100 Objects Part 1

1 Andy Schleck's bike chain

Leading the defending Tour de France champion Alberto Contador by 31 seconds before the 15th stage, Schleck ended it eight seconds behind having popped his chain when forging ahead 24km from home. Taking advantage of such a misfortune is cycling's equivalent of eating peas with a knife but Contador won the race on the Champs Elysées by exactly the 39 seconds he gained thanks to Schleck's chain pain.

2 An anthracite rugby jersey

Having tried imperial purple last year England went for an anthracite kit for the autumn international against Australia to "open up new revenue streams" according to the candid marketing men or, as one insider had it, to see if they conceded fewer breakdown penalties in a "less visible" strip. Either way England ended up glad to be grey, demolishing Australia 35-18.

3 AP McCoy's whip

McCoy made it 15th time lucky by winning the Grand National on Don't Push It, drawing every ounce of speed and stamina out of the horse to cross the line. At the moment of victory he brandished the whip at the crowd, with the sort of expression last seen when his compatriot Dennis Taylor won the World Snooker Championship and waggled his cue above his head.

4 Ashley Cole's mobile

Cole proved spectacularly unlucky even by his own standards when saucy photos he'd taken of himself somehow ended up being sent to a topless model of his acquaintance by "a friend of a friend". Pull the other one, Ashley. It plays Jingle Bells.

5 Audley Harrison's unused left glove

Ten years on from his Olympic gold, Harrison got his last chance to grab his "destiny" in both fists and become world heavyweight champion, an absurd match that came about because of the charity of his former sparring partner David Haye and the champion's keen eye for quick profit. Harrison landed one punch with his right in the 7min and 53sec the cakewalk lasted and left his left as unblemished as the roll call of great British prizefighters is by his existence.

6 The away dug-out in Port Elizabeth

Cunning plans were conspicuous by their absence, but playing Blackadder to his coach Stuart Pearce's Baldrick in their dug-out at Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium during England's nervy World Cup win over Slovenia, Fabio Capello humiliated his minion with a series of contradictory instructions, before finally elbowing him off the bench.

7 A bag containing chicken and lager

With Northumbria police force in a tense stand-off with murderer Raoul Moat, the fugitive was threatening suicide. Cue: concerned citizen and former England international Paul Gascoigne, who helpfully pitched up at the scene with a fishing rod, a can of lager, a dressing gown and some fried chicken. But still Gazza was denied access to "Moaty".

8 A Berlusconi face mask

Upon donning a not-quite-as-rubbery-as-the-real-thing Silvio Berlusconi mask at the San Siro to celebrate his side's win in a Milan derby, Inter defender Marco Materazzi had some explaining to do. "It was just a derby prank, nothing more," chuckled the Matrix, putting paid to rumours he'd worn the mask in the hope of attracting sexier, younger girls.

9 The black ball at the World Open

Ronnie O'Sullivan confidently potted the pink to take his break to 140 at snooker's World Open in September but instead of sinking the black, asked the referee how much the bonus for scoring the maximum break would be. On being told it was a mere £4,000, £161,000 less than he had earned for one in 1997, there was a substantial delay before O'Sullivan potted it for "the fans".

10 A bottle of vodka

It was appropriate that a grubby scene – John Higgins was in May alleged to have been caught on camera arranging to throw a match – was toasted with vodka rather than champagne. Higgins was later cleared of conspiring to fix matches and, after a six-month suspension, won the UK Championship this month.

11 The Jawaharlal Nehru Stadium bridge

To add to the sanitary problems putting athletes off attending the Delhi Commonwealth Games, a series of DIY SOS bodged building jobs also put the willies up competitors. Twelve days before the Games began, a pedestrian footbridge collapsed, injuring 23, and brought Delhi's chief minister Sheila Dikshit to prominence and scatalogical japing about her name from Australia threatened a diplomatic incident.

12 A burning Range Rover

When a Hexham judge ordered Newcastle striker Andy Carroll to live with club captain Kevin Nolan, everyone wondered what could possibly go wrong. One late-night arson attack on his brand new chrome-plated Range Rover later, they wondered no more…

13 The cards in Howard Webb's pocket

With Dutch cloggers Mark van Bommel and Nigel de Jong somehow still on the pitch at the end of the World Cup final, referee Webb was criticised for not dispensing enough justice. He'd found time to book nine Dutchmen and five Spaniards, mind.

14 A case of beer

Presumably in an attempt to convince redneck America that he's just an ordinary regular guy Barack Obama bet the Canadian prime minister, Stephen Harper, a crate of brewskis the US would win the Olympic final against Canada. Canada took the gold and Obama had to shell out for 24 Molson Canadian.

15 A casino betting chip

Alan Pardew was in the wilderness until Mike Ashley gave Chris Hughton the chop. Pardew was his replacement, partly because of a friendship he had forged with Newcastle's managing director, Derek Llambias, during visits to a casino. Pardew may want to get used to gambling with Ashley as a boss.

16 A Celtic Manor mop

The Gwent rain came in deluges on the Friday and Sunday of the 38th Ryder Cup pushing the competition into a Monday finish and had it not been for the soaking greenkeepers, drowned rats with über mop devices they would be playing still.

17 Cheryl Cole's wedding ring

In an attempt to end speculation that she wasn't wearing her wedding ring to send a message to philandering husband Ashley, Cheryl Cole said "this has been going on for too long and is getting boring". If only all her observations on The X-Factor were that astute.

18 A chicken burger

Despite panicked calls for a comeback, Shane Warne has made just one onfield contribution in the Ashes, at Adelaide, where beaming from a sightscreen about to sink his neon teeth into a McDonald's Legend Chicken burger, he became the only Australian bowler to stop Kevin Pietersen in his tracks during his withering seven-hour double hundred.

19 A cow

Alex Ferguson was talking about Wayne Rooney and the allure of Manchester City's new riches when he mused in October: "Sometimes you look in a field and you see a cow and you think it's a better cow than the one you've got in your own field." Nice to see him staying off the horses.

20 The ball bitten by Shahid Afridi

By accepting the Test captaincy later in the year Afridi bit off more than he could chew and retired from the format after one game. At the Waca in January a less metaphorical dental indignity saw him gnaw the ball in the manner of a squirrel deshelling a nut. It cost him 3m rupees and a two-match ban.