- Britain to have rail network as good as the one France had 20 years ago
PM also pledges to bring motorways up to standard of 1930s autobahns.
- Saudi schools teaching Britons how to cut hands off chairman of British Gas
"I was just going to have at him with a meat cleaver, but I really want to do it properly," says 75 year-old grandmother with new found love of learning
- It could be Queen Trevor for all we care, says Britain
"Charles should divorce Camilla, marry a 24-stone plumber called Trev and make him Queen of all England," says someone who cannot even begin to imagine the circumstances in which he would give a shit
PM also pledges to bring motorways up to standard of 1930s autobahns.
- Saudi schools teaching Britons how to cut hands off chairman of British Gas
"I was just going to have at him with a meat cleaver, but I really want to do it properly," says 75 year-old grandmother with new found love of learning
- It could be Queen Trevor for all we care, says Britain
"Charles should divorce Camilla, marry a 24-stone plumber called Trev and make him Queen of all England," says someone who cannot even begin to imagine the circumstances in which he would give a shit
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