Hello - Australian team dressing room
Hello mate... Can I speak to Ricky Ponting please.
Sorry mate - he's just gone out to bat
It's OK - I'll hold.
Q: What is the main function of the Australia coach?
A: To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q: Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the Australian team?
A: The woman who ironed the cricket whites.
Q: Why don't Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A: Because they never catch anything.
Q: What's the Aussie version of a hat trick?
A: Three runs in three balls.
Q: What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A: Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q: What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Australian batsmen?
A: The walk back to the pavilion.
Q: What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A: The entire Australian innings.
Q: What's the Australian version of LBW?
A: Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q: Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
A: Because they can't spell beer.
Q: What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?
A: Retired
Q: What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne?
A: A waiter
Q: What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A: A fisherman
Q; Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
A: They haven't got any openers Sorry mate - he's just gone out to bat
It's OK - I'll hold.
Q: What is the main function of the Australia coach?
A: To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q: Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the Australian team?
A: The woman who ironed the cricket whites.
Q: Why don't Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A: Because they never catch anything.
Q: What's the Aussie version of a hat trick?
A: Three runs in three balls.
Q: What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A: Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q: What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Australian batsmen?
A: The walk back to the pavilion.
Q: What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A: The entire Australian innings.
Q: What's the Australian version of LBW?
A: Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q: Why do Australians call their favourite drink XXXX?
A: Because they can't spell beer.
Q: What do you call a world-class Australian cricketer?
A: Retired
Q: What do you call an Aussie with a bottle of Champagne?
A: A waiter
Q: What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A: A fisherman
Q; Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
Q: What is the difference between Cinderella and the Ausies?
A: Cinderella knew when to leave the ball
Q: Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone on the Australian Cricket team/
A: The person who ironed the cricket whites
Q: What do you call an Aussie holding a six inch urn above his head?
A: The England bowling coach.
Q: What do you call an Australian with a bat in his hand ?
A: A vet.
Keep 'em coming- old or not, let's make the most of this.
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