100 Objects Part 2

21 The crossbar at Free State Stadium

"Nobody can tell me Germany were a lot better than us," moaned a deluded Frank Lampard after England's humiliating World Cup exit, so we must point our Big Finger of Blame at the woodwork. Specifically, the crossbar that denied Lamps when England were only 2-1 down.

22 A curry in Southall

Zulqarnain Haider, the Pakistan wicketkeeper, fled Dubai in November before Pakistan's fourth and fifth ODIs against South Africa and ended up in London, claiming asylum and threats by match-fixers. He chose Chaudhry's TKC restaurant on Southall's Broadway for a chaotic press conference to explain his actions before the bhajis.

23 Diego Maradona's lavatory

Before arriving for the World Cup in South Africa, Diego Maradona's advance reconnaissance scouts found the lavatories provided for the Argentina manager in his Pretoria hotel to be substandard. They were replaced with deluxe versions featuring a heated seat, a warm air blow-dryer and front and rear bidet wands at a cost of £1,400.

24 Drew Brees's Super Bowl ring

For years, the New Orleans Saints had been a running joke in the NFL, and a pretty unfunny one for their fans. But this year under the guidance of their gunslinging quarterback, Drew Brees, they beat Indianapolis Colts at the Super Bowl. It was a victory for perennial underdogs and, more importantly, a city that has suffered terribly in recent years.

25 Dustin Johnson's club

Johnson took a one-shot lead on to the 18th tee of the final round of the USPGA Championship at Whistling Straits but bogeyed the hole and was set for a three-man play‑off. Eagle-eyed officials, however, had other plans, penalising him two strokes for grounding his club in a bunker that had about as much sand in it as a six-inch square of glasspaper. Johnson had not realised he was in a sand trap but his descent to fifth meant he would not risk grounding his club within a mile of a cat litter box in future.

26 Dutch fans' orange dresses

Looking this foxy shouldn't be a crime, unless Fifa are in town and you've been arrested and incarcerated for the heinous crime of wearing an orange mini-dress deemed to be – shock, horror – advertising a non-designated Fifa-unfriendly lager. These Dutch models had their knockers, Sepp Blatter, unsurprisingly, chief among them.

27 Fabio Capello's cap

The "Wally with the Brolly" headlines put paid to covering one's thatch in the manner of Steve McClaren. For England's defeat by France in November, Fabio Capello opted for an England baseball cap to keep his specs dry and woke to "Prat in a Hat" derision instead.

28 A Father's Day card

When Graeme McDowell teed off at this year's US Open the last time a player from the UK had won a major was a distant memory. A few days later he had given his dad, Kenny, the ideal father's day gift: victory at Pebble Beach. It beats a Top Gear DVD anyway.

29 Felipe Massa's car radio

"Fernando is faster than you." Those words, uttered in Teesside tones by his engineer Rob Smedley, must make Massa sit bolt upright in bed in a cold sweat. In the old days you could "not see" a pit board but now the message comes straight to your earphones. Massa can twiddle all the knobs he likes but he won't find one on his Ferrari that drowns out Smedley in favour of Smooth FM.

30 A fire extinguisher

When the Cosworth engine in Heikki Kovalainen's Lotus let go three laps from the end of the Singapore grand prix flames soon enveloped the rear of the car. Despite the temptation to abandon ship asap he stopped at a safe place on the start-finish straight where a Williams mechanic could pass him a fire extinguisher. Kovalainen doused the flames himself and created one of the most iconic images of F1 2010.

31 Gary Neville's socks

In one of his tedious demands for "respect", Carlos Tevez branded Neville a "sock-sucker" and "a moron" after the Manchester United substitute had flipped his former team-mate the bird during a derby. Carlos Tevez is 26. Gary Neville is 35.

32 Gérard Houllier's FFF contract

When is an Aston Villa manager not an Aston Villa manager? When he's still working for the French Football Federation apparently. "Unfortunately I won't be at the Stoke game because I'm employed by the French FA," Houllier announced on his unveiling in September, perhaps the least convincing leap into a new managerial era in Premier League history.

33 The Georgian flag

Nodar Kumaritashvili, a 21-year‑old luger from Georgia, was killed in practice hours before the Winter Olympics was due to start. The remaining seven members of the Georgian Olympic delegation marched into BC Place Stadium in Vancouver later that day for the opening ceremony, behind a flag draped with a black ribbon, and spectators, officials and competitors stood as one and applauded.

34 The goalpost in Guangzhou

Fifa's decision to stage the 2022 World Cup in Qatar was the source of much global mirth, but not as much as that prompted by the Qatari teenager Khalfan Fahad's decision to hit this upright from a yard out with the goal gaping in an Asian Games quarter-final. Never mind, at least he isn't gay or drunk in public.

35 A golf buggy

The morning after Wales had beaten Scotland in the Six Nations, Andy Powell failed a breath test at 6.30am at Cardiff West service station on the M4 having had the bright idea of taking a team hotel golf buggy up the motorway in pursuit of a hot breakfast. The player, nicknamed "Brain Dead", was dropped, fined and banned from driving.

36 A Jabulani

The official match ball for South Africa 2010, the Jabulani was subjected to almost universal criticism from those forced to play with it, the surprise exceptions being footballers on lucrative sponsorship deals with its manufacturer.

37 Jessica Ennis's javelin

The reigning heptathlon world champion was under pressure at the European Championships and needed a good performance in one of her weaker events. She produced 46.71m, a personal best and went on to secure gold. A fantastic throw and around 6m further than Kelly Sotherton's PB.

38 Joe Worsley's piano

Worsley endured a poor start to the Premiership season. More striking was the Wasps forward's excuse. "It's been heartbreaking having my piano in storage. It helps me perform better ... I know people will say, 'Oh cry me a river', but it's true." Sounds like he's taking requests.

39 John Henry's cigar

Liverpool were transformed this year when hated co-owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett were ousted by their own illiquidity, the Royal Bank of Scotland and the notorious cigar-wielding trading supremo John W Henry. The Boston Red Sox owner's giant WC Fields stogie became an icon as the club's saviour wandered the Anfield corridors, tickling Jamie Carragher under the chin and calling him "my chickadee".

40 Kevin Davies's toaster

Feeling peckish at home but repeatedly incinerating his Pop Tarts, the Bolton skipper made national headlines by proving too much of a Luddite to be able to use his toaster, but technically savvy enough to upload a photo of it on Twitter seeking advice. "How do you reduce the heat?" he pleaded. You don't, Kevin. You reduce the time.