A Wee Dram

The government plans to relax Britain's strict laws governing drink measurements in pubs and bars this summer so expect to see some odd sized drinks.  The Guardian helps get to the bottom of it.

A splash (around 3.7ml)

In beer, this may fail to quench your thirst – but if tequila's your poison, it could be a sensible move. AKA a fluid dram. But ask for a "wee dram" of whisky in Scotland, and you'll get 10 times as much. And, if you're not Scottish, probably a flinty stare.

A pony (around 25ml)

A half or "short" shot. Ordering a "pony of bourbon" may confer the pleasing, if fleeting, sensation of being a cowboy in a dusty wild west saloon.

A jigger (around 35ml)

A word for a single shot – though some mixologists call a "jigger" a "pony" (are you following at the back?). Request a jigger of flaming sambuca, however, and you may undermine the term's cachet.

A gill/noggin (a quarter of a pint; 142ml)

A good option for the time-pressed, for whom even a "swift half" takes too long to drink. Be sure to pronounce either word (used interchangeably, though the delights of the slightly better-known "gill" are eulogised in the folk song The Barley Mow) clearly, for fear of offending bar-staff or fellow drinkers.

A quart (two pints; 1.1 litres)

You'll need an especially capacious beer glass to try this – and possibly a straw, as it could prove too heavy to lift to the lips. Elbow-strain and rapid inebriation may follow.

A yard (around two and a half pints, or 1.4 litres)

Request a yard of ale to play the pub game beloved of men with beards and holey cardigans; down it in less than five seconds, and you'll find yourself in the Guinness Book of Records. Request it with anything stronger, and prepare to be very, very ill – and to look very, very silly.