Of April Fool's spoofs, we had a few earlier today. :o)
Summer Hols
In a bid to cut back on wasteful heating and fuel bills, British parliament is to shut from 1st September 2011, all the way through the winter, until 1st April, 2012. MPs will "work from home" to cut costs to the tax payer and members of the public are being encouraged to visit them at their house(s) to discuss matters of the constituency. It is also another way to ensure no false claims can be made for commuting.
The houses of parliament will still remain open for certain periods but only for guided tours of the facilities for tourists, who will be asked to wrap up warmly as all heating is to be switched off. Tour guides will carry torches to help interested sightseers see, and a packed lunch will also be provided.
Tickets will start from £25 but there will be discounts for groups of 10 or over.
More details at House of Parliament.Beans Meanz Veggies
Baked beans and peas is the new Heinz tin idea, designed to get kids to eat their greens. If this proves successful, carrots and spaghetti will be considered and sprouts with frankfurters.Sounds gross but if children like it, why not?More at TTel.Beeragers
There is to be a new style of beer on sale soon, which mixes the traditional art of real ale brewing techniques with the German lager styles.Nick named beeragers, they will last much longer in the pumps than standard ales and have an ABV of 7% upwards.Dark, nutty brown in colour, they will still have a fizzy head and will be on sale in half or full litre glasses.Fosters, Boddingtons and Green King are all due to bring their new brews out in time for the summer and expect to pay £3.50 for the equivalent of a pint.More details at TTel.Tottenham Moving Home
Tottenham are to move from White Hart Lane to Wembley in a ground share scheme with the national stadium, after repeatedly being denied planning permission by Haringay Council. The club's owner, son of the famous blue jeans manufacturer, Daniel Levi told a press conference:"We did try to get the Olympic Stadium but were beaten by West Ham, so the only logical alternative was to make a bid for Wembley. England internationals are always played outside of the FA league fixtures so there will be no problem with fixtures clashing and if Redknapp does go on to be the next England manager, at least we can share his services too.All round, it works well for Tottenham, it works well for the FA and it will help our players who represent their country- it will be just like playing at home- which they will be."
Harry Redknapp was also available for comment and said that he would love to have a crack at managing both club and country and the ground share scheme was a "blinding idea". He joked that he wouldn't even have to leave his desk and the additional salary would help him with his income tax demands. He is facing a tax demand from the Inland Revenue in excess of £10 000 000, after not having made a tax return in the past twenty years.
He wouldn't elaborate on that subject further due to "legal issues" but he did say that would be the last time he would take any financial advice from Terry Venables.
Rumours that ex-Spurs idol, Glen Hoddle was going to return to his old club as assistant coach still persist, but he is known to be pursuing a follow up record deal with Clint Waddle, some thirty years after their previous hit, Diamond Highlights. However, should the record fail (as expected) we may yet see Hoddle coming back to Spurs.
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