosses have since ordered that 10 cm (4 inches) be lopped off the bottom of cubicle doors so they could easily check if anyone was trapped.