63- Retune a TV using a foreign menu
One of our regular travel tips is to always retune your hotel TV as soon as you land, because, guaranteed, some before you will have had a fiddle and made a complete pig's arse of it. Find the main menu, keep fingers crossed it's in English (if not, that's first priority, setting the OSD to UK) and then let it auto-scan while you unpack.
Voilà, a full range of programmes so you don't miss out on anything.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Star Gazing
62- Spot a celebrity in public
Not that easy when you're in a continent where all the famous people are unrecognisable to you. However, we do get a load of camera teams coming to the Imm for photo shoots and interviews and according to the learned Mr S, we've had some real big hitters downstairs.
Best of the lot though was seeing the current PM, Abhisit, just wandering around the shopping mall at Paragon last year. No fuss no fanfare and barely any visible bodyguards. A real down to earth chap.
I also think we saw Chuck Norris drive past in a wedding car in Gdansk, Poland but it surely couldn't have been the real deal, rather a look-a-like...
And I'm not kidding either, it was the spit of the man. Honest.
Not that easy when you're in a continent where all the famous people are unrecognisable to you. However, we do get a load of camera teams coming to the Imm for photo shoots and interviews and according to the learned Mr S, we've had some real big hitters downstairs.
Best of the lot though was seeing the current PM, Abhisit, just wandering around the shopping mall at Paragon last year. No fuss no fanfare and barely any visible bodyguards. A real down to earth chap.
I also think we saw Chuck Norris drive past in a wedding car in Gdansk, Poland but it surely couldn't have been the real deal, rather a look-a-like...
And I'm not kidding either, it was the spit of the man. Honest.
Much Appreciated
61- Say thank you with flowers/gift to someone who has helped you
It's always nice to say thanks, particularly for me who is comfortable to criticise and complain when things do not go as they should. Our most recent gratitude went out to Sonia, our contact at the ANZ.
We arranged a card and some chocolates to be delivered to her via Duncan, whom we'd met up at Savong's School. Needless to say, it went down well and the look of surprise (as reported back by our man with a mission) was worth everything.
It's always nice to say thanks, particularly for me who is comfortable to criticise and complain when things do not go as they should. Our most recent gratitude went out to Sonia, our contact at the ANZ.
We arranged a card and some chocolates to be delivered to her via Duncan, whom we'd met up at Savong's School. Needless to say, it went down well and the look of surprise (as reported back by our man with a mission) was worth everything.
Q & A: Thailand election
From the BBC:
Mr Abhisit's main rival is Yingluck Shinawatra, the younger sister of former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra. She is standing for the Pheu Thai Party. Her candidacy was announced relatively late in the campaign, and seems to have caught the government off guard. Her non-confrontational style and photogenic campaign posturing have been much commented on in the Thai media. Her critics, though, fear she and her party are a proxy for Mr Thaksin's continuing ambitions.
There is an array of smaller parties, which will be involved in horse-trading should the two main parties not get a simple majority.
The real battle is not one of policy. Mr Thaksin's influence has loomed large throughout the campaign. He is a deeply divisive figure. His fans - many of them in poor rural areas - hail him as the only politician who really addressed their concerns; his detractors say he is a dangerous corrupt demagogue.
Ms Yingluck has not disguised her affection for her brother, but claims she would be her own woman if elected. Mr Abhisit has made increasingly bleak predictions about what would happen if Mr Thaksin's allies were voted back in - talking of unrest and instability. Mr Thaksin has given a series of interviews from his home in Dubai, trying to placate his enemies.
But analysts have expressed fear that a close election result, followed by the kind of opaque horse-trading that Thai politics has become infamous for, could ruin the credibility of any future government. The worry is that either one of the partisan groups of activists - the yellow shirts or the red shirts - could once again take to the streets to try to impose their will. Alternatively, the army may decide to step in and decide who takes power.
Thailand is preparing for its first general election since 2007. The county has a long history of political protests and military coups, but after a relatively peaceful campaign, there is hope that this election could finally provide stability.
What's at stake?
About 47 million people are eligible to vote. They will choose from 3,832 candidates representing 42 parties. In reality, only a handful of parties will win seats. There are 500 seats up for grabs in the House of Representatives. If any party wins more than 250 seats, they will be able to form a majority government. If no party wins a majority, they will have to form a coalition.Who are the main players?
Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva is once again standing for the Democrat Party - Thailand's oldest political party. But recent history is against him: the Democrats have not won a general election in almost two decades. He came to power after a ruling by the Constitutional Court banned his predecessor for electoral fraud. Although Thailand has avoided many of the ill effects of the global financial crisis under his stewardship, and he faced down huge protests, his critics portray him as an uncharismatic technocrat.Mr Abhisit's main rival is Yingluck Shinawatra, the younger sister of former Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra. She is standing for the Pheu Thai Party. Her candidacy was announced relatively late in the campaign, and seems to have caught the government off guard. Her non-confrontational style and photogenic campaign posturing have been much commented on in the Thai media. Her critics, though, fear she and her party are a proxy for Mr Thaksin's continuing ambitions.
There is an array of smaller parties, which will be involved in horse-trading should the two main parties not get a simple majority.
What are the main issues?
Both parties have similar-sounding policies and priorities. They have each promised to raise the minimum wage; improve transport connections to the north of the country; make healthcare more widely available and affordable; and continue to fund microfinance schemes in rural areas.The real battle is not one of policy. Mr Thaksin's influence has loomed large throughout the campaign. He is a deeply divisive figure. His fans - many of them in poor rural areas - hail him as the only politician who really addressed their concerns; his detractors say he is a dangerous corrupt demagogue.
Ms Yingluck has not disguised her affection for her brother, but claims she would be her own woman if elected. Mr Abhisit has made increasingly bleak predictions about what would happen if Mr Thaksin's allies were voted back in - talking of unrest and instability. Mr Thaksin has given a series of interviews from his home in Dubai, trying to placate his enemies.
What is the most likely outcome?
Both main parties have agreed to respect the result of the election and allow the party with the most seats to try to form a government first. According to the opinion polls, Pheu Thai is likely to win most seats, but not a majority. The party would then have 30 days after parliament reconvenes to build a coalition. If they fail, then the Democrats would try.But analysts have expressed fear that a close election result, followed by the kind of opaque horse-trading that Thai politics has become infamous for, could ruin the credibility of any future government. The worry is that either one of the partisan groups of activists - the yellow shirts or the red shirts - could once again take to the streets to try to impose their will. Alternatively, the army may decide to step in and decide who takes power.
Ladies' Update
| Team | MP | W | D | L | GF | GA | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
 Japan | 2 | 2 | 0 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 6 |
 England | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0 | 3 | 2 | 4 |
 Mexico | 2 | 0 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 1 |
 New Zealand | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | 2 | 4 | 0 |
| Team | MP | W | D | L | GF | GA | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
 Brazil | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 |
 Norway | 1 | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 3 |
 Australia | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
 Equatorial Guinea | 1 | 0 | 0 | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0 |
The Adjustment Bureau
Our filum of the night and well worth a viewing. The plot from IMDb:
Surely it would have been even neater to name the third Harold?
Do we control our destiny, or do unseen forces manipulate us? A man glimpses the future Fate has planned for him and realizes he wants something else. To get it, he must pursue across, under and through the streets of modern-day New York the only woman he's ever loved. On the brink of winning a seat in the U.S. Senate, ambitious politician David Norris (Damon) meets beautiful contemporary ballet dancer Elise Sellas (Emily Blunt) - a woman like none he's ever known. But just as he realizes he's falling for her, mysterious men conspire to keep the two apart. David learns he is up against the agents of Fate itself - the men of The Adjustment Bureau - who will do everything in their considerable power to prevent David and Elise from being together. In the face of overwhelming odds, he must either let her go and accept a predetermined path...or risk everything to defy Fate and be with her.
Trivia
The names of the three main members of the Adjustment Bureau are Thompson, Richardson, and Harry: a play on the term Tom, Dick, and Harry, which is slang for any anonymous persons.Surely it would have been even neater to name the third Harold?
Shaping Up
Sweden and the United States are into the quarter-finals of the women's World Cup after maintaining their 100% records at this year's tournament. Sweden's second straight 1-0 success in Group C defeated North Korea who are now eliminated, and the United States brushed aside Colombia, who are also out, 3-0.
No Idea
A parliamentary inquiry wants Fifa to conduct an independent review into the corruption claims that have dogged the organisation, according to BBC Sport. Football's governing body has been criticised for its response to the 2022 World Cup bribery allegations. Fifa is also criticised for its handling of corruption claims in their recent presidential elections.
The Culture, Media and Sport select committee's report is due to be published on 5th July, which will criticise Fifa's "contemptuous" and "dismissive" response to evidence submitted to the committee by the Sunday Times which accused two Fifa members, Issa Hayatou and Jacques Anouma, of asking for bribes to back Qatar's 2022 World Cup bid.
However, the ethics committee decided allegations of vote-trading between Spain and Portugal, who were bidding for the 2018 World Cup, and Qatar, who were bidding for 2022, were unfounded.
The Culture, Media and Sport select committee's report is due to be published on 5th July, which will criticise Fifa's "contemptuous" and "dismissive" response to evidence submitted to the committee by the Sunday Times which accused two Fifa members, Issa Hayatou and Jacques Anouma, of asking for bribes to back Qatar's 2022 World Cup bid.
However, the ethics committee decided allegations of vote-trading between Spain and Portugal, who were bidding for the 2018 World Cup, and Qatar, who were bidding for 2022, were unfounded.
Does anyone even think for a moment that Sepptic Splatter will even consider the committee's findings? Fifa has always stated it will not accept any interference from MPs and yet here we are with puff up wind bags demanding all sorts of things.
What a waste of time, effort, money and energy.
Wladimir Klitschko beats David Haye
By all accounts not a boxing classic but Klitschko sneaks it on a unanimous points decision. The three judges scored the fight 117-109, 118-108 and 116-110, all in Klitschko's favour.
Haye, a former undisputed cruiserweight champion, falls to 25 wins and two defeats, while Klitschko, who has not lost since 2004, improves to 56 wins and three defeats. Rumour has that Haye will now retire as announced, before his 31st birthday- due in (13th) October this year.
Haye, a former undisputed cruiserweight champion, falls to 25 wins and two defeats, while Klitschko, who has not lost since 2004, improves to 56 wins and three defeats. Rumour has that Haye will now retire as announced, before his 31st birthday- due in (13th) October this year.
How the Mighty Fall?
Rossi on his "home" track and showing how poor the Ducati is compared to the Japanese marques at Mugello. Here's how they line up later today:
Italian MotoGP first practice times:
1. M Simoncelli (Ita) Gresini Honda 1'48.987
2. C Stoner (Aus) Repsol Honda 1'49.027
3. A Dovizioso (Ita) Repsol Honda 1'49.088
4. J Lorenzo (Spn) Yamaha 1'49.251
5. B Spies (USA) Yamaha 1'49.364
6. C Edwards (USA) Tech 3 Yamaha 1'49.810
7. D Pedrosa (Spn) Repsol Honda 1'50.104
8. N Hayden (USA) Ducati 1'50.203
9. H Aoyama (Jpn) Gresini Honda 1'50.629
10. A Bautista (Spn) Suzuki 1'50.658
11. C Crutchlow (GB) Tech 3 Yamaha 1'50.683
12. R De Puniet (Fr) Pramac Ducati 1'50.729
13. V Rossi (Ita) Ducati 1'50.729
14. H Barbera (Spn) Aspar Ducati 1'51.153
15. T Elias (Spn) LCR Honda 1'51.868
16. K Abraham (Cze) Cardion Ducati 1'51.876
Italian MotoGP first practice times:
1. M Simoncelli (Ita) Gresini Honda 1'48.987
2. C Stoner (Aus) Repsol Honda 1'49.027
3. A Dovizioso (Ita) Repsol Honda 1'49.088
4. J Lorenzo (Spn) Yamaha 1'49.251
5. B Spies (USA) Yamaha 1'49.364
6. C Edwards (USA) Tech 3 Yamaha 1'49.810
7. D Pedrosa (Spn) Repsol Honda 1'50.104
8. N Hayden (USA) Ducati 1'50.203
9. H Aoyama (Jpn) Gresini Honda 1'50.629
10. A Bautista (Spn) Suzuki 1'50.658
11. C Crutchlow (GB) Tech 3 Yamaha 1'50.683
12. R De Puniet (Fr) Pramac Ducati 1'50.729
13. V Rossi (Ita) Ducati 1'50.729
14. H Barbera (Spn) Aspar Ducati 1'51.153
15. T Elias (Spn) LCR Honda 1'51.868
16. K Abraham (Cze) Cardion Ducati 1'51.876
If I Had a Choice
I'd be rooting for Novak Djokovic to beat Nadal in today's men's Final.
Again, not overly bothered though.
Again, not overly bothered though.
The Less Shouty Burd Wins?
I have no idea if the Czech, Petra Kvitova, has a more shrill grunt than Maria Sharapova, but she takes the Wimbledon crown 6-3. 6-4.
Yawn.
Yawn.
Election Day
Kicks off today and already we get the feeling something is going to change.
I don't voice opinion on Thai politics and while I certainly like Abhisit, I have a feeling we may soon be witnessing Thailand's first lady PM. The fact she is also Thaksin's sister could make life very interesting over the next few months.
Not a time to be leaving, I'd love to be around to see how this pans out.
I don't voice opinion on Thai politics and while I certainly like Abhisit, I have a feeling we may soon be witnessing Thailand's first lady PM. The fact she is also Thaksin's sister could make life very interesting over the next few months.
Not a time to be leaving, I'd love to be around to see how this pans out.
Quote/Unquote
"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite."
- Paul Dirac
Six Months and Counting
The most common request made to Santa by children aged 3 to 7 is a puppy, while the most common request by children ages 8 to 11 is a bicycle.
I just want to be back at the Imm for Christmas this year.
I just want to be back at the Imm for Christmas this year.
It Does, However
Mean we are totally potless and have no spare funds in case of emergency. Still, what can happen- we're off to the UK in under a fortnight and have enough to see us through.
And if that is not the kiss of death, I don't know what is.
But it was certainly worth the risk of moving the money over to Thailand early.
And if that is not the kiss of death, I don't know what is.
But it was certainly worth the risk of moving the money over to Thailand early.
How This All Kicked Off
You will have noticed that I've been banging on about recent financial "rewards" but the reason for that is that we got such an incredible deal yesterday.
We tend to keep an eye on exchange rates at least on a weekly basis and if we're due, certainly as a daily routine. Key figures to monitor are usually the pound to the New Zealand Dollar and the Thai Baht and we're comfortable with the average prices by now.
To cut a long story short, we reckon on THB 22 to the NZ buck and if it goes up, we sometimes buy early and leave the cash in Thailand for our next visit. Yesterday we got THB 24.4 to the Dollar (yes, you will get better deals for real bank exchange rates but they are never for mere mortals) and by sending the cash over six months early, we have managed to make enough to put up the m-i-l for a fortnight at the hotel.
Now that is definitely not chicken feed.
We tend to keep an eye on exchange rates at least on a weekly basis and if we're due, certainly as a daily routine. Key figures to monitor are usually the pound to the New Zealand Dollar and the Thai Baht and we're comfortable with the average prices by now.
To cut a long story short, we reckon on THB 22 to the NZ buck and if it goes up, we sometimes buy early and leave the cash in Thailand for our next visit. Yesterday we got THB 24.4 to the Dollar (yes, you will get better deals for real bank exchange rates but they are never for mere mortals) and by sending the cash over six months early, we have managed to make enough to put up the m-i-l for a fortnight at the hotel.
Now that is definitely not chicken feed.
Even More Cash
Another positive- we also keep forgetting about our monthly interest from our savings account in New Zealand. Once more, it's hardly a colossal amount, but it was enough to make a foreign transfer free of charge, so we're definitely getting free banking at the moment. :o)
More Cash
Only small sums, but we also found out yesterday that the transfer fee with our ANZ account to a foreign destination has gone down. Originally NZ$25, it's reduced to NZ$20, which is about a tenner. Compare that to what we get stiffed in the UK; £25 and you wonder how this is reasonable?
Why can New Zealand charge well under half for the same transaction we get fleeced for in the UK?
Seriously, how is this justified? Oh, I know. Rip Off, Britain.
Why can New Zealand charge well under half for the same transaction we get fleeced for in the UK?
Seriously, how is this justified? Oh, I know. Rip Off, Britain.
Interesting Times
As we have no doubt mentioned before, foreigners do not get any kind of interest on the money they deposit in their Thai bank accounts. Usually one is fortunate to simply be able to even open such an account, but to our amazement, we got about THB 90 at the end of last year.
OK, a couple of quid is hardly much to cheer about but it was unexpected, it's better to have it than have it taken away and more interestingly, we earned more in our Thai account in a few months than we did the entire year with our UK bank account.
Si imagine our surprise to find out that we recently got another interest payment when we checked yesterday. At just under THB 500 (around a tenner) we reckon this is a bi-annual payment and we're more than chuffed.
Again, not for the sums involved, more simply just because it's a total bonus. :o)
OK, a couple of quid is hardly much to cheer about but it was unexpected, it's better to have it than have it taken away and more interestingly, we earned more in our Thai account in a few months than we did the entire year with our UK bank account.
Si imagine our surprise to find out that we recently got another interest payment when we checked yesterday. At just under THB 500 (around a tenner) we reckon this is a bi-annual payment and we're more than chuffed.
Again, not for the sums involved, more simply just because it's a total bonus. :o)
Friday, July 1, 2011
Sold Out
There are more blank CD-R disks sold world wide than cassette tapes with recorded content.
Cassette tapes? Obsolete now, so hardly surprising.
Cassette tapes? Obsolete now, so hardly surprising.
Good Call
Customers will no longer be charged a fee for using a debit card, especially those booking with airlines and other travel companies, the Office for Fair Trading has ruled.
Credit card charges will also have to be made far clearer to customers when booking online or over the phone, stopping the shock faced by many consumers when they realise the total cost of their holiday is considerably more than the originally quoted price.
The ruling is a blow to many travel companies, especially low-cost airlines such as Ryanair and easyJet, which have steadily increased their charges over recent years. The OFT said that consumers ended up paying an extra £300 million for their travel in 2009 as a direct result of these charges.
Ryanair, for instance, charges £6 per passenger, per leg of each journey if they book on either debit or credit card, meaning that a family of five are landed with a booking fee of £60 on a return flight. The company insists the charge is not for processing the card and says it is an "administration fee", but campaigners point out it is nearly everyone pays it because it is impossible for a consumer to buy a ticket from a Ryanair office or by post.
EasyJet charges £8 for a debit card transaction, and £8 plus a 2.5 per cent fee for a credit card transaction. Many cinema chains levy 70p per ticket.
The ruling by the OFT follows a so-called complaint issued by Which?, the consumer watchdog, earlier this year.
Its complaint claimed that the cost of handling a debit card was no more than 20p per transaction and that retailers such as supermarkets and department stores absorbed the cost without question.
Which? also said that the cost of a credit card was about 2 per cent of the transaction. It said any charges levied by travel companies, cinemas and even Government agencies such as the DVLA and HM Revenue and Customs should reflect that cost.
The OFT has mostly agreed with Which? and called for an immediate end to debit card charges. It said it was already in talks with ferry, rail and air companies and would take to court any company that failed to fall into line. Cinema, theatre and other companies will also have to follow suit.
The OFT said it also wanted the Government to pass legislation to outlaw debit card charges, so that in future there was no ambiguity about the issue.
However, it said credit card charges could continue, but only if they were made far clearer to customers and stated immediately below the headline price or "one click away" on a web page. "We don't want people find out about the charge after they have spent ages filling in their passport number and luggage details," said an OFT spokesman.
Prashant Vaze, head of fair markets at Consumer Focus, the government watchdog, said: "This is a victory for common sense. The OFT has confirmed what we all suspected – that online firms have been pulling the wool over their customers’ eyes.
"Customers want traders to be honest with them about costs from the start and not face hidden charges added at the end."
Nick Trend, the Telegraph's travel expert, said: "For years, the Telegraph has been highlighting the way that travel companies, and especially the no-frills airlines, have been inflating fares by adding ever-higher charges to process payments by credit or debit card.
"These charges bear no relation to the actual cost of handling the payments, and have been part of an apparent strategy to confuse consumers, masking the real cost of the ticket, and so making it harder for them to compare prices. The move by the OFT is a long-overdue reform which needs to be implemented as soon as possible. "
Which? called on companies to start scrapping their debit card fees with immediate effect, pointing out that one company, Monarch Airlines, had already done so.
Peter Vicary-Smith, chief executive of Which?, said: “Businesses can start to be upfront and fair over card charges today – there’s no point waiting until the OFT forces action. Industry shouldn’t drag its feet over this.”
Ryanair said that customers could avoid the fees by using a pre-pay card, a form of payment that does not have the same legal protection as a credit card and which often comes with a monthly fee.
Ryanair’s Stephen McNamara said: "It’s bizarre how the useless Which magazine continues to complain about low fares airlines while repeatedly ignoring the unfair and unjustified fuel surcharges of BA and other high fare airlines."
Ooh- don't Ryanair come across as slightly pissed? :o)
TTel
They Can Bugger Off
The old-fashioned wallet will be obsolete in the US within four years, an electronic payments company has claimed. The president of PayPal, said:
Well, after our repeated miserable experience with PayPal I will most certainly not be using their "services" ever again, and as to a wallet- I haven't carried one in years. All plastic stays in the safe and we only carry enough cash to get through the day.
"We believe that by 2015 digital currency will be accepted everywhere in the US– from your local corner store to Walmart. We will no longer need to carry a wallet as consumers are increasingly giving up traditional payment methods, including cash, cheques and even debit cards."
Well, after our repeated miserable experience with PayPal I will most certainly not be using their "services" ever again, and as to a wallet- I haven't carried one in years. All plastic stays in the safe and we only carry enough cash to get through the day.
Balderdash
Women with size five feet are most attractive to men, new research shows.
The formula for a perfect woman's foot is a size five, wearing three inch heels and red toe nail varnish, according to the study, which discovered men find size five feet, such as those belonging to Sophia Loren, Victoria Beckham, Kim Kardashian and Sophia Loren, are the most alluring.
Research by foot plaster company Compeed revealed nearly half of men will look at a woman's feet on a first date and a third will make a character judgement based on the state of them.
Utter bollocks. Are you really going to make judgement based on that when you can speak to the person? It's like insisting that formal footwear is necessary to look smart or acceptable. It's the person that counts, not the size of your plates.
Wifey is a size 4 and I take 7. Make of that what you will...
The formula for a perfect woman's foot is a size five, wearing three inch heels and red toe nail varnish, according to the study, which discovered men find size five feet, such as those belonging to Sophia Loren, Victoria Beckham, Kim Kardashian and Sophia Loren, are the most alluring.
Research by foot plaster company Compeed revealed nearly half of men will look at a woman's feet on a first date and a third will make a character judgement based on the state of them.
Utter bollocks. Are you really going to make judgement based on that when you can speak to the person? It's like insisting that formal footwear is necessary to look smart or acceptable. It's the person that counts, not the size of your plates.
Wifey is a size 4 and I take 7. Make of that what you will...
About Time
Misguided "jobsworths" have turned playgrounds into joyless no-go zones and risk harming children’s education for fear of being sued, the chairman of the Health and Safety Executive has warned. Bureaucrats were using health and safety rules as a “feeble” excuse to stop people enjoying themselves and “cynical” authorities employed them as cover for cost-cutting, Judith Hackitt told TTel.
She added that the “gloves are off” and her organisation would target officials or employers who wrongly used health and safety to stop everyday activities.
Jolly good.
“The creeping culture of risk-aversion and fear of litigation also puts at risk our children’s education and preparation for adult life. Children today are denied– often on spurious health and safety grounds, many of the formative experiences that shaped my generation.
Playgrounds have become joyless, for fear of a few cuts and bruises. Science in the classroom is becoming sterile and uninspiring. In many cases, the people behind these unreasonable rulings are well-meaning but misguided jobsworths. They may have the public interest at heart but they simply make the wrong call.
But a trend of far more concern to me is the use of health and safety as a convenient excuse by employers and other organisations cynically looking for a way to disguise their real motives.”
She added that the “gloves are off” and her organisation would target officials or employers who wrongly used health and safety to stop everyday activities.
Jolly good.
Self Defence
Public sector workers have said they will protect their pensions with a variety of sharp implements after Justice Secretary Ken Clarke said that stabbing someone who is trying to take your property will not be classed as a criminal offence.
Mr Clarke’s comments that people were entitled to use “whatever force necessary” to protect their property have led to union leaders asking him to clarify exactly what he means by ‘property’.
“The use of knives would put us in a much stronger position during negotiations” said Mary Bousted, general secretary of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers.”
“On the key issues where we are taking strike action, the government has said it won’t listen.”
“However, they may take a more flexible approach if I pulled out a machete, or an axe.”
Public sector strike
Public sector workers have welcomed the proposed changes to the laws surrounding people’s rights to defend their property.
UK Border Agency worker Simon Matthews said, “It’s certainly put this whole pension reform issue on a more level footing, and I imagine the Francis Maude’s smug expression will be a little different when facing an eight-inch blade.”
“That said, I guess the coalition will actually send all their Lib Dems to try and take our pensions first. Acceptable losses and all that.”
56 year-old Religious Studies teacher Miriam Price told us, ”I’d rather my pension rights stayed the same, but it’s a comfort to know that if the government do try to take what’s mine then I’ll be perfectly within my rights to cut them up.”
NT
Mr Clarke’s comments that people were entitled to use “whatever force necessary” to protect their property have led to union leaders asking him to clarify exactly what he means by ‘property’.
“The use of knives would put us in a much stronger position during negotiations” said Mary Bousted, general secretary of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers.”
“On the key issues where we are taking strike action, the government has said it won’t listen.”
“However, they may take a more flexible approach if I pulled out a machete, or an axe.”
Public sector strike
Public sector workers have welcomed the proposed changes to the laws surrounding people’s rights to defend their property.
UK Border Agency worker Simon Matthews said, “It’s certainly put this whole pension reform issue on a more level footing, and I imagine the Francis Maude’s smug expression will be a little different when facing an eight-inch blade.”
“That said, I guess the coalition will actually send all their Lib Dems to try and take our pensions first. Acceptable losses and all that.”
56 year-old Religious Studies teacher Miriam Price told us, ”I’d rather my pension rights stayed the same, but it’s a comfort to know that if the government do try to take what’s mine then I’ll be perfectly within my rights to cut them up.”
NT
XXL
Scientists have been left stunned at research which led to the discovery of a direct link between people being greedy and people getting fat.
The shock news was uncovered by researchers tasked with investigating the impact of stuffing one’s face at regular intervals with cheap snacks and the exponential increase in the general girth of the British public.
Researcher Roger Part detailed the efforts that went into determining the link, “It was very much a case of buying as many crisps, sweets and chocolate as we could, find and then placing them all in front of what you might call a ‘stereotypical fat person’ – and then leaving them on their own for a short period of time.”
“The results were astonishing.”
“In almost every instance the fat person relentlessly blazed a trail through every item put before them.”
“But that wasn’t the most shocking bit.”
“What really knocked us off our chair was that they actually got fatter over the period we carried out the daily tests.”
Greed isn’t good
Part went one, “We feel these surprising results fully justify the sixth months we spent conducting our research, and the funding we secured to do it.”
28 year-old fat person, Charlie Williams, told us he was disappointed with the findings, insisting that he was not given a chance to contribute to the results.
“Its not greed that leads fat people to eat helpless quantities of rubbish food.”
“Its tests like these that provide an endless parade of food high in fat content.”
“Supermarkets carry out these test daily, and they don’t exclude anyone.”
NT
28 year-old fat person, Charlie Williams, told us he was disappointed with the findings, insisting that he was not given a chance to contribute to the results.
“Its not greed that leads fat people to eat helpless quantities of rubbish food.”
“Its tests like these that provide an endless parade of food high in fat content.”
“Supermarkets carry out these test daily, and they don’t exclude anyone.”
NT
Overload
BRITAIN'S already-overstretched Ikea stores cannot cope with a growing population, it was claimed last night.
Billy, don't be a hero
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Imagine Ikea's deliberately labyrinthine corridors blocked with sweaty, heavy masses of humanity clambering mercilessly over each other, crushing the weak and the elderly underfoot in their relentless quest for the nice things.
"OK you don't have to imagine it, you could just visit this Saturday, but the trust me it's going to get worse.
"There will soon ten million extra humans and they'll each want, at the very least, a Billy bookcase and a Kulla pendant lamp.
"Even those few who don't want anything specific from Ikea will still go there every other Saturday, just because.
"When product stocks inevitably run out, shoppers will refuse to leave, afraid that things will be re-stocked and sold out again in their absence.
"Thus we will see the beginnings of a permanent mass migration into Ikea, with families sleeping on the demonstration futons, subsisting on meatballs and 99p breakfasts.
"Inevitably tribal groups will form, the natives of each department forging their own specific cultural identities. There will be bloody battles over the stores' best products, with the kitchen-section dwellers likely to dominate because they'll have all the sharp objects.
"As conditions within the stores deteriorate faeces and blood will cake the walls. Residents or 'Ikeans' will barricade the doors with colour co-ordinated Ektorp sofas while those desperate civilians left outside will pound at the walls until their fists are bloody."
Plumber Tom Logan said: “We're letting more and more people into the country when there aren't enough Billy bookcases for those who were born here.
"But if they are going to come here and buy our cheap but modish furniture, they should at least have the decency to shop online."
DMash
YTS
BRITISH businesses have been urged to hire surly, undereducated malcontents because at least they are not foreign.
Dr Duncan Smith is to employ four school leavers to clean his big glass jars
He added: "If they do not then the jobs will go to people who travelled here from another area on the surface of the Earth.
"Then the young people here will not have jobs unless they then travel to yet another area on the surface of the Earth. There will then be people travelling all over the Earth's surface and doing jobs when they get there. It is a recipe for chaos."
He now wants British companies to throw their business plans into the bin and hope that by employing indigenous youngsters they will be able to get the computers and furniture out of the building before it burns to the ground.
A spokesman for the Confederation of British Industry said: "We don't want to employ foreigners. We only do it because we want things to actually work and not be completely terrible all the time.
"Otherwise, yeah, totally."
Kyle Stephenson, 19, from Peterborough, said: "I went for a job last week and they gave it to some Bulgarian just because he didn't sit there wanking the whole time."
Dr Duncan Smith stressed there should still be some immigrants allowed into Britain so he can then kidnap them and start injecting them with unusual drug combinations to see what happens.
He said: "Do my bidding or all my exciting work with conjoined twins and attaching feet to the heads of Welshmen will be for nothing."
DMash
And Another
After the government urged UK firms to employ more young Britons rather than relying on labour from abroad, firms have been quick to say they don’t employ young Britons because of their years of experience in actually employing young Britons.
Secretary for State and Pensions Iain Duncan-Smith said that just because workers from abroad were better qualified, cost less, and had a much better work ethic, was no reason to employ them ahead of their unemployed British counterparts.
“Employing the best candidate for the job is such short-term thinking,” Duncan-Smith told a conference in Madrid.
“Employing a domestically-grown benefit consumption unit does much for the country at a time when we choose not to, so give them a job. Pretty please?”
“You never know, you might be really really lucky and get one of the good ones. But that’s not a guarantee and my lawyers assure me you can’t hold me to it.”
Employ Britons – please
Small business owners have told Duncan-Smith that they would be happy to employ a young Briton, just as soon as they stop being thoroughly horrendous human beings.
Forman Mike Jones told us, “I work on a lot of building sites, and in my experience if you tell a Pole to dig a hole he’ll keep going until you stay ‘stop’, or he is ankle deep in molten lava.”
“But ask a British youngster to do the same thing and they’ll insist they’ve got the wrong type of gloves before invoking a full health and safety assessment. So yeah, I won’t be using any of them, thanks.”
British youngster Dave Williams told us, “Duncan-Smith wants me to break my back doing a foreigner’s job for £5.93 an hour? No thanks, Jeremy Kyle is on in a minute.”
NT
Forman Mike Jones told us, “I work on a lot of building sites, and in my experience if you tell a Pole to dig a hole he’ll keep going until you stay ‘stop’, or he is ankle deep in molten lava.”
“But ask a British youngster to do the same thing and they’ll insist they’ve got the wrong type of gloves before invoking a full health and safety assessment. So yeah, I won’t be using any of them, thanks.”
British youngster Dave Williams told us, “Duncan-Smith wants me to break my back doing a foreigner’s job for £5.93 an hour? No thanks, Jeremy Kyle is on in a minute.”
NT
Always a Reason
The Daily Mail is reporting that Andy Murray was knocked out of Wimbledon because his commute was slightly extended during yesterday’s strike by teaching professionals.
Murray lost the match by three sets to one, leaving the Daily Mail to publish a complex series of cause and effects statements laying the fault of his exit purely at the feet of striking unionised workers.
Mail editor Paul Dacre explained, “Had the schools been open yesterday, Andy would never had been two minutes late for his training session and he would have been prepared enough to make it to the final.”
“They are directly responsible for the death of Britain’s Wimbledon dream.”
“I hope they’re happy.”
Murray out due to teacher strike
Analysts have warned that the Daily Mail’s tenuous grasp on the nature of cause and effect runs the risk of leaving them with a readership even more poorly-informed than they currently are.
Non-moron Simon Matthews told us, “The linking of two events separated by such distance, and implying direct causality between them, is the type of reporting you could only see in the Daily Mail.”
“But whilst we’re talking about them, did you know there was a guy who died in a car crash this morning only because he stopped to buy a Daily Mail?”
“He’d have missed the accident completely if the Mail hadn’t published a paper today.”
“I hope Paul Dacre is happy with all that blood on his hands.”
NT
Murray lost the match by three sets to one, leaving the Daily Mail to publish a complex series of cause and effects statements laying the fault of his exit purely at the feet of striking unionised workers.
Mail editor Paul Dacre explained, “Had the schools been open yesterday, Andy would never had been two minutes late for his training session and he would have been prepared enough to make it to the final.”
“They are directly responsible for the death of Britain’s Wimbledon dream.”
“I hope they’re happy.”
Murray out due to teacher strike
Analysts have warned that the Daily Mail’s tenuous grasp on the nature of cause and effect runs the risk of leaving them with a readership even more poorly-informed than they currently are.
Non-moron Simon Matthews told us, “The linking of two events separated by such distance, and implying direct causality between them, is the type of reporting you could only see in the Daily Mail.”
“But whilst we’re talking about them, did you know there was a guy who died in a car crash this morning only because he stopped to buy a Daily Mail?”
“He’d have missed the accident completely if the Mail hadn’t published a paper today.”
“I hope Paul Dacre is happy with all that blood on his hands.”
NT
War by Numbers
America's bills for policing the world:
$3.7 trillion
The minimum total cost of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, according to Costs of War
$4.4 trillion
The maximum total cost of the wars, according to Costs of War
$1.4 trillion
Congress' estimated cost of the wars through the end of 2012, according to the Congressional Research Service
$2.7 trillion
Total spending in Afghanistan alone since the September 11 attacks, according to Costs of War
$934 billion
High-end estimate of veterans benefits costs through 2050
$453 billion
Projected war-related spending between 2012 and 2050
$185 billion
Estimated cost of interest payments for money borrowed to fight these wars
4,466
Number of American troops who have died in Iraq
1,534
Number of American troops who have died in Afghanistan
125,000
Costs of War's estimate of civilian deaths in Iraq
7.8 million
Number of people who have been displaced by the conflicts, which is "equal to the combined population of Connecticut and Kentucky," according to Merco Press
33,000
Number of troops Obama plans to withdraw by Election Day 2012
Nearly 70,000
Number of troops who will remain
$3.7 trillion
The minimum total cost of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, according to Costs of War
$4.4 trillion
The maximum total cost of the wars, according to Costs of War
$1.4 trillion
Congress' estimated cost of the wars through the end of 2012, according to the Congressional Research Service
$2.7 trillion
Total spending in Afghanistan alone since the September 11 attacks, according to Costs of War
$934 billion
High-end estimate of veterans benefits costs through 2050
$453 billion
Projected war-related spending between 2012 and 2050
$185 billion
Estimated cost of interest payments for money borrowed to fight these wars
4,466
Number of American troops who have died in Iraq
1,534
Number of American troops who have died in Afghanistan
125,000
Costs of War's estimate of civilian deaths in Iraq
7.8 million
Number of people who have been displaced by the conflicts, which is "equal to the combined population of Connecticut and Kentucky," according to Merco Press
33,000
Number of troops Obama plans to withdraw by Election Day 2012
Nearly 70,000
Number of troops who will remain
Made For Each Other
I'm not sure whom I feel more sorry for. Neither, I guess- they will get on fine as they both sound as obnoxious as each other. I if this is for real? A mother to her future m-i-l, and not for the faint hearted...
There is also some more on this at TTel.
It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you.
Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you. It may just be possible to get through to you though. I do hope so.
If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste. There are plenty of finishing schools around.
Please, for your own good, for Freddie’s sake and for your future involvement with the Bourne family, do something as soon as possible.
Here are a few examples of your lack of manners:I understand your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding. (There is nothing wrong with that except that convention is such that one might presume they would have saved over the years for their daughters’ marriages.)
- When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something. You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else. You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.
- When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early – you fall in line with house norms.
- You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.
- You should have hand-written a card to me. You have never written to thank me when you have stayed.
- You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why.
- No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.
If this is the case, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.
There is also some more on this at TTel.
Cuba to Buy and Sell
The authorities in Cuba have released more details of their plans to allow people to buy and sell their cars and homes for the first time in 50 years.
The new laws will open up a private property market and enable Cubans to buy any car they can afford.
Private property has been severely restricted on the Communist-run island since the revolution in 1959.
The proposed laws, which still have to be passed by parliament, are part of a shake-up of Cuba's struggling economy.
Communist Party newspaper Granma published details of the plans for the new laws, which it said had been discussed in a recent meeting of top government officials.
Under the proposed laws, which are expected to be passed by parliament by the end of the year, Cubans will be allowed to sell their home for money.
The new laws will open up a private property market and enable Cubans to buy any car they can afford.
Private property has been severely restricted on the Communist-run island since the revolution in 1959.
The proposed laws, which still have to be passed by parliament, are part of a shake-up of Cuba's struggling economy.
Communist Party newspaper Granma published details of the plans for the new laws, which it said had been discussed in a recent meeting of top government officials.
Under the proposed laws, which are expected to be passed by parliament by the end of the year, Cubans will be allowed to sell their home for money.
BBC
Back To It
Tottenham have applied for public funding to help resurrect the plan to redevelop their White Hart Lane home. In 2008, the Northumberland Development Project was launched by Spurs to turn the ground into a 60 000-seat stadium.
However, soaring costs meant the plan, which involved building a new stadium on the current site, was shelved. Spurs chairman Daniel Levy said:
"We are working hard to make the NDP scheme viable and enable us to stay in Tottenham and redevelop our existing site. Public sector assistance for infrastructure and public realm works would enable us to deliver the project and the RGF represents the single most important route for funding.
Our hope must be that there is a recognition of the real need for investment in the Northumberland Park ward and that this project presents a real opportunity to deliver sustainable long-term, private sector-led regeneration."
More at the BBC
But Better for the Burds
England finally get all three points in the WC after coming back from 0-1 down, against the Kiwi ladies. Japan next Tuesday and a draw should be enough to see them through to the last eight.
Same, Same and No Different
Murray chokes again in the Wimbledon semis to Nadal. Anyone really think any differently?
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Flick Round
Brits have been revealed as a nation of holiday "neat-freaks", with a huge 59% admitting to tidying their own hotel rooms so it's clean when the cleaners arrive.
Despite going on holiday to relax, a study has found Brits to be a nation of compulsive cleaners, with most of people tidying hotel rooms before the hotel staff come in.
Before leaving for home, 60% of those surveyed admit they make the bed, 45% fold the towels and more than one in 10 (11%) even go as far as cleaning the toilet.
Asked why, 59% said it was "rude" to leave a hotel room in a state, 45% were eager not to be labelled "messy" by hotel staff and a 4% said they just enjoyed cleaning.
We always tidy up when we get Housekeeping in- it's only being polite, after all.
Despite going on holiday to relax, a study has found Brits to be a nation of compulsive cleaners, with most of people tidying hotel rooms before the hotel staff come in.
Before leaving for home, 60% of those surveyed admit they make the bed, 45% fold the towels and more than one in 10 (11%) even go as far as cleaning the toilet.
Asked why, 59% said it was "rude" to leave a hotel room in a state, 45% were eager not to be labelled "messy" by hotel staff and a 4% said they just enjoyed cleaning.
We always tidy up when we get Housekeeping in- it's only being polite, after all.
Crazy
A pub in New Zealand has started selling a rather odd drink- apple flavoured horse semen.
Bosses at The Green Man Pub in Wellington say they started offering the spunky 30 ml shots after coming up with it for a food contest, and they have been blown away by the demand for the £12 drink which is served chilled and is said to contain about 300 million individual horse sperm cells.
Women have been more curious than men about the unique drink, though men have often dared each other into downing one.
Bosses at The Green Man Pub in Wellington say they started offering the spunky 30 ml shots after coming up with it for a food contest, and they have been blown away by the demand for the £12 drink which is served chilled and is said to contain about 300 million individual horse sperm cells.
Women have been more curious than men about the unique drink, though men have often dared each other into downing one.
The Cost of Kids
Two thirds of kids have at least one item of designer clothing in their wardrobe and a third owned their first designer item by the age of two, it's been found, after a study polled parents of school-age children to discover what was in their wardrobes and how much it had all cost.
Researchers found the average cost of a child's wardrobe is now £1 677 with 62% of children owning at least one item of designer label clothing.
Influenced by the rise of mini "celebs" such as Suri Cruise, Romeo Beckham and Kingston Rossdale (who?) parents now fork out on average £764 a year on kiddy attire.
The average child was also found to have more than 154 items of clothing in their wardrobe, a shoe collection valued at over £190 and a toy collection worth £1 676.
Researchers found the average cost of a child's wardrobe is now £1 677 with 62% of children owning at least one item of designer label clothing.
Influenced by the rise of mini "celebs" such as Suri Cruise, Romeo Beckham and Kingston Rossdale (who?) parents now fork out on average £764 a year on kiddy attire.
The average child was also found to have more than 154 items of clothing in their wardrobe, a shoe collection valued at over £190 and a toy collection worth £1 676.
How?
ENGLAND have been moved to fourth in the world rankings in a move clearly designed to flip the FA the bird.
He's just trying to enjoy himself
Blatter said: "No, England, you're tons better than Brazil or Argentina, I really really mean that and as a reward I’m going to take the World Cup off Russia and let you hav...AAAAAHHHH!!!! SICK BURN!"
He then ran around FIFA headquarters shouting 'Psych!' for several minutes before collapsing onto a chaise longue made entirely out of financial inducements and restoring his energy with a 12-course snack.
Footballologist Wayne Hayes said: "If we were to take England's rating at face value, we'd have to accept that by the time you got to teams in the 25-plus ranking you'd be looking at a group of seven vaguely-humanoid beings that could identify a football if induced to do so with a lump of raw meat.
"By rating Wales at 114th, FIFA are essentially crediting them with less sentience than an Argos biro, which I’m not necessarily saying is wrong."
Fifa will release England's true rating later today, expected to be somewhere in the 50s, dropping five places every time the FA use the word 'corruption'.
Fabio Capello said: "When I first saw that we are fourth, I watch training DVDs of Peter Crouch and John Terry and think - how do you say? - 'my saggy left bollock are we fourth'."
DMash
Union Blues
AS the country's public servants once again challenge Britain to notice the difference, experts have issued an essential guide to national strike etiquette.
Do try not to spray tea directly into their face
National strike dos and don'ts:
When crossing a picket line do so with poise and grace. Imagine one is trying to balance a badly educated child on one's head.
However, it is important to remember you are now in the striker's place of entitlement. The striker is your host and you should treat them with respect. Do not put your feet up on the seats they put their feet up on.
If one finds oneself eating lunch in the same restaurant as a striker, always use a dessert fork to stab them in the face when when they start helping themselves to a third of your soup.
Never be arrogant or condescending - particularly when pointing out the horrendous spelling mistakes on a teacher's placard.
Listen patiently and politely to the striker as he or she explains loudly why their pension needs to be better than yours, before smiling and saying 'thank you so much, that was very entertaining'. You should then offer them a sweet - perhaps a Rolo or a Chewitt.
Do not burp, spit or pick your nose at them.
A man should always open a door for a lady striker, even though she will find it violently sexist.
If the striker continues to insist that you should pay for his pension and that he should retire five years earlier than you, always say 'pardon me?' rather than 'huh?', 'come again?' or 'what in the name of shitting fuck are you talking about you delusional, self-serving piss-bucket?'.
DMash
All Out
TOMORROW'S public sector strike could leave UK airports exactly the same in every conceivable way, it was warned last night.
Eurotunnel has also warned that everything could be catastrophically normal
Roy Hobbs, PCS shop steward at Gatwick, said: "You see this queue that stretches the full length of the terminal, full of smelly, desperate people with terrifying thousand-yard stares? It'll be very similar to that.
"If only the government would abandon its ideological crusade and allow me and my friends to help ourselves to other people's money, then travellers would not have to not notice any difference whatsoever.
"But as things stand, thousands of people are going to turn up here tomorrow expecting it to be somehow - somehow - even worse than it is day after day after day and they are going to be sorely disappointed. I hope Mr Cameron can live with that."
Meanwhile Unison has warned that a strike by its members would leave taxpayers being completely ignored by truculent council workers, while the National Union of Teachers stressed their walk-out would lead to millions of children not learning how to read and write properly in the 21st Century.
A Unison spokesman said: "Unless the government hands over your pin number - and does so with a smile on its face - then we will keep making things exactly the same as they are, down to the finest detail, for a very, very long time."
Traveller Tom Logan, who was obviously going to turn up at Gatwick 42 hours early anyway because he has been there before, mumbled into his £3.75 cup of brown: "Fucking pensions… won't need a fucking pension when they're all locked up in my dungeon of unbearable fucking pain.
"Electrodes… starving rats… oh look, here come the hot pins…"
"How you liking me now, Mr Pension?"
DMash
Gan Tits Up- 9
2 :: Soap Opera Digest
The magazine's future has been ruined by two trends. The first is the number of cancellations of soap operas. Long-lived shows which include "All My Children" and "One Life to Live" have been shuttered and replaced by cheaper talk shows. The other insurmountable challenge is the wide availability of details on soap operas online. Soap Opera Digest's first quarter advertising pages fell 21% in the first quarter and revenue was down 18% to $4 million. In 2000, the magazine's circulation was in excess of 1.1 million readers. By 2005 it fell below 500,000 where it has remained for the last 5 years.
Gan Tits Up- 10
1 :: Nokia
Nokia is the world's largest handset company. But it has a very modest presence in the rapidly-growing smartphone industry dominated by Apple, Blackberry, HTC, and Samsung. Microsoft, which is Nokia's primary software partner, could easily buy the company and is often mentioned as a suitor. The world's largest software company recently moved further into the telecom industry though its purchase of VoIP giant Skype which has 170 million active customers. Two other large firms have many reasons to buy Nokia: Samsung and LG Electronics have the scale and balance sheet to takeover Nokia.
Gan Tits Up- 7
4 :: Kellogg's Corn Pops
Sales of the brand dropped 18% over the year that ended in April and their sales are barely a third of brands like Cheerios and Frosted Flakes. There is also profit margin pressure on Corn Pops because of the sharp increase in corn prices.
Gan Tits Up- 8
3 :: MySpace
MySpace, once the world's largest social network, died a long time ago. It will be buried soon. News Corp is looking for a buyer this year for as little as $20 million after paying $580 million in 2005. MySpace held the top spot among social networks based on visitors from mid-2006 until mid-2008, when it was overtaken by Facebook. Its audience is currently estimated to be less that 20 million visitors in the US. News Corp has hinted it will close MySpace if it does not find a buyer.
Gan Tits Up- 4
7 :: American Apparel
The once-hip retailer reached the brink of bankruptcy earlier this year. It currently trades as a penny stock. Store sales have declined and the firm likely will continue to post losses. American Apparel is under gross margin pressure because of the rise in cotton prices. The retailer raised $14.9 million in April by selling shares at a discount of 43% to a group of private investors. It does not help matters that the company's founder and CEO, Dov Charney, has been a defendant in several lawsuits filed by former employees alleging sexual harassment.
Gan Tits Up- 5
6 :: Sears
The parent of Sears and Kmart-Sears Holdings is in a lot of trouble. Total revenue dropped $341 million to $9.7 billion for the last quarter. New CEO Lou D'Ambrosio recently said of the last quarter that, "we also fell short on executing with excellence." Shares are down 55% during the last five years. The path D'Ambrosio is likely to take is to consolidate two brand into one-keeping the better performing Kmart and shuttering Sears.
Gan Tits Up- 6
5 :: Sony Ericsson
In a period when smartphone sales worldwide are rising by double digits and sales of the iPhone double year over year, Sony Ericsson's unit sales dropped from 97 million in 2008 to 43 million last year. New competitors like HTC now outsell Sony Ericsson by widening numbers. Management expects several more quarters of falling sales and the company has laid off thousands of people. There have been rumors that Sony will take over the operation, rebrand the handsets with its name, and market them in tandem with its PlayStation 3 consoles and VAIO PCs.
Gan Tits Up- 3
8 :: Saab
Saab was never more than a niche brand in an industry dominated by very large players such as Ford and Chevrolet. GM decided to jettison the brand in late 2008, and the small company quickly became insolvent. Saab finally found a buyer in high-end car maker Spyker which took control of the company last year. Spyker quickly ran low on money. Only 32,000 Saabs were sold in 2010. Pang Da Automobile agreed to take an equity stake in the company. But the agreement is not binding, and with a potential of global sales which are still below 50,000 a year, Saab is no longer a financially viable brand.
Gan Tits Up- 1
10 Brands That Will Die in 2012- as per The Atlantic
10 :: Sony Pictures
Sony has a studio production arm which has nothing to do with its core businesses of consumer electronics and gaming. Sony bought what was Columbia Tri-Star Picture in 1989 for $3.4 billion. This entertainment operation has done poorly recently. Revenue dropped 15% this year. Its gaming system group is under siege by Microsoft and Nintendo, and its consumer electronics group faces an overwhelming challenge from Apple. The company's future prospects have been further damaged by the Japan earthquake and the hack of its large PlayStation Network. Sony Entertainment will disappear with the sale of its assets.
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