Final part Lemmy's interview with viceland:
Your song “Stone Deaf in the USA” is a tribute to partying in America.
Yeah.
And you moved to LA.
Yeah. But not when I wrote that song.
So the song isn’t about that? That was just from touring?
Yeah. We did the Ozzy Osbourne tour—the first Blizzard of Ozz tour. Audiences were like this [makes a disgusted face].
Like, “What the fuck?”
All the way through the set. Most of them didn’t understand anything about it, but a few did and that’s our core fan base. Most of them were just there for the event of something, and they were appalled. But they were appalled by Ozzy too. Never mind us. What they did when Kiss joined the tour after we finished, I don’t know.
Jesus Christ, Kiss took over from you guys opening for Ozzy? That’s a schizophrenic tour.
Yeah. Kiss and Ozzy.
You are the most low-maintenance band, and then they needed their fucking makeup artist.
I know. Remember when they took the makeup off?
Yeah. That was awkward for everybody.
Very awkward. Because you found out, “Jesus, they’re ugly.”
They are not pretty men.
Except for Paul Stanley. He was still cute. But the other three?
It’s like waking up next to a chick after you were blackout drunk and you’re like, “Oh shit.”
[laughs] Fucking hell, hiding in the bathroom till she leaves.
I like to play asleep.
It’s like the fox-trap syndrome. You’d rather gnaw your arm off than wake her up.
We’ve all had that situation.
I remember one of our crew once, Paulie, there were these two chicks we took on all our German shows. We used to call them the “Monsters of Rock,” right? One of them had one tooth. A terrible mess, but they were really big fans, you know? So this guy Paulie pulled one of them one night, and they were sharing a room with our sound guy, Dave Chamberlain. He woke and he could tell he was next to someone, but he had no idea who it was. Then he looks over at Dave, and Dave is in bed like this [Lemmy makes more disgusted faces]. And he went [another disgusted face]. And Dave went [shakes his head]. Then Paulie went to the bathroom and waited till she left.
That’s a pretty relatable story for most people.
Most fans have been through that one.
Shit. I’ve dealt with that all over the Lower East Side. Really sounds like a good idea at first.
Yeah. Especially late night, drunk.
That’s when all the fucking golden chicks start popping out.
That’s when everybody becomes good looking, or at least manageable. But sometimes, it’s like there’s the last chicken in the shop and you don’t seem to be able to help yourself. It’s like having an out-of-body experience. You see yourself chatting up this dragon, and you know you’re doing it but you still do it.
It’s like the devil and the angel on the shoulder.
And the angel always loses.
The angel doesn’t have a tolerance for alcohol.
And the devil is always shaped like a dick.
Pointing at her.
“Do it, do it.” Like a fucking dog.
OK, this next one is kind of a cliché question.
I’ll give you a cliché answer.
All right. Good. Line me up with a solid for this one. Where are the best women you’ve found from touring all over the world?
The best women are the ones who want to fuck you, and the worst are the ones who don’t.
So that pretty much transcends all geographic boundaries.
It does, because there are only two kinds of women in the world—women who you want to fuck and succeed, and women who you don’t want to. It’s easy, really. It doesn’t matter where they’re from. I don’t mind the accent. There’s always sign language, even if you can’t speak the same language.
There is. Especially in a barroom.
Yeah. Though it gets kind of confusing if you’re really cataclysmically drunk. They often get the wrong idea. Many a guy has woken up married with tattoos on the chest.
I got a couple of friends like that. But listen, we have to also say that you’ve been very supportive of a lot of female musicians.
I like women in rock ’n’ roll. I was brought up by two women—my mother and my grandmother. My father left when I was three months old. She didn’t marry again till I was like ten or something, so I understand women a lot better than a lot of guys do from going out hunting with Dad. Mostly I like women more than guys. If you talk to guys, especially in America, it’s always macho bullshit you talk about, like how much you hate politics and you’re going to be in the militia and shoot something. There’s a lot of that about, and it’s a shame because this country is paradise. People here are shooting themselves in the foot and they don’t even know it.
Your song “Stone Deaf in the USA” is a tribute to partying in America.
Yeah.
And you moved to LA.
Yeah. But not when I wrote that song.
So the song isn’t about that? That was just from touring?
Yeah. We did the Ozzy Osbourne tour—the first Blizzard of Ozz tour. Audiences were like this [makes a disgusted face].
Like, “What the fuck?”
All the way through the set. Most of them didn’t understand anything about it, but a few did and that’s our core fan base. Most of them were just there for the event of something, and they were appalled. But they were appalled by Ozzy too. Never mind us. What they did when Kiss joined the tour after we finished, I don’t know.
Jesus Christ, Kiss took over from you guys opening for Ozzy? That’s a schizophrenic tour.
Yeah. Kiss and Ozzy.
You are the most low-maintenance band, and then they needed their fucking makeup artist.
I know. Remember when they took the makeup off?
Yeah. That was awkward for everybody.
Very awkward. Because you found out, “Jesus, they’re ugly.”
They are not pretty men.
Except for Paul Stanley. He was still cute. But the other three?
It’s like waking up next to a chick after you were blackout drunk and you’re like, “Oh shit.”
[laughs] Fucking hell, hiding in the bathroom till she leaves.
I like to play asleep.
It’s like the fox-trap syndrome. You’d rather gnaw your arm off than wake her up.
We’ve all had that situation.
I remember one of our crew once, Paulie, there were these two chicks we took on all our German shows. We used to call them the “Monsters of Rock,” right? One of them had one tooth. A terrible mess, but they were really big fans, you know? So this guy Paulie pulled one of them one night, and they were sharing a room with our sound guy, Dave Chamberlain. He woke and he could tell he was next to someone, but he had no idea who it was. Then he looks over at Dave, and Dave is in bed like this [Lemmy makes more disgusted faces]. And he went [another disgusted face]. And Dave went [shakes his head]. Then Paulie went to the bathroom and waited till she left.
That’s a pretty relatable story for most people.
Most fans have been through that one.
Shit. I’ve dealt with that all over the Lower East Side. Really sounds like a good idea at first.
Yeah. Especially late night, drunk.
That’s when all the fucking golden chicks start popping out.
That’s when everybody becomes good looking, or at least manageable. But sometimes, it’s like there’s the last chicken in the shop and you don’t seem to be able to help yourself. It’s like having an out-of-body experience. You see yourself chatting up this dragon, and you know you’re doing it but you still do it.
It’s like the devil and the angel on the shoulder.
And the angel always loses.
The angel doesn’t have a tolerance for alcohol.
And the devil is always shaped like a dick.
Pointing at her.
“Do it, do it.” Like a fucking dog.
OK, this next one is kind of a cliché question.
I’ll give you a cliché answer.
All right. Good. Line me up with a solid for this one. Where are the best women you’ve found from touring all over the world?
The best women are the ones who want to fuck you, and the worst are the ones who don’t.
So that pretty much transcends all geographic boundaries.
It does, because there are only two kinds of women in the world—women who you want to fuck and succeed, and women who you don’t want to. It’s easy, really. It doesn’t matter where they’re from. I don’t mind the accent. There’s always sign language, even if you can’t speak the same language.
There is. Especially in a barroom.
Yeah. Though it gets kind of confusing if you’re really cataclysmically drunk. They often get the wrong idea. Many a guy has woken up married with tattoos on the chest.
I got a couple of friends like that. But listen, we have to also say that you’ve been very supportive of a lot of female musicians.
I like women in rock ’n’ roll. I was brought up by two women—my mother and my grandmother. My father left when I was three months old. She didn’t marry again till I was like ten or something, so I understand women a lot better than a lot of guys do from going out hunting with Dad. Mostly I like women more than guys. If you talk to guys, especially in America, it’s always macho bullshit you talk about, like how much you hate politics and you’re going to be in the militia and shoot something. There’s a lot of that about, and it’s a shame because this country is paradise. People here are shooting themselves in the foot and they don’t even know it.
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