Worthwhile Funding...

The Department for International Development is spending £3 million over three years on a scheme called Global Community Links (GCL) which funds projects intended to educate the British public about impoverished nations, chiefly in Africa and Asia.

Trade unions, charities, schools and churches can apply for the money - but any organisation that receives it must agree to spend it all in Britain, and is specifically barred from sending any abroad.

The initiative is being funded even though the Conservatives attacked such UK-based "awareness" spending when they were in opposition and said it would end as soon as they came to power.  The revelation will raise further questions over why DfID was one of only two Whitehall departments, along with the Department of Health, to be spared cuts in its budget by the Coalition.  Among the projects already offered funds under the current scheme are:

* A conference in Cambridge, planned for later this month, featuring an "Afro-Cuban dance gala".

The conference has been organised by the charity Cambridge to Africa as one series of events to highlight its link with a children's charity in Uganda, for which it has received a GCL grant of £8,015.

The events are expected to be attended by 600 people – a cost to the taxpayer of £13 a head.

As well as a performance by Leandro Charanga, a Cambridge-based salsa dancer who is originally from Cuba, the event, "Celebrating Diversity: Voices from Africa", also includes presentations from a Swiss freelance journalist and a Norwegian aid worker. 

* Fairtrade coffee mornings to be held in Huddersfield by a group called the Young Ethical Pioneers, which has been awarded £9,460 to promote its link with tea and coffee producers in Kenya.

The organisers hope to attract "local celebrities" to promote the events – possibly from town's football or rugby league clubs. 

* A video about a twinning project between a Yorkshire Dales village and a community in Mali.

The link was established part of a wider scheme to connect people living on the Greenwich Meridian in different parts of the world – although Burley in Wharfedale is more than 70 miles from the line, while Tereli, in Mali, is more than 200 miles from it.

The Yorkshire group has received £9,550 to make the video and to organise four conferences about their work. 

* A DVD and a poster exhibition about epilepsy in Sierra Leone. A Reading-based community group, Education for Development, has been awarded £8,985 to create the publicity material, which will be seen by more than 4,500 people at conferences, in hospitals and online. 

* A twinning project between people from Newcastle-upon-Tyne and Kenya to promote the British public's knowledge of climate change.

A grant of £10,000 to Team Kenya is being spent on workshops, a conference and other events in north-east England. The group's message will also be spread through a DVD and blogs.

* A week of activities later this year in Plymouth to celebrate a link with Ghana, including performances by musicians from the African country. Plymouth Ghana Link has also been handed £10,000 with the aim of "widening for the people of Plymouth their understanding and awareness of Ghana".

Funded activities include presentations and seminars, links between schools, a visit to Devon by a representative from a cocoa co-operative, and workshops in Plymouth about malaria.

More at TTel.

Brief News From DMash

Taleban withdraws opposition to wheels

Maniacs say wheels can be fitted to some things for up to three years.

And I kill foxes for pleasure, says £7 million a year head of government-owned bank

Stephen Hester also expresses interest in driving back and forth over your dog.

Lock and Load

As the Arizona shooting of a US Congresswoman saw a sharp rise in the sale of handguns, author of the Second Amendment, James Madison, has angrily spoken out from beyond the grave to insist he meant the ‘right to bear the arms that existed in 1791′.

The Second Amendment to the US Constitution is one of the most contentious parts of the US Bill of Rights, and Madison has finally seen enough bloodshed to necessitate an intervention in ongoing policy debate.

Speaking through a qualified medium just outside Arizona, he said, “Let me be clear about this – the pro-gun lobby really pisses me off.”

“And trust me, I’ll tell the pro-gun lawmakers exactly that, right to their faces when they eventually get here – which if they keep misinterpreting my intentions could well be a lot sooner than they think.”

“The fact that I wrote the amendment in 1791 should be an absolutely massive hint as to my intentions, don’t you think?”

“I was perfectly happy for people to have a muzzle-loaded single-shot musket for home protection – 1791 America was a dangerous place.”

“But I was safe in the knowledge no-one was ever going to go on a killing spree, as they’d have to be within ten feet of you to be sure of hitting you, and would need a couple of minutes or so reloading their musket before having another go.”

Madison also explained his dismay at the use of his words to promote weaponry he could not even have conceived of in 1791.

He continued, “A handgun capable of firing 19 bullets in just a few seconds seconds, which can be reloaded even quicker, kills at a hundred yards and is available in every shopping mall to any unstable moron that wants one? Jesus H Christ, are you people mental?”

“I suppose in fifty years time you people will be claiming it was my intention all along that every American should have the right to carry a laser capable of slicing you into pieces from a mile away?”

Pro-gun lobbyists have reacted angrily to Madison’s outburst, insisting he clearly doesn’t have the first clue about what he meant when he wrote the Second Amendment all those years ago.

An NRA spokesperson said, “How dare he tell me how to decide what he meant by telling me what he meant.”

“What gives him the right to speak out about the intention of the words he wrote down himself, which I have subsequently decided to interpret in support my pro-gun arguments?”

“No, I think I know much better than James Madison what James Madison intended.”

NT.

Oi, Bog Face

In 2003, John was not amongst the most popular boys names given to babies. This is the first time this has happened since 1802.

Back in the Beginning

Six bands whose names were derived from real people as per egotv:

Pink Floyd

Originally called The Tea Set, the members of this iconic band showed up at a gig one night to discover that there was already another band on the roster who had called dibs on that title. Thinking quick, Syd Barrett mixed the names of two blues musicians he loved, Pink Anderson and Floyd Council, to rename the band ‘The Pink Floyd Sound’, and then later shortened the name to Pink Floyd.

Jane’s Addiction

There was a hooker friend of Perry Farrell named Jane, who said that prostitution was her addiction. He then decided to exploit this poor woman’s habit as his band’s gain.

Lynyrd Skynyrd

Long ago, this name was explained as homage to a gym teacher named Leonard Skinner they had in high school, who would send them to the principal’s office because “their hair was too long”.

Jethro Tull

This band went through a ridiculous number of names in the early days, because no one would give them a repeat booking. Their booking agent’s assistant suggested the name Jethro Tull for one such show, and the band went along. It was this performance that they just so happen to get the attention of the club owner who wanted them to play a repeat show. So who is Jethro Tull? He is, in fact, an 18th century English agriculturist, and inventor of the seed drill.

Creedence Clearwater Revival

Legend has it that the band was named after Tom Fogherty’s friend, Credence Nuball, whose favorite beer was Clearwater. The beer was discontinued by the maker, but then was picked back up by another brewery; hence the Clearwater revival. Ta da.

Alice Cooper

When Vincent Furnier’s band originally came to LA, they were called The Nazz. As they were signing to a record contract, they learned there was already a band called Nazz, so it was back to the drawing board. What better way to make the decision than to consult the almighty Ouija board? So the story goes that during the session with the occult, Vincent learned that he was the reincarnated soul of Alice Cooper, who was a woman burned at the stake during the Salem witch trials for practicing the black arts.
In the end not only was the band’s name changed, but Vincent made it his stage name and persona to match his ancestry/destiny.

Today's Quickie

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, but it took her 5 hours to hoover the house.

Turns out she was a Slovak...

Top Brands

Results from the 2010 Anholt-GfK Roper Nation Brands Index, which measures the global image of 50 countries, shows the United States holding the top spot for the second year in a row as the country with the best overall brand.

Among the top 10 nations, Southern Europe has seen several changes, all of them for worse. Spain is no longer part of the top 10, Italy has been overtaken by Canada, and France has lost its standing to an emerging Germany.

Greece is not among the selection of only 50 nations being ranked at the Index, but one can safely assume that it has lost a number of positions, especially on the business and governance dimensions.

1. United States [In 2009: United States]

2. Germany [In 2009: France]
3. France [In 2009: Germany]
4. United Kingdom [In 2009: United Kingdom]
5. Japan [In 2009: Japan]
6. Canada [In 2009: Italy]
7. Italy [In 2009: Canada]
8. Switzerland [In 2009: Switzerland]
9. Australia [In 2009: Australia]
10. Sweden [In 2009: Spain, Sweden (tie)]

The UK came a disappointing 14th in the 2010 international customer service rankings and was ranked 13th for its "welcome" by visitors. 

Put it Out

This article by the BBC is now out of date but it's still valid for people who would like to travel and smoke.

AUSTRALIA

Smoking is banned inside all airports, government offices, health clinics and workplaces in Australia. Restaurants and shopping centres in most states and territories are also smoke-free zones.
In Sydney, smoking is also banned on the world famous beaches of Manly and Bondi, among others.
In 2007 the city of Fremantle went a step further and banned smoking in all outside dining areas. Perth followed suit in August 2008 and it is expected that eventually all states will ban smoking in outside dining areas.

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BHUTAN

The sale of tobacco products has been banned throughout the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan.  It is believed to be the first country to have done this.
The move is part of the government's strategy for predominantly Buddhist Bhutan to eventually become a smoke-free nation.
Smoking was only popular with a small percentage of the Bhutanese population, correspondents say. Chewing tobacco was much more common.

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CANADA

Smoking levels are some of the lowest in the world, with some 21% of Canadians over the age of 15 reported smoking in 2002, according to government statistics.
Public health experts say the decline has been driven by tough anti-smoking measures adopted in recent years.
In addition to bans on smoking in workplaces and many public places, cigarette packets bear graphic images of the damage done to internal organs by smoking.

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CHINA

In May 2008, in the run-up to the Olympic Games, a ban on smoking in most public buildings came into force in the Chinese capital, Beijing.
The move was an attempt to discourage some of China's 350 million smokers and also part of wider efforts to clean up the city ahead of the games.
For every three cigarettes lit worldwide, one is smoked in China. Almost 25% of the Chinese smoke.

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CUBA

Smoking was banned on public transport, in shops and other closed spaces from 7 February, 2005.
The authorities are seeking to curb damage to people's health and help bring about a change in public attitudes.
More than half of Cuban adults are thought to smoke, and 30% of preventable cancer deaths are said to be linked to smoking.
Cuban leader Fidel Castro - a cigar aficionado in the early days of his left-wing revolution - kicked the habit in 1986 for health reasons.

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EUROPE

Estonia joined those European countries banning smoking in bars and restaurants on 5 June, 2007. The law bans smoking in cafes, restaurants, bars, nightclubs, except for special zones, and at bus stops and underground train stations. Offenders face a fine of 80 euros, while owners of cafes and restaurants can face a fine of up to 2,000 euros.

Finland introduced a similar measure on 1 June.

France took a major step towards a total public ban when it announced it would prevent smoking in workplaces and other public buildings from 1 February 2007.
The law was extended in 2008 to include cafes, restaurants and bars.
Its first serious move to cut smoking levels came in October 2003, when it raised the price of cigarettes by 20%.
The move provoked a strike from furious tobacconists, many fearing being forced out of business by smokers crossing borders to buy cigarettes in neighbouring countries.
Analysts said the plan was driven by government concern that smoking levels were not declining fast enough in France, and a need to fill an $8.5bn shortfall in the country's health budget.
Correspondents say attitudes to smoking have changed dramatically in France since the 2007 ban and any fears that people will generally ignore the new law should be discarded.
The French health ministry allowed smokers a 24-hour "grace" period for the 2008 New Year festivities in a gesture of "tolerance".
Any smoker caught flouting the ban after then can be fined up to 450 euros (£332; $662), while those who turn a blind eye to smokers on their premises can be fined up to 750 euros.

In Germany, eight states, including Berlin, ushered in 2008 declaring their pubs and restaurants smoke-free.
Almost a third of Germans smoke and the authorities in Berlin have decided not to enforce the restrictions actively for the first six months.
German restaurants and pubs have strongly resisted the bans, not only because of the potential loss of income but partly because of an earlier crackdown on smoking initiated by Adolf Hitler's Nazi regime.
The sensitivity of the issue has prompted the authorities to allow special rooms to be set up purely for smokers.
The toughest rules in Germany are being brought in in Bavaria, where no smoking rooms will be allowed. Lighting up is also likely to be banned at the state's Munich beer festival in October.

Greece introduced its third attempt at banning smoking in public places on 1 July 2009. Under the new rules, smoking will be prohibited in hospitals, schools, vehicles and all public spaces.
But small restaurants will be allowed to choose to admit exclusively smokers (or non-smokers), and bigger ones can have smoking areas.
Previous attempts to introduce a ban in 2002 and 2003 failed after they were largely ignored.

Ireland imposed tough anti-smoking legislation in March 2004, banning smoking in pubs, restaurants and other enclosed workplaces.
Anyone caught smoking in a prohibited location now faces a fine of up to 3,000 euros (£2,000).
Despite fears the ban would be widely flouted, BBC correspondent James Helm reported most smokers in pubs adopting a pragmatic view and popping outside to the street or beer garden for a puff between pints.

Italy imposed a ban on smoking in all enclosed public places including bars and restaurants from midnight on 10 January, 2005.
Businesses face a fine of up to 2,000 euros (£1,395) if they fail to ensure their customers do not smoke, while smokers themselves could face a 275-euro (£191) for repeatedly ignoring the new rules.
The ban has not been welcomed by all, with some bar owners and smokers saying they will ignore the ban on the grounds that cigarettes and smoking are an integral part of Italian bar and cafe culture.
The new rules allow smoking in special sealed-off areas fitted with smoke extractors; however many bar owners say fitting the automatic doors and forced ventilation systems required by law is too expensive.
Tobacconists reported a 20% fall in cigarette sales in the weeks immediately after the ban came into force.

Lithuania has extended its 2007 ban on smoking in bars and cafes to include all public places, bars and cafes.

Montenegro: In August 2004, Montenegro - then part of a union with Serbia - decided to introduce a sweeping ban on smoking in public places in the hope of overturning an established culture of smoking in offices, restaurants, bars and on buses.
Tobacco advertising and the portrayal of smoking on television are also banned.

The Netherlands: A tough crackdown on smoking from 1 January 2004 saw cigarettes banned from many public places including railway stations, trains, toilets and offices.
The government also warned hotels, bars and restaurants they would face further measures unless they adopted their own controls on smoking.
Some 30% of the Netherlands' 16 million population are smokers - a higher rate than all other European Union countries except Spain, Greece and Germany.

Norway: A national ban was imposed on smoking in restaurants, bars and cafes from 1 June 2004.
The government says the ban is to protect staff working in these establishments from passive smoking and to "de-normalise" smoking as a social pastime.
Tobacco advertising has been prohibited in Norway for 30 years and a packet of cigarettes costs about £6.
Despite this, one in three people smokes cigarettes, and there has been a rise in tobacco-related deaths.

Portugal introduced restrictions on 1 January 2008 but the rules were not as tight as some other European countries. Portuguese bars smaller than 100sq m (1,076sq ft) can still opt to allow smoking. Public buildings can still have smoking zones, provided they are clearly signposted and ventilated.

Spain: A new law banning smoking in offices, shops, schools, hospitals, cultural centres and on public transport was introduced on 1 January, 2006.
Businesses occupying more than 100sq m have eight months to set up a separate smoking area. Smaller premises have to indicate whether they are smoke-free.
The government says the ban is necessary because smoking is the biggest killer in Spain, with 50,000 smoking-related deaths annually.
Surveys show that about 30% of Spaniards smoke.
A government-sponsored opinion poll released in December showed more than 70% of respondents backed the ban.

Sweden: Smoking was prohibited in all bars and restaurants from midnight in May 2005.
A majority of people questioned in a Temo poll welcomed the ban.
Establishments wanting to allow smoking are required to have a closed-off section with specially-designed ventilation, where no food or drink can be served. But most venues were not expected to be able to afford such renovations.
The ban followed lobbying by the country's licensing sector which said bar and restaurant staff were more likely to suffer lung cancer than in any other profession.
The new restriction could spell a rise in the centuries-old use of "snus" - moist snuff placed under the lip enjoyed by more than 1m Swedes.

United Kingdom: Smoking is banned in nearly all enclosed public spaces - including bars, restaurants and workplaces.
The ban came into force in England early on 1 July. Scotland introduced a ban in March 2006, followed by Wales and Northern Ireland in April 2007.
People smoking in pubs, restaurants, offices and on public transport face on-the-spot fines of £50, while those in charge of the premises could also be fined for allowing smoking.
The pub industry warned of the potential impact on trade and called for smoking-room areas.
About 30% of adults under the age of 65 smoke in the UK, according to recent research conducted by Imperial College in London.
An estimated 42% of people under the age of 65 are exposed to tobacco smoke at home and 11% at work.
The issue of passive smoking has been at the centre of an intense debate between pro and anti-smoking groups, with each side contesting the validity of each other's statistics.

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INDIA

A ban on smoking in public places came into force in October 2008 in an effort to curb high levels of tobacco addiction.
Anyone caught breaking the law will be fined 200 rupees ($4.50).
The law also bans direct and indirect advertising of tobacco products and the sale of cigarettes to children.
Tobacco smoking in India kills 900,000 people a year, a figure that is expected to rise to one million by 2010.
According to a 1996 survey reported by AP news agency, 112 million people smoke tobacco in India, while some 96 million use tobacco products like chewing tobacco.
India's health ministry says hundreds of thousands of people who have never smoked die each year by inhaling smoke from other people's cigarettes and bidis (small hand-rolled cigarettes common in India).

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IRAN

Iran banned smoking in public buildings and tobacco advertising in October 2003 - but both measures have had little effect.
Smoking was banned in religious and administrative buildings, as well as hotels, restaurants, airports, cinemas and sports centres.
Despite this, the ban is largely ignored and laws rarely enforced.
Statistics show smoking is on the rise among young Iranians.

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KENYA

In the capital, Nairobi, a ban on smoking in indoor public places came into force in July 2007, with a similar ban in Mombasa and the Rift Valley town of Nakuru.
Anyone smoking in offices, bus stations, airports and sports venue faces a fine of 50,000 Kenya shillings ($700; £375) or six months in prison.
Bars and restaurants without separate smoking areas are also affected.
Tobacco kills 8,000 smokers in Kenya each year and second-hand smoke kills 4,000, according to official figures.
Smoking generates 5bn shillings ($65m) for the Kenyan government but costs five times as much in disease, disability and death.

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SINGAPORE

There is a wide-ranging ban on smoking in public places, most recently updated in 2005.
It includes food shops, restaurants, public halls and function rooms, offices, factories, banks and health premises.
Smoking is also prohibited on public transport, including taxis.
The National Environment Agency extended the ban to include pubs, bars and clubs in July 2007. On 1 July 2007, the ban was extended to entertainment nightspots. But these businesses can build designated smoking rooms that can take up to 10% of the total indoor space.
From 1 January 2009, the ban will be extended to playgrounds, exercise areas, markets, underground and multi-storey car parks, ferry terminals and jetties. It will also be extended to non-airconditioned areas in offices, factories, shops, shopping complexes and lift lobbies.

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TANZANIA

Tanzania banned smoking in many public places in July 2003, with smoke-free zones declared on public transport, as well as in schools and hospitals.
The government also banned the selling of tobacco to under 18s and advertising on radio and television and in newspapers.
Health officials said they hoped the ban would "create an environment that will help to make the society a non-smoking one".

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UNITED STATES

Many cities and states are considering - or already enforcing - bans on smoking.
California has some of the toughest and most extensive anti-smoking legislation anywhere in the world.
A ban on smoking inside or within 1.5 metres of any public building came into force in 1993 - recently extended to six metres. Smoking is also banned in restaurants, bars and enclosed workplaces - and on beaches - throughout the state.
In New York, smoking has been banned in bars, clubs and restaurants since March 2003.
Anti-smoking laws have provoked a strong debate in the US. Some bar owners say their businesses are suffering and smokers say their rights are being infringed, while non-smokers delight in a fresher environment.

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VENEZUELA

A limited public smoking ban in one of the heaviest-smoking countries came into force on 31 May, 2007.

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2012 Olympics and How to Score Tickets

The BBC offers us a Q & A on how to acquire tickets for next year's snooze fest:

The window for buying tickets for the London 2012 Olympic Games will open on 15th March 2011.

How can I get tickets? First you need to register your interest on the London 2012 website. So far, more than two million people have done so.

Does that mean I will get tickets when they go on sale? No, the point of registering is that you will have access to important information about the process for getting tickets and London 2012 says it saves time re-entering your details.

When do the tickets go on sale? Tickets go on sale on 15 March 2011.

So can buy my tickets on that day? No, it's not first come, first served as it would be if you wanted to buy tickets to see Madonna. The application process will be open for six weeks until 26 April, with any over-subscribed tickets allocated via a ballot system. It doesn't matter if you apply the day the applications open or last day before the deadline.

How much will the tickets cost? It depends on what you want to see. Seats for the coveted 100 m final will set you back up to £725 but tickets for many sports start at £20.

Organisers London 2012 say there is a wide range of prices across the 39 disciplines and 649 sports sessions with 90% of tickets at £100 or less, two-thirds under £50 and about 25% at £20 or less.

Children under 16 will be eligible to "pay their age" across more than 200 sessions and tickets for over-60s will be £16 at the same events.

Events like the marathon, road cycling and the triathlon will be free for at least part of the route.

Check this PDF for ticket prices for each sport.

Will there be a limit to the number of tickets I can buy?

More details about ticket limits will be announced between now and 15 March when the application process opens. Sessions which are in great demand may have limits to how many tickets you can apply for.

What we do know at this stage is there will be 8.8m tickets available for the Olympic Games alone (with a further two million available for the Paralympic Games, which go on sale later this year).

Some 75% of the tickets are available to the general public via the application process. The remaining 25% is a combination of tickets for worldwide fans (through global National Olympic Committees), sponsors and rights holders who provide the funds to stage the Games and finally hospitality and travel packages.

The organisers say "prestige hospitality tickets" will account for less than one per cent of tickets on sale.

What is a session? Each ticket is sold for a specified session which may include several events, for example a session of swimming may include several heats and races.

Most tickets cannot be used to watch all the events taking place at a venue on a given day, just the specific session for which the ticket has been purchased.

Can I pay by cash or debit card?
 
In recognition of Visa's support of the Olympic Games and Paralympic Games, London 2012 will only accept Visa payment cards (debit, credit and prepaid) along with cash and cheques.

I don't have a Visa card so how can I pay?
 
London 2012 will accept cash and cheques. While you are at an Olympic venue you will have pay for things using a Visa card or cash only.

When will the sport event schedule be available so I can plan what to watch?
 
This is expected to be published in February 2011 although a draft schedule is already available.

Will there be any free events I can see?
 
Yes, there will be free events such as the marathon and road cycling where you won't need a ticket. However, it is likely London 2012 will ticket the Olympic Park to control crowd numbers.

If I can't get to London will there be anything to see outside the capital?
 
Yes, there are lots of venues outside London which will host Olympic and Paralympic events. These are: City of Coventry Stadium (football), Eton Dorney (rowing), Hadleigh Farm, Essex (mountain biking), Hampden Park, Glasgow (football), Lee Valley White Water Centre (canoe slalom), Millennium Stadium in Cardiff (football), Old Trafford in Manchester (football), St James' Park in Newcastle (football) and Weymouth and Portland in Dorset (sailing). Tickets for these venues and events wil also go on sale on 15 March 2011.

Further details about the ticketing process can be found on the London 2012 website.

Whatever happened to a simple queue up and get in?  And £725 for the 100 m final?  Daylight robbery at nearly £75/second.  So much for being an event for the man in the street.  I'm so glad I am not a fan of athletics.

The Final Supper

Last lunch out with the GM, Khun Saeri, today.  He's promised us an extra special restaurant but quite honestly, any little. local noodle shop will be a treat.  I have no idea how he fins these places but he must spend days, for he is such a connoisseur.  And we get to benefit.  :o) 

Only One Way

The Titanic provided its first class passengers with a complementary on-board singing telegram service.

Perhaps Quo's Down, Down, Deeper and Down was on their list of songs?

Cool T

 

Tory activists have produced a T-shirt celebrating the MP who accused Speaker John Bercow of behaving "like fucking royalty".  The top, costing £10.90, is on sale on the net to support Conservative Mark Pritchard after an ugly clash outside the Commons chamber.  It displays Pritchard's words when the Speaker ordered him out of the way in a narrow corridor:  "You're not fucking royalty, Mr Speaker."

Original story here.

Party on the Road

The Midnight Rider weighs in at more than 22 tonnes and is capable of ferrying 40 party goers around in style.  The 21 m (70 ft) long mega-truck boasts three lounges, a bathroom, a full-sized bar, surround sound for its five televisions and a laser-guided satellite with internet capability.

It’s only licensed for American roads and will set you back £650 an hour.

Necessary

According to its annual audit the US Army employs 18 full-time "combat candlestick makers."

Hardly Rocket Science

"Duvet wars" could be a thing of the past with the invention of a bed cover that allows people to adjust the amount of layering on either side of the bed.  Couples who constantly find one person is either too hot or too cold can clip on additional "half-duvets" so that both can nod off at their preferred temperature.

The CosyCool is made up of one 4.5 tog double duvet to which four additional half-size 4.5 tog duvets can be added on.

Before we left the UK we also had a king size duvet and occasionally one of us would be out of sync with the temperature.  Then we started travelling and realised that the majority of Europeans simply used two single duvets but with matching covers.

The simplest ideas are always the best.

Limp Wristed

Signalling he is prepared to defy public opinion, the British Prime Minister indicated he will reject demands for punitive action on bankers bonuses and admitted his approach could be unpopular.

Taxpayers are “rightly angry” about bankers getting huge bonuses Cameraman said, but he insisted he will not court short-term popularity by trying to “hammer” the financial sector.  Instead, he said, the ConDems lwill try to strike a balance between heeding calls to impose tough rules on the banks and allowing them to get on with lending to British businesses.  He limply guffed on:

“It’s about getting the balance right. It’s not going to be easy and it won’t satisfy everybody.  But we’ve got to try to work for that balance rather than just think, let’s take revenge on people because they’ve made us mad as hell."

Wanker.


City investment banks are beginning their bonus season, informing staff about their payments for 2010, with total bonuses expected to be £7 billion.

Interesting

Interest rates will start rising again by June, much earlier than had been expected, after a surprise jump in inflation.  It's been stuck at 0.5% for the past 22 months.

More at TTel.

WoW?

A yacht has been designed to create a floating version of the streets of Monaco, complete with casino and racetrack.  The scaled-down landmarks would feature on the deck of the 500ft long "The Streets of Monaco" yacht which would cater for 16 guests and 70 crew.  There're also swimming pools, tennis courts and other Monaco favourites like a Hotel de Paris, Cafe de Paris, La Rascasse and Loews Hotel.

It's worth noting the yacht will cost around £700 million to buy.  

 

Newslite.

Must See TV

NEXT month's Brit awards will be 'clinically unwatchable', according to the Royal College of Physicians.

The RCP  had feared an epidemic of severe head injuries and gastro intestinal expulsions, but now say the emergency services can relax as the ceremony will be so bad that no-one will be able to get beyond the first three seconds.

A spokesman said: "It's physically impossible to watch something with this degree of Fearne Cotton. Your brain would shut down temporarily as a protection measure if you even tried.

"But it's when you add the all-night presence of James Corden you realise just how little you know about the human body.

"We think that if someone was to even try to watch this man presenting an entire awards ceremony, their face would attempt to turn itself inside out so that their eyes were looking at their own brain.

"And if James Corden then introduces either N-Bubz or Mumford & Sons we think the ears will collapse in on themselves as if they are being crumpled up in the palm of an invisible hand."

But the RCP said there was even a danger from simply having your television switched on as dreadfulness from the ceremony could leak into other channels causing involuntary absorption by people who were just watching a documentary about crocodiles and wouldn't know James Corden if he drove past them in his pathetic, ill-gotten sports car.

The spokesman added: "We're advising people to saw their television in half at least six hours before the broadcast starts, encase it in concrete and then throw it in a canal."

DMash.

Holy Superheroes

Hot Bricks

A pine cone falls to the ground somewhere in the world every 0.24 seconds.

I cast doubt on that factual- I'd like to see that happen on the Atlantic ocean...

Punch Drunk

Neurologists believe that they have found conclusive evidence that boxing damages the brain after the media published pictures of Amir Khan flirting with Katie Price.

Scientists have long believed that there is a significant link between neurodegenerative diseases and the repeated concussive blows to the head that boxers experience, but while brain scans have proven inconclusive, a scan of today’s tabloids has proven the link beyond any reasonable doubt.

“Any interest in Katie Price is a clear sign of brain damage,” neurologist Dr Alan Franklin explained. “A quick glance at her previous relationships clearly demonstrates that.”

“Peter Andre already had delusions of musical talent before he had even met Ms Price, but then had the clearly insane idea of releasing an album of duets with his then wife, who is even more tone deaf than he is.”

“It’s of no surprise to me that she then targeted another man who suffered boxer-style levels of serious head trauma in her next marriage to the cage-fighter, Alex Reid.”

Relatives of the Khan are also worried about his mental faculties, but are still hoping that he was just extremely, blindly drunk.

“There’s the chance that it could just be the sheer ignorance of his youth,” Amir’s father said hopefully.

“But surely no one is that stupid? I’m beginning to have this horrible feeling that the endless punishment that his skull has taken since he was just a child may have finally taken their toll.”

“When I saw the pictures of my son with that national abomination, I feared that his brain had been beaten into a chunky cream of vegetable soup.”

“However as a father, I’m hoping that he was completely drunk or on an awful lot of mind-altering drugs,” he continued, “even if he is a practising Muslim.”

“If the choice is between him having a genuine relationship with Katie Price, or being a degenerate drug addict, then there really is no choice at all.”

NT.

Out Faced

After social networking site Facebook went off-line this morning, the nation’s workers descended into what experts are calling a ‘terrifying frenzy of productivity’.

The cause of outage has not yet been confirmed, raising the possibility that further periods of profound productivity could hit UK industry completely unannounced.

Office based Claims Processor Shelly Davies told us, “I’m not ashamed to say I panicked when I saw Facebook was down, but to help myself get through it I threw myself into my work – what else could I do?”

“I started off by asking people in the office if they had any pithy comments about what they were doing right then, or if they had any photos they were interested in showing me, but nothing.”

“Before long I found myself actually wanting to sort the high-priority claims in order to get them to an adjuster more quickly.  It’s was bizarre.”

“I have to admit those few hours went by in a bit of a blur, it was a horrible time, and one I’m not too keen on repeating. My virtual farm needs constant attention you know.”

Businesses around the country are already struggling to cope under the relentless barrage of workers doing what they’re supposed to be doing.

Office manager Simon Williams told us, “It was strange, the whole office just stopped for about thirty seconds, and then seemed to focus exactly on that thing we pay them to do.”

“It’s only Monday morning, but we’ve already processed more paperwork than we’d normally do by Wednesday afternoon.”

“I’m going to tell the Directors we got in a couple of hundred temps, or they’ll expect this type of thing all the time.”

A Facebook spokesperson said, “We would like to offer our sincere apologies to the nation’s businesses, and rest assured we have taken steps to prevent such unexpected bursts of office-based productivity in the future.”

NT.

Nectar-Less

The man who devised a complicated scam which conned millions of customers into frivolously making purchases in the belief they would be accruing Nectar ‘points’ to earn similarly frivolous products is facing a jail term.

Mark Net, who created the Nectar card reward scheme, is said to have hoodwinked many regular shoppers into the scam, which ostensibly encourages people to return to shops time and again just so they can add a few numbers to a non-existent currency which roughly equates to a free pound for every £209 spent.

Regular shopper, Mary Ball, said she was disgusted to learn how much of her own money would need to be spent to accrue a solitary pound under the scheme many consumer watchdogs are calling ‘horrifying’.

She told us, “I would earn more money searching down the backs of all the sofas in my local furniture store than I would do spending my money in these places.”

“I used to think it was OK to buy up two years worth of bog roll because they were offering double the nectar points if i did so, but it turns out the overall reward for that purchase was 35p. I feel cheated.”

“I’m delighted that the man who came up with this idea is going to prison, it’s the best place for him.”

Sainsbury’s Chief Executive Wilfred Pitt dismissed customer concerns, insisting that surely everybody knew from the start it was just a big con.

“This was rolled out for the novelty factor, clearly.”

“I mean, everyone loves playing Monopoly right? They grab a hold of a big wad of notes and flash them around like they are a local drug dealer, but they know full well they have no value in the real world.”

“It’s exactly the same with Nectar points.”

NT and original story here.

Now and Then

Or vice-versa:


Shanghai 1990

Shanghai 2010

—————————-
Piccadilly Circus, London 1948

Piccadilly Circus, London 2010

—————————-
Centralia, Pennsylvania 1962

Centralia, Pennsylvania 2008

—————————-
Kabul, Afghanistan 1970

Kabul, Afghanistan 2010

—————————-
Bristol, England 1920

Bristol, England 2009

—————————-
Hong Kong 1960

Hong Kong 2010

—————————-
Brockville, Ontario 1900

Brockville, Ontario 2010

—————————-
Jericho Beach 1940s

Jericho Beach 2010

—————————-
Unknown, China 1960s

Unknown, China 2005

—————————-
Port Austin, Michigan 1934

Port Austin, Michigan 2009


From DJ Mick Travel.

Lost One

Australia beat England by four runs in second Twenty20.  I can live with that, it's hardly the Ashes, is it?  :o)


The seven-match one-day series begins in Melbourne on Sunday (16th), with both sides looking to peak in time for the World Cup, starting on 19th February.  And we'll be in India/Sri Lanka at some point too, so who knows, we may get some tickets.

Today's Quickie

Not sure if we had one yesterday but here's today's offering:

Paddy says to Mick: "Christmas is on Friday this year". 

Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13^th then."

Shame

I hear Robbie Keane is off to Birmingham (for a reported £6 million) if he can agree personal terms.  I've always liked him but sadly he can;t seem to find his way into the first eleven with any kind of guarantee- this season he's made 11 of his 13 appearances as a substitute.

I wish him well and hope he has something left to offer- as long as he doesn't take it out on Spurs next time.

Welcome Back Matt

A few weeks ago we got to chatting at the hotel bar and I was pleasantly chuffed to strike up convo with an Aussie blurk, Matt.  Of course I was happy- we'd just stuffed the Aussies in the Ashes and I was looking to rub it in.  Except he was one of the few guys who didn't follow sport and couldn't give a stuff about the cricket.  Damn.

However, we got on really well as he was a fellow bike rider and I recognised he was wearing a SBK T-shirt. THat really set us off as we gobbed off about the bikes we rode and many a fine hour was spent wallowing in nostalgia.

Anyway, he and his Thai girlfriend (now six years together) have been touring around the country and they also use the Imm as a base.  Recently they went to Hua Hin which is where we hope to visit with the in-laws as they are beach bunnies and the reports are all good.  Good beaches, great night life and plenty to see and do.

We've pencilled it in for 2012.

Below Par

One in six Americans has never been on the internet, compared to five in six people worldwide.

That's a First

Last night we met a Korean gentleman and started chatting.  He's the first gadgy we've met from there and his English was very good.  We had a right laugh and in the end swapped cards as he said he'd help us find good value accommodation when we go over for the first time in 2012.  Thanks, Song- greatly appreciated.

Quote/Unquote

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
 

- Oscar Wilde

Best of Luck, Bruv

Wishing my brother a successful operation (he goes in around 07:00 UK time) to have his slipped disc replaced with a titanium one (always has to go one better, most people prefer a titanium ring) and thereafter a speedy recovery.  The op should take a couple of hours and then he will be free to recuperate for at least 8 weeks thereafter.

Lucky for him he can keep himself amused with the Blog- he claims he never as time to read it but now has no option.  :o)

Beefeaters Part 3

Beefeaters Part 4

Beefeaters Part 1

Cheers to Au P for sending over the initial link (part two) but I've discovered there are four in the series so cop for all of them over the next few posts.  Really funny guy with a great sense of humour.  Since when has history been so enjoyable?

Beefeaters Part 2

How Many Times Do We Have to tell You?

Essex Dibble Farce had to spend thousands of pounds fixing vehicles after Rozzers put petrol in diesel cars despite “talking” fuel caps warning them not to.  They used the wrong fuel 332 times in the past seven years at a cost of £62 000.

Figures disclosed by a Freedom of Information Request show that Top Plod were first alerted to the problem in 2008.  They decided to take action by installing yellow fuel caps and a warning system on each car at a total cost of £4 000.  But despite the precaution, diesel Fuzz mobiles were still wrongly filled with petrol 110 times in the following two years.

Essex boys at their best...

No More Tottenham?

Tottenham Hotspur could be forced to change their name if they move to the East End to make the Olympic stadium their new home, it has been claimed.  A trademark expert has said the club could face legal action unless it voluntarily dropped “Tottenham”.

Haringey council or local traders could bring the action against the club if it left its home of more than 100 years.  Legal experts believe it could be renamed “Hotspurs” or “Spurs” since adopting the name “Stratford Hotspur” would damage the club's brand value.

I doubt they even want to get the Olympic Stadium that much; it's just a ruse to get their building permission through the council.  Mind you, just Spurs is fine by me too.

Top Three

According to the Rough Guide, the UK doesn't even feature in the top places to visit this year.  The top three must-see places it recommends people visit are Mumbai, Berlin and Dunedin, in New Zealand.

We've currently done two out of three and are on our way to India next week to complete the hat-trick.

Cheers to the Beers

Drinking a pint of beer every day is good for you, according to doctors. Not only that, it can also reduce the risk of diabetes and high blood pressure.  It's the news every man has been waiting for- and it gets better.  Spanish researchers believe moderate consumption of beer can even help people lose weight.  The cause of the infamous British beer belly is lack of exercise, excessive consumption of high fat foods and drinking beer to excess, they said.

They found those who accompanied a Mediterranean diet with up to a pint of beer "not only did not put on weight, but in some cases even lost weight."


Beer contains folic acid, vitamins, iron and calcium, which their study said provide a "protective" effect on the cardiovascular system.   Those who regularly drank moderate amounts of beer were less likely to suffer from diabetes and high blood pressure, and had a lower body fat content.

But befoe any Brits rush off to the pub, the study also stressed that Spanish beer drinkers did not resemble their British counterparts who "drink large quantities, almost without moving from one spot, while eating fried chips and sausages."

Pub crawl and tapas it is then.

What Was That Again?

Readers using electronic books like the Amazon Kindle and Sony Reader are less likely to remember what they have read because the devices are so easy on the eyes, research has suggested.

Rather than making things clearer, e-readers and computers prevent us from absorbing information because their crisp screens and fonts tell our subconscious that the words they convey are not important, it is claimed.  In contrast, handwriting and fonts that are more challenging to read signal to the brain that the content of the message is important and worth remembering, experts say.

That may explain my ability to not retain anything of worth...

Doing the Chores

New research shows that worrying about household chores, such as cleaning, getting the car serviced and paying the bills may be even worse for your heart than being at work.

US scientists tested working men and women and found those who took on most of the responsibility for running the home had significantly higher blood pressure readings than those who left it to their partners.  The findings suggest it’s not the workload itself but the stress about how to cope with it that causes the damage.

The strongest link with high blood pressure came from worries over how to get domestic chores done, such as cleaning, cooking and shopping.  Next came car maintenance and repair, paying the bills and keeping on top of the household budget.  But having to look after children or pets had no adverse effect on blood pressure.

WTF!  Worries over domestic chores?  Utter bollocks - Must have been written by a bird :o)

Deep Waters

Move over Australia and Brazil, the UK has just issued a flood warning too.  Britain has been placed on flood alert with almost half the January rainfall expected to fall within 24 hours. 

I've always wondered what these warnings advise people to do?  Like King Canute, no one is able to turn the tides back, so how does one prepare for the floods?  Simply abandon your moored ship and head for the hills?  Put down sand bags?

Anyone know?

Raking It In

There are some winners thanks to sky high petrol costs.  Apart from the suppliers, the government is apparently trousering around £2 billion in extra cash.  The cost of oil will hand the Treasury a windfall in extra tax this year while motorists endure record petrol prices.

The Office for Budget Responsibility, the Treasury’s official forecaster, estimates that every $1 rise in the price of a barrel of oil earns the Government an additional £150 million in revenue over a year from the North Sea oil industry.  The Treasury’s economic plans in November were based on an official projection of $85 a barrel, however, rapidly increasing demand for oil on the world markets has pushed the price above $98 a barrel.  And it's still rising.


More at TTel.

Falling off the Fitness Wagon

Brits waste a staggering £37 million a year on things like gym memberships, exercise and slimming classes they never attend, it's been found.  Research has revealed forgotten direct debits which still deduct cash months after the diet fell by the wayside leaves the average adult with a £303 dent in their finances.

The most common wastes of cash were found to be gym memberships and slimming clubs which are frequently signed up for at the start of the year, but soon ignored.  Another £158 is forked out on sports equipment which is used only a handful of times and there are also subscriptions to unread magazines and CD and music downloads which never get played.

In total it was found most people waste £1 213 a year on unused items and subscriptions.

And people say advertising never works?

Full Circle

Uninspiring

If you're going to do public relations for a PR firm, you need to do something pretty special- like write the most amazing press release ever written.

Which is exactly what Mitch Delaplane did recently on behalf of some company in America by entitling it "The most amazing press release ever written".  What followed was a 347 word press release all about how good the very same press release was, how well it was written and what impact it would have on readers.

This reminds me of a piece by the ever so clever Stephen Fry who wrote about the subject of nothing.  Very well done, intelligent and you can read it in his book "Paperweight".  Delaplane's efforts fall well short but you can judge for yourself.

Yawn.


PR Professional Distributes Groundbreaking Press Release

CHICAGO, Jan. 11, 2011 /PRNewswire/ -- Mitch Delaplane of PitchPoint Public Relations has issued the most amazing press release ever written.  While hundreds of press releases are distributed daily, Delaplane feels this particular release will go down in history as the most amazing press release that has ever been written.

"I've been in the business for over ten years and have to say, I'm speechless," claims Delaplane.  "The title alone grabs you and demands that it be read.  Then there's this quote that completely takes things to an entirely new level.  I'm proud of this press release.  In fact, I think it is [really] amazing."

Typically reserved for company news announcements and other public relations communications, the press release has long been the favored default for informing media about exciting, groundbreaking news.  Then this news release comes along and changes everything people thought they knew about press releases.

"I'm quoting myself again because the first quote didn't do it justice," says Delaplane.  "If you're still reading this news release, then you know what I'm talking about when I say it's something special.  In fact, it's 483 words of pure awesomeness.  When it crosses the wires, I believe history will have been made."

The science behind this Earth-shattering news release lies in its simplicity – no science, just pure old press release craftsmanship.  It started with an incredible brainstorming session that asked a very simple question: "what makes a press release amazing?"  Elaborate notes from that brainstorm were then formulated into mesmerizing sentences, paragraphs and pages...all expertly designed to make you pause and reflect at the brilliance of this press release.

Every single word of this news release was track changed, stetted, then track changed again to its original draft.  Upon final approval, it was spell checked, fact checked and printed for posterity.  The result is a two-page, 1.5-spaced news release that is like no other news release in existence.

According to PitchPoint Public Relations you have just read the most amazing press release ever written.  If you agree, tell Mitch at mitch@pitchpointpr.com or follow him on Twitter at Lifeisamitch. 

Not so Clever

The inventor of an iPhone-controlled fridge which shoots cans of beer across a room from a cannon says he now never needs to leave the sofa when he wants a brew.  He came up with the gadget because he was fed up with having to walk to the fridge every time he wanted a drink.

Working with a pal he turned a fridge in a basic vending machine which dispensed chilled beers and then added a compressed air cannon, web server and iPhone interface.  Now when he wants a beer, he uses his phone to log into the fridge, picks what sort of beer he wants and fires it over to where he is sitting.

I'm not impressed.  Why not just take a mini fridge and put it next to the sofa- you'll even have a handy table to rest your beer and snacks on.

At Odds

I do find it ironic that while Belgium remains without a proper government, the headquarters of the EU is situated in Brussels.

Why can't EMPs take the hint and bugger off as well?

No Harm

Actor Benoit Poelvoorde has asked men not to shave, for their country.  The star of Man Bites Dog made a TV appeal for Belgian men to grow beards until Belgium finally forms a government.

Since inconclusive elections in June last year Belgium has been run by a caretaker government and splits remain between parties from the Dutch-speaking north and French-speaking south.  He said:

"We have decided to stop shaving for as long as Belgium has no government. Let's keep our beards until Belgium rises again."

I wonder how the burds will join in the protest?

Cross Hairs

SARAH Palin has hit out at her critics in the wake of the Tuscon shootings claiming they have fired at her 'with a semi-automatic hunting rifle of injustice'.

Blood moron

Mrs Palin has been criticised by some US commentators for continually using gun imagery in a way that - as they have made perfectly clear - would not have directly influenced the Arizona murders, but were certainly not designed to make people like each other.

But in a video posted on her Facebook page, the unofficial leader of America's Teapot movement hit back saying she had been 'sprayed with dishonesty bullets fired from the liberal media's .357  Magnum of unfairness and America-hating'.

She added: "I've spent the past few days reflecting on what happened and shooting my prayer shotgun at God and then waiting for him to return fire with exploding bullets of wisdom from his Heckler and Koch submachine gun of everlasting grace.

"I have listened, at first puzzled like a moose that's been hit in the leg, then with concern, like a moose that's been hit in the shoulder, and now with sadness, like a baby moose whose mother I've just shot.

"Acts of monstrous criminality stand on their own, like a brave American hunter on a lonely hillside, staring down the crosshairs of his beautifully polished Remington 750 Woodmaster as he waits patiently for something to kill."

Getting weird, Mrs Palin then said the US media had also accused her of murdering Jesus and drinking the blood of Christian children.

She continued: "How could I have killed Jesus? I'm only 46 and Jesus was born in like 3000 BC or something. And everyone knows I only drink moose blood."

Tom Logan, professor of politics at Reading University, said: "Mrs Palin has committed what is known as 'blood idiocy'.

"She has become so utterly cretinous that she is like the early Christians who wound up inside some lions because of their unshakeable belief in something that didn't exist."

Meanwhile Mrs Palin has vowed to take the fight to her liberal opponents with a nationwide 'Truth Tour' where she will begin each event by firing 2000 rounds from a massive, belt-fed machine gun at a small piece of paper with the word 'lies' written on it.

DMash.

Trad Wedding

THE ban on street brawling will be lifted temporarily for the royal wedding to allow celebratory fighting, it has been confirmed.

Pubs will also be open until 1am on the night of April 29, providing cheap, strong drinks to fuel a national outpouring of jubilant violence.

A Clarence House spokesman said: "Nothing is more emblematic of modern Britain than pints of nut brown ale and random acts of savagery, especially against strangers who happen to have a distinguishing feature, such as  a hat.

"The union of our future king and his live-in girlfriend is a wonderful opportunity for his loyal subjects to visit their favourite vertical drinking establishment, probably on some sort of leisure estate sandwiched between a cajun restaurant and a massive craft shop.

"The wedding will be shown on a large, wipe-clean kevlar screen that they can throw things at.

"Then they will turn on each other in an orgy of festive blood lust never forgetting that viscera is this generation's confetti."

He added: "It's going to be a wonderful day, whether you enjoy it in town or at home, hiding."

Trainee plasterer, Wayne Hayes, said: "I'll be treating it like a big sporting event. I will pick a 'side', either William or Kate, for entirely arbitrary reasons and then kick the fuck out of anyone who disagrees with me."

Architect Roy Hobbs insisted said: "These royal jamborees are an overhyped, superficial distraction from the harsh realities of modern life.

"Which is why I'll be down the Mason's Arms, necking a load of vodka and going mental with a pool cue."

DMash.